Let's talk about the art of regret.

       I think we've all done and said things we wished we hadn't. We're human. Humans make mistakes. I think regret is a core trait of humanity. When we feel regret, it means that we can feel remorse. Guilt. The will to do better. The belief that our peers are deserving of great things.

       Regret presents a great opportunity to fix our wrongs and grow as a person, but most of us let regret weigh us down. We dwell on what we did wrong. We dwell on what we should have done, rather on what we can do to prevent its reoccurrence in the future.

       Regrets need to be turned into life lessons.

       I spent a lot of time regretting the way I chose to live my teen years. I resented myself for the opportunities I missed because I was too timid. Thoughts of the people I could have met, relationships I could have built, accomplishments and memories I could have made, plagued my mind. The more I thought about my regrets, the more I came to resent myself. I resented myself for things that no longer even effected my life. I resented myself for not waving to a stranger who probably didn't remember me. Resented myself for not getting on stage and dancing with my friends. Resented myself for not speaking up when I believed my opinion deserved to be heard. Resented myself for not pursing an education in a field that I was passionate about.

       All this resentment wasn't getting my anywhere. I could hate myself all I wanted, but it wasn't going to change anything. As I finally came to understand how these situations made me feel, what was stopping me from doing them differently moving forward? I realized that I could wave to the next stranger. I could get up and dance with my friends when the opportunity presented itself again. I could speak up, express my opinions and beliefs. I could go back to school and change my career.

       Just because we failed to do something in past, doesn't mean we can't do it or thrive for it in the future.

       I think many of of us are familiar with the movie We're the Millers, and more specifically, familiar with the man we all think is an idiot for having the words No Ragrets tattooed on his neck. Though the character didn't know any better, he could have woken and regretted his actions. He could have resented himself for not knowing how to spell. He could have isolated himself to ensure no one witnessed his mistake. Or he could have kept his chin up, and worn his mistake proudly as it had cause no harm. He even could have gone out with a scarf or booked an appointment for a tattoo cover up. He could have made a mental note to double check the spelling of something that would permanently mark his skin, in the future.

       The point is, there are many ways to find positivity in a potentially negative situation.

       To this day I randomly think of the day that I rejected a boy's hand in middleschool. I was humiliated that I had fallen and when one of the lesser popular boys offered to help, I turned my head away and waited for my friend. I was probably ten-years-old when this happened, but I thought about it for so long. I thought about it, because my actions didn't meet my values of compassion and friendliness. But it took a long time of resentment before actually doing something about it. Moving forward, I opened my mind to meeting diverse groups of individuals. I tried to include people who felt excluded. I made a vow to socialize with people that interested me, no matter characteristics of popularity that society has imposed. I did my best to show my peers the kindness I wanted to be shown.

        Let's go back to regretting my teenage years. For a long time, I felt like I missed out on countless opportunities. And I did. But what's the point of dwelling on what ifs? Without going through my many years of insecurities and troublesome thoughts, I wouldn't be able to enjoy life to the extent I do now. I've learnt to enjoy the little things, because I spent so many years thinking about the countless ways things could go wrong or ways I could embarrass myself. Because I spent so much time living in my head, I feel like I can better appreciate the freedom of living in the moment.

         If there are things you regret, I challenge you to work on letting it go. Think about the reasons things went wrong. Explore the ways the repercussions of your actions made you feel. List the ways you can rectify your mistakes and the ways you can prevent its reoccurrence. And then forgive yourself. If you care enough to feel regret, to feel guilt, then I know that you're in an ideal position to do better moving forward.