Letting go of control is a concept I've heard so many times, during my spiritual journey. It's a frequent affirmation in my nightly meditation videos. I hear it over and over in tarot card videos. It's a general recommendation made by many of my peers.

At this point, I feel like the universe is slapping me around a little, with the hope that I finally listen to those four words.

For a while, I thought I was letting go of control. I kept telling myself, "I don't care how or when it happens," even though I still very much cared.

I pretended not the care, whilst still having precise expectations for every step in the attainment of my goals. I still had set dates to achieve certain things, and set people and milestones to meet.

Having a plan or schedule isn't a bad thing. They're actually great assests when you're trying to complete something. I like being prepared. I will never be spontaneous enough to wing an interview or presentation. But I'm trying to be more open to the idea of embracing different paths to the attainement of my goals. I'm working on truly not caring about that "how" and "when".

I'd like to clarify that I'm not giving up. I'm not surrending any effort placed into the things I want most. I'm still fighting and chasing those dreams. I still have a general routine and schedule.

But I'm letting go of my expectations for how and when it'll happen.

Or trying to, to say the least. It's not as easy as it seems.

It's difficult to give up control when I've so long been task orientated. Constantly planning my day in way to ensure the highest level of productivity.

Yes, some would consider me a control freak. I can admit to it. I'm working on truly letting go of control, and I've accepted that that can be a work in progress.

Universe... I'm listening. I understand now. I'm ready to relinquish control. I'm leaving it in your hands.

People might think I'm crazy for feeling like I've befriended the Universe. Because what does that even mean? I couldn't tell you, but I feel it nonetheless. And I know the Universe has my back.

Universe or God. Whatever you choose to believe. (I have a hard time differentiating the two, but that's another post).

I feel those dreams coming in. I don't know when or how, and that almost makes it more exciting.

Letting go of control doesn't have to be scary. It can be thrilling.

I'm open to receiving. I'm open to the surprises that await my future.