One simple word. Just two letters. It should be easy to speak, but it's not, to people pleasers like me. Because it feels more natural to disappoint myself than others. Because it feels selfish to follow my own desires when it opposes that of someone else.

No, is a refusal, a rejection or disagreement. All things that I do not like to impose on others.

I'm known for my kindness and easy-going traits. I want to maintain this appearance. I like this appearance...But why should it mean not showing myself the same privilege? Why should it mean pleasing another at the expense of myself?

It shouldn't.

And nobody expected me to act this way. I only led myself to believe that it was an expectation.

A few years back, I went to a concert with my friends. A few drinks in, I was feeling good. I was enjoying the music and my friends' company, when someone asked me to dance. Sober, people-pleasing Me would have hesitated but ultimately been incapable of refusing. Because even if I didn't want to, I wouldn't want to risk hurting someone's feeling.

Even if my feet ached, and I just wanted to sit, I would have danced all night long for the sake of a stranger, rather than mine.

But that night, I said "No" without hesitation.

I didn't even have to think about it. The word just slipped through.

Drunk Me speaks her mind a little more easily (maybe too easily), as we all tend to do. Filter faded, I had no qualms for voicing what I wanted.

Looking back, I do feel a little bad as my answer certainly could have been less blunt, but there's also pride for the girl who let herself act in the way that best suited her needs and desires.

Drunk Me tends to make bad decisions, but this is one occasion in which I choose to take her lead.

I'm working on saying "no" more often. Not just saying it for the sake of voicing it. Because saying "yes" is just as important. Not saying "yes", even when it occasionally brings me discomfort, would lead to me missing out on many amazing opportunities.

I am by no means, writing this post to suggest that you answer every question with "No."

Instead I'm working on finding a healthy balance between yes and no. And it's really as simple as following the little word singing in my heart.

When I say "No" when I don't mean it, something it my heart flickers. Something tells me: go for it! Try something new. You've been wanting something like this. Don't let your insecurities scare you away....

And when I say "Yes" when I don't meant it, something also flickers in my chest. Something tells me: you know that's not what you want. You don't have to go along with this, just for their sake. This isn't aligned with your best interest. Say what you really want...

I'm also learning that it's okay to speak one of the two, and to later change your mind. I have accepted responsibilities or schedule changes at work, without thinking them through.

Though it brought me great anxiety, the next day I composed an email. I was honest. I told them that after getting the chance to think it through, the new schedule was simply not enligned with my best interest. And after working myself up, deeply fearing their response, they didn't make a big deal out of it. They thanked me for my honesty. Thanked me for considering the opportunity, and reassured me that my decision was perfectly reasonable.

Speak the word you want to speak. You are allowed to make decisions that meet your best interest.

I know it's difficult sometimes. I know for some of us, it goes against what we think is right. But you are always the priority in your life.

You don't have to sacrifice your needs and desires. You shouldn't have to.

You are allowed to say yes, just as much as you are allowed to say no.

And you are allowed to change your mind at any time.