The clocks keep ticking. The needles seem to be moving quicker than my feet. Before I know it, Earth has completed its orbit around the sun again. And what do I have to show it? It feels like I'm in the same place I was 365 days ago. I feel like I'm wasting my precious time...

     I got emotional after the clock struck midnight, indicating this new year. I was going into my 23rd year of life, still so young, but I felt like I was falling behind. No romantic partner. No marriage. No children. No house. No dream career. When my parents were my age, they had these things. A lot of my peers, people I went to school with, friends and family, have these things. I couldn't fathom why, despite all my efforts, that I didn't have these things yet.

      As a child I had envisioned myself meeting the love of my life at eighteen years old. Marrying them at twenty and having children within the following year or two. At twenty-three years I would be set to live my happily ever after.

     I had fantasized for so long that when I missed these imposed timelines, I couldn't help but feel like a failure.

     Life isn't a race.

      Take a deep breath and slow down. Reach for your goals. Dream big. But don't forget to live while your chasing your goals. Drop the tunnel vision and see what's in your peripheral during your journey towards your achievements.

      When I stopped putting a timeline to milestones, I realized that I am already happy with the life I'm living. I realized that my journey doesn't like that of some of my friends, because I had certain lessons and experiences to live. I wasn't ready to move at the same pace they did.

      At eighteen years old, I wouldn't have been prepared for a relationship. I hated myself. I wanted a relationship because I thought that someone else's love for me would be enough to erase my self-hatred. Because this didn't happen, I had to learn to love myself or continue to live in misery. I learned to find in myself, what I so long searched for in a partner. I'm okay on my own. I enjoy my own company. I can support my own needs and lean on myself. And those are the reasons that I am now, truly, prepared for a relationship. I'm no longer seeking someone to heal me. I've healed myself. What I want now, is someone with whom I can share my already happy life.

       At eighteen years old, I chose a career path based only on the promise of success. At this age, I wasn't brave enough to chase what I wanted. I didn't know it was a real possibility. I was too young to understand that I could prioritize my own values, rather than those imposed by society. For a long time, I thought I would be stuck in this decision made by my eighteen year old me. But it's never too late to chase something more fulfilling. It's never too late to go back to school, to change jobs or work on a side hustle.

       I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be in life. As I'm sure you are. 

      If you feel like your falling behind, take a minute and think about the reason you feel this way. Are you comparing your goals to someone else's achievements? 

       Maybe your younger sister got married before you. Maybe your friend just bought a house, while you're struggling to pay rent. It doesn't make you a failure to not be in the same phase of life as other people your age. Remember that we're all living different lives. We all faces different challenges and barriers. And maybe there is work to be done. Maybe you need to manage your money better. Maybe you need to gather your courage and fight for that interview. Maybe those things come easier to your peers. But, again, that doesn't make you a failure or inferior in any way. It just means that you have lessons to learn, experiences to live. Just as I'm sure your peers have lessons to learn in different aspects of their lives, that you may not realize you're already thriving in.