"You have the tendency to believe that people think the worse of you. Though that's far from the truth, you still feel that way. I won't discredit your feelings. But because you and only you, can hear these thoughts, you need to be able to count on yourself to redirect them.

I will always believe in you, but if you ever come to doubt that, I want you to look in the mirror and believe in yourself. When you feel like the world is against you; when you're scared or doubting yourself, look into your own soft eyes and reassure yourself that everything will work out for the best... I know there are people who will support you, but even if they don't, your desires need to be enough to keep you on your chosen path. You are enough, and I need you to remember that every time you look into a mirror."

This is an excerpt from my novel, For You. In this scene, the main character tries to help his love interest to see her self-worth. He stands her in front of a mirror, with the hope that she will see herself with the same value he does.

I started this novel in high school, and it's only looking back at it now, that I realize that I am Lexi. She represents the broken girl I used to be, and Jaxson is the hero I used to await.

I waited years to find the one. I wanted desperately to fall in love. Or rather, I waited to be loved unconditionally by someone, and waited for him to help mend my broken heart. I hoped the love he would hold for me, would be enough to make up for the love I didn't show myself.

The longer I spent searching aimlessly for this person, the more my despair grew. I was miserable. I spent every minute of the my days, longing for something I didn't have. Resenting myself for failing to find what I thought should have been easy.

But, the person I was looking for, was around the whole time.

That person was Me.

I had to learn to become my own hero.

I had to learn how to see past my insecurities and perceived flaws, and see my qualities.

I had to learn that my mistakes didn't make me any less of a worthy person. And learn that the regret I felt towards my past mistakes, proved that I had good intentions at heart.

Most of all, I learned that I could not experience true love, without first learning to love myself.

In a previous post called Falling in Love with Yourself, I've written about how taking a real look at myself in the mirror helped trigger my journey to self-love.

I didn't look in the mirror as I usually would. Didn't look to assess my fit of the day. Didn't look to cover the pimples that had erupted during the night. I held my gaze as I would when someone spoke to me, and looked at myself as I would any other human being.

It hit me then, that I had so long treated myself differently then I treated my peers. I didn't offer myself the same forgivence. Didn't offer myself the same support, encouragement, or love.

The day you realize that the way you treat yourself is a way that you wouldn't dare treat others, is the day you start breaking bad habits. It's the day you can start showing yourself kindness and love.

Find time today to look in the mirror. Hold your own gaze with a love that you usually reserve for your loved ones. Even if you have to fake it in the beginning. The more you practice becoming your own friend, the more you will find the behaviours becoming natural.