I decided to pull out an old picture of myself and I urge you to do the same.

     Though our thoughts might differ, some of the words that cross my mind when looking at the picture were: sweet, innocent, carefree, deserving, happy, free, potentially, safe, hope...

     Words we associate with any child, words we learn to eliminate from our self-inflicted vocabulary as adults... Why do we do this?

     As I looked at this pictures, I couldn't fathom ever wishing this little girl harm. I couldn't fathom speaking the words I used to reserve for myself. There would be no harsh criticism and degradation. There would only be welcoming arms and a warm smile.

     I couldn't fathom those cruel thoughts, because no child deserves to experience that.

     We would never wish to crush a child's dream. Never wish to belittle them, or to make them feel as though they'll amount to nothing. To tell them that they're a waste of space, or useless in comparison to their peers.

     The same can't always be said for the adult-world. We're expected to grow tough skin. Our feelings don't matter as much. We're told to grow up. They say, don't be a baby.

      But we seem to forget that we were all children. Those children are still, and will forever be a part of us.

     We are no less undeserving of mistreatment.

     I am still that little girl in that picture. She still lingers deep within.

     The way I treat myself today is a reflection of the way I used to and continue to mistreat her.

     It's for change.

     That little girl has already endured more pain than she ought have.

     It's time for healing.

Learning to Heal the Inner Child

 Tears pool in my eyes, every time I think of this child that I showed only cruelty. I think of the dreams I crushed, the confidence and self-esteem I crushed. I think of the awful words that followed every single action and thought experienced by that little girl.. And I am overwhelmed with heartache.

      For some time, I hated myself for my lacking ability to show myself kindness. I hated all the pain I had inflicted.

     But I didn't know better at the time.

     I was just a child.

     I didn't know life in my head could be different.

     I didn't know that I could learn to control some of my most troubling thoughts.

     I didn't know right from wrong when it came to self-awareness and care.

     Regret and despair lingered. I didn't know what to do with these feelings...

     I didn't know what to do until I looked at myself in the mirror. I studied my reflection, and tried to locate that innocent gaze of a three-year-old in my current twenty-two year old. And then came the most important stage in my journey: I apologized. I apologized to myself. I looked myself in the eye, let myself feel the empathy and sadness in my chest, and voiced my genuine sorrows for my actions.

     Most importantly, I looked at my picture again, and I knew that little girl would forgive me without a beat of hesitation. Sweet. Innocent. Love for the world. With a trusting heart that had yet to be broken, that little girl would offer me forgiveness in a heartbeat. I have no doubt about it.

      Acknowledging this forgiveness, has been more freeing that I can put to words. It was the first step in letting go of resentment and regret, and the first step in learning from past mistake...

     Look in the mirror dear reader and try to find that inner child.