I hate feeling slightly jealous of Minseok’s girlfriend. She does make him happy so why am I not happy for him? I sigh to myself, I'm so used to having him around.

Yoona gives me a soft smile as she wraps her arm around my shoulders. “I know you miss your guys bonding.”

“No biggie let's do our homework.” I say grabbing our backpacks heading to the living room.

“You do know you don't ever need to hide from me. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.” She said following me into the living room.

“I know that. Really I do. It's just having the any type of feeling talk is weird for me. You know that.”

“I do but you can never go wrong on telling me what's in your mind.”

I always consider her words but never put them into action. I can trust her with anything but she and everyone knows that talking about Minseok is a rare thing even talking about Sehun.

Sitting down on the couch I pulled out my journals, “let's start with math because it's a bitch.”

“I fucking agree with you on that.” changing the topic for the better we begin our slave work.

Homework all finished and waving Yoona goodbye I couldn't help but think about relationships. Yoona doesn't date because she was in a toxic relationship and gets scared to get close to anyone and for it to end up the same.

I on the other hand never really had a real relationship. Of course I've dated but I never took them seriously. Never said ‘I love you’ because I simply don't feel it.

I don't date because I don't like time to be wasted whether it's mine or my partners because I know it will be hard for me to fall in love. One thing for sure is I love my friends and my family. But mainly I love my brothers more than anything, even Sehun.

We may bark at each other like dogs but I wouldn't want it in any other way. As my mind continues to drift off I ended up falling asleep and I soon feel like I'm being lifted into the air. Slightly opening my heavy eyelids I see that it's Minseok.

“What are you doing?” I say slowly in a sleepy voice.

He shushes me, “I'm taking you to your bed I can tell you're tired.”

Unconsciously I wrap my arms around his neck snuggling more into his chest inhaling his expensive cologne.

With each step he takes I fall into a deeper sleep. I missed this, I miss him even just by being near him.

“No I'm not tired.” I struggle to say protesting.

He chuckles, “I know we haven't been hanging out lately but you're a girl with a full energy bar trust me I know when you're tired. I know you Jess better than anybody.” I smile to myself mentally because I know that no matter what he will always love me and support me.

Sometimes I just want to be with a guy like Minseok. Someone who is understanding, caring, patient, mature, and loving.

But then every girl wants that. So I want something different something not every girl has or does because I want to be different. I don't ever want to be your everyday average girl.

Minseok stops walking right when he got upstairs in front of my bedroom. Confused on why he didn't enter I opened my eyes and see Sehun standing in his way. Rolling my eyes I laid my head back down on his shoulder.  

“Is something wrong with her ankle.” Sehun asked in confusion.

“No I'm just taking her to her bed so she can rest.”

“So the princess needs you to carry her into her room?”

“Sehun-”

“She's seventeen she can walk on her own.”

“You're nineteen and you don't help her out.”

“From picking her up on the couch? Dude you're twenty two. Stop trying to act like dad. We have one.” hearing Sehun walk away I also can hear his footsteps stop as well. “Stop trying to act like a boyfriend it's disgusting.” and with that he goes downstairs for who knows what.

Listening to Minseok’s heavy sigh almost affected me but Sehun's words hurt more. ‘Stop trying act like dad. We have one.’ I know that our dad being gone a lot always took a heavy toll on Sehun he's closer to our dad than any of us.

Minseok is closer to all of us and I'm just closer to them all besides Sehun. He does his own thing which is fine with me because I'll always have Minseok as my perfect ideal brother.

He lowers me down in my bed I feel a soft kiss on my forehead followed by a ‘goodnight Jessica’. I smiled snuggling my blanket close to my chest.

Maybe one day I can fall in love. I really want to experience that. Hopefully it will be soon with my perfect dream man.