We've all heard the saying, "There's plenty of fish in the sea." It's not wrong. No matter what our insecurities might tell us sometimes, there are plenty of people in the dating field with whom we could be compatible.

     Just because something takes time or fails multiples time, doesn't mean it won't come eventually. I promise that your list of potential suitors is much longer than you could imagine.

      But no matter the large sea population, sometimes we get fixated on one fish. Which isn't bad. That one fish could be the best thing to ever happen to you. But sometimes we fixate on fish that serve only to destroy our tanks. Sometimes we nearly drown in attempt to keep up with a specific fish. We do everything in our capacity to ensure we offer them a tank to their liking, while they do nothing in return.

      Sometimes we want one fish so bad, that we suffocate them. We place all our happiness in their fins and find ourselves shattered when they leave. We cling to them even when they're gone. We're desperate to find them again; searching the ocean endlessly like a Kardashian searching for a missing diamond earring.

      The search may very well be successful, but other times, we're so desperate that our actions drive them further away.

Dreaming About My Fish

I had a dream a few nights ago, about losing my clownfish in the middle of the sea. I've never owned a fish, so I'm not sure where the dream came from, but it was so vivid that it left a mark.

     In a tiny wooden boat, storm approaching, I rowed across the ocean waves, searching desperately for that clownfish. I spent hours looking, only stopping when I realized that the search was hopeless. I returned to shore and took cover for the storm.

     When the storm passed and I went to the beach to catch a breath of fresh air, there he was, my clownfish flopping helplessly across the wet sand, waiting to be rescued. I picked it up in my hands, surprised that it came back on its own.

     Another popular saying fits this moment: "If you love something, let it go."

     If something is meant to be, it'll work out in the end. If you are meant to love a specific person and you are in separation, they will come back. Refusing to let go is not healthy. Refusing to let go may prevent them from coming back.

      The dream version of myself probably would have drowned or been lost at sea, had she not let go of the chase before the storm arrived.

     The dream ended with faint uncertainty as I contemplated taking my fish back home or releasing it back into the ocean.

Swimming Back to You

      If your fish does decide to come back, it'll be up to you to decide what to do with it. Do you still have room in the tank you designed for them? Or will you hand the plastic bag to someone new, and let them be someone else's problem?

     I suppose your decision will depend on what your fish left to do.

     Maybe they had obstacles you didn't know about. Maybe they were trying to find their way to you, but they were stuck in a dentist's office, desperately trying to make an escape before they could be mishandled by a girl in pigtails.

      It's okay to remain open to their return.

     It's okay to accept their return or deny it.

     Maybe your fish left for selfish (pun intended) reason.

     If my clownfish took after Nemo and disappeared because they were tempted to touch a butt, I would be likely to send them on their merry way when they returned.

      But we all have different journeys to live, so I cannot recommend you a course of action, other than floating with the waves and doing what feels right in your heart.

     When you find a fish you like, do nurture it. Protect and care for it, but make sure that you get the same treatment in turn. And if they choose to leave, let them. If it's meant to be they'll come back, but in the meantime you have a life to live. You may be blind to the other fish waiting to love you, because you're rowing down treacherous waters in search for something that no longer exists.

      You shouldn't ever have to beg to be loved. One day you'll have a fish that willingly chooses your tank. Whether that be the return of that clownfish or someone new.