For a long time I thought I knew the meaning of the word, relax.

I spent time reading, writing and binging tv shows.

I always prioritized finding time to do the things that I enjoyed.

I made time for my pastimes.

No matter the amount of homework pilling up, I prioritized getting eight hours of sleep.

I thought I had things figured out.

I maintained productivity while also taking it "easy."

I believed myself to be a master of relaxing.

To me relaxing mean reading or writing; meant doing the things that I loved. But I could never do so, without doing something at the same time.

I was also a master of multitasking and that impeded my ability to relax properly. Because the art of relaxing requires a conscious effort and my contant need for production destroyed any room for thoughts of the such....Only I didn't know this at the time.

I strangely have the show Loki and my brother to thank for my realization.

One night, my brother came into my room to ask my thoughts on the latest episode I was watching. He was excited, waiting in anticipation for my reaction to an important scene. I stared at him blankly as I had no idea what he was referencing. I was sitting with the TV screen right in front of me, scene being discussed having played only moments prior but I didn't catch a second of it.

I missed an important line, a very important plot twist because I was writing on my laptop at the same time. Irritated with me, my brother said: "Don't you ever relax like a normal person?"

I stared at him blankly once more, because "What could he possibly mean?" I was a master of relaxing afterall. I was watching a show I enjoyed while writing notes for my class. What was wrong with that?

A lot was wrong with that.

Neither task was completed properly. I wasn't genuinely being productive nor relaxing. I don't think multitasking is a fault. I'm a firm believer that it can be a great asset, but we also need to fully unwind once in a while. We need to relax. And relaxing means forgetting about all the anxiety or pending tasks on your to do list. It means putting everything else aside, and just being, just enjoying the air coming in and out of your lungs.

Take a bath without planning the groceries you have to get tomorrow.

Watch your favourite show without answering the emails accumulating in your box.

Put the broom away as you make calls to schedule that appointment.

Pick your favourite mean of relaxing, and do that solely. Even if just for 20 minutes. The rest can wait a bit.

Reflect on your ability or inability to relax.

Do you feel the haunting, constant need for achievement?

If so, here's a few reminders that you may need to hear:

Don't ever feel bad about doing something you love.

You don't always have to be productive.

You can only do your best, and your best is always good enough.

Take a break, like our muscles need rest to grow stronger

Don't get lost in the journey towards your achievements.

It is great to have goals.

It is great to have something to thrive for.

But don't let your ambitions drive you sick.

Let yourself rest.

Rest is not a waste of time.

We can't run on an empty battery.

Take the time to recharge.

I had to repeat these little reminders to myself for a long time, and if you find yourself in the same boat, I encourage you to do the same.

And it will take reminding. A lot of reminding. Because old habits don't die easily, but we are all capable of change.

And we are all deserving of allowing our bodies the true liberty of relaxing.