Another birthday comes around... time goes by so fast. I'm going on my 23rd year on this planet. I plan to celebrate. A day of fun with family and friends. A typical day of celebration. As most tend to do, I'll smile upon receiving best wishes, gifts and cake.

Smile. It is a happy day. But I think for most us, there is also a deep melancholy strumming in our hearts when we celebrate the day we were born.

Another birthday comes around...another year over.

If you're anything like me, you may have the tendency to unintentionally view your birthday as a countdown.

Though we know our time on earth isn't guaranteed, we all like to assume we will live the average life span. We imagine having 100 years of life, despite our looming mortality. So, when birthdays come around, we look at that new number in respect to an expected 100.

When I turned 20, I thought, "I've lived a fifth of my life... Assuming I even live to 100 years, which most people don't." What a depressing thought.

Rather than a sense of achievement and privilege, I suddenly faced a feeling of impending boom. A slow ticking time bomb.

23 years old... If I am blessed with a healthy and safe life, this could very well represent 1/4 of my life. I might get to live the period of time I already have, three more times. 23 years went by so fast. 3 more times doesn't seem like a lot.

Again, what a depressing perspective. But as much as I try to banish those thoughts, the notion lingers in my mind. A subconscious urgency to achieve more, to achieve faster.

Who's to say that 23 won't be 1/2 or all my life? This isn't meant to induce fear. But we are never guaranteed a tomorrow. So, the idea of maintaining birthdays as a countdown has no merit. I'm counting down to the unknown, and that is bringing me no benefit.

Though I know these feelings are useless, simply forgetting them is a lot easier said than done. In the same sense, we know that most things that cause us anxiety are meaningless, but that doesn't change the fact that our feelings are there and valid.

So instead of trying to force these thoughts away, I opted to redirect my focus. As I do not want my life measured in number of years, I sought to find the measurement I do desire.

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if I get to heave 1,000,000 breaths and someone else gets 20,000 breaths. Sure, when grief strikes we'll think of all those extra breaths that could have been heaved. We'll think of all the things those extra breaths would have allowed to occur.

But in the long run, nobody remembers us for our breath count.

Think of all those you lost. What do you remember them for? Though their age may strike your mind, is that what you remember them for?

I doubt it.

I don't want to be remembered by a number of breaths or years.

I want to be remembered for the smiles that graced my face, and the smiles that I graced upon other faces.

I want to be remembered for the laughter that blessed my ears, at my own expense. The expense of jokes cracked, or my likely clumsiness.

I want to be remembered for the memories I created with those I love most.

I want to be remembered for the lives I influenced in a positive way.

I want to be remembered for my empathy and kindness.

I want to be remembered for my silliness and spacey tendencies.

I want to be remembered for all the moments that flickered joy to life.

Those are the moments that count.

Those are the real quantifiers of life.

Those are the numbers that matter.

I urge you to try to stop measuring your life in years. Stop measuring your life in breaths. Measure your life in memories and happy moments.

23 years might be a 1/4 of my life, but it also might be the beginning of my happiest moments. While it might mark the near of the literal end, it might also mark the beginning of the best version of my life.

There is no way to know, how my, or your, life will play out. We can only have hope.

Though uncertainty is scary, there is an equal beauty, in all the potential blessings we don't see coming.

Another birthday comes around...Another year begins.