(Seraphina)

I feel sick to my stomach the next day. It was hard to sleep last night, and I wanted to throw up. I had fallen asleep, but I woke up. I don't know how I woke up. I didn't have a nightmare. I didn't have a weird dream that woke me up. I just woke up.

I get up and rush to my bathroom. I throw up dinner from last night, my hair in a messy ponytail to keep it out of my face. I brush my teeth after, and I walk downstairs to make myself some broth.

I eat it slowly when my mother comes downstairs. "Are you sick?" she asks me. I look at her. She takes my temperature and curses underneath her breath.

"A fever. Take some cold medicine later and get some sleep," my mother says. "Drink lots of fluids. I have to get to work." She leaves without saying "goodbye."

I call Emily and tell her that I got sick and I ask her if she can bring me any homework from my classes. She says that she will, and we both hang up. Drinking water, I walk back upstairs and lay back down in bed.

Why do my parents hate me so much? Was I a mistake? An abortion failed? A freak?

~•~

At Back-to-School Night, my mother promised me that she was going to visit each of my new classes on my first day of sixth grade. I was excited for her to come to meet my teachers. But she never came to the school. When she finally showed up, it was over and I had walked home from THINK Together. She broke that promise.

~•~

My father couldn't make it to a father-daughter dance when I was in first grade and he promised me that he would take me to Dairy Queen to make it up. He never did. He broke that promise.

~•~

Most of my life, my parents promised that they would do something for me and they kept breaking those promises. I stopped asking them for stuff and I only really asked them for new clothes or shoes when I needed them. I fulfilled my promises to them, but they never returned their promises.

~•~

Thinking about this now, I realize that I don't know my parents truly. The only person that acted like a mother or father was Emily. I turned onto my side and fell asleep.

When I wake up, I walk downstairs and eat some soup. Emily knocks on the door and gives me my homework.

"Thanks," I say.

"You're welcome." Emily smiles and kisses my cheek before leaving to go home. When I get back into the house, I blush and cover my face with my papers.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Did Emily like me? Love me?

What do I do?

If my parents find out that I may have a crush on a girl, they'll send me to therapy. They don't like the LGBTQ+ community, and I don't know why.

What'll happen to our friendship?

Do I like her back?

I walk to my bedroom and finish my homework in an hour. I take some cold medicine and lay back down on my bed. My stomach growls, but I had some soup that I had finished quickly.

I fall asleep again. The next day, Emily drops me off at home after school and Charlotte had gotten sick, so she wasn't at school today. Thank goodness. I kiss Emily's cheek before I leave the car.

"Blondie!" Emily calls out. I face her. "I like you. More than a friend."

Emily and I blush at the same time. "I like you too. More than a friend," I say, blushing more. I realized that I like her in return. She smiles and blows me a kiss as she drives away. I walk into my house and shut the door. I put a hand on my chest and smile like a lovesick schoolgirl.

~•~

Emily and I are walking around a garden, and she skips a rock across a small pond. "When I was little, I would have given anything to be like everyone else," she confides in me.

"You wanted to be petty and dishonest?" I ask her.

"Everyone's not like that," she says, looking at me in concern.

"Yes, they are," I say.

"You're not like that," she tells me.

"How do you know what I'm like?" I ask her.

"You're the most amazing person with selective mutism that I've ever met," she says, making me smile.

I start to walk towards a fountain and she says, "Sera . . . when I'm with you, I don't feel so alone."

"Sometimes it's better to be alone," I say.

"What do you mean?" Emily asks me.

"Nobody can hurt you," I say, sitting down on the edge of the fountain. She sits next to me, holding my hands gently.

"Sera, I would never, ever hurt you," she tells me, looking into my eyes.

"And I don't want to hurt you, so let's stop this before . . . " I say, the words dying on my lips as we both lean in to kiss each other. Our mouths are about to lock when my phone rings, Dead Girl Walking (Reprise) from Heathers: The Musical playing.

~•~

I wake from that dream, blushing a deep red. I've heard that peoples'  are just memories joined up to be either fantastic or horrifying. What did that dream mean? Is that going to happen someday?

I'm not a fortune teller, and sometimes you don't always get what you ask for usually. I'll have to hope that the dream means that something good is coming someday. One can only have faith.

I pull a lavender-colored, soft blanket over my body and fall asleep again. With the amount of sleep that I've gotten, I think that I'll be better by tomorrow.

"What should I do if my parents find out that I'm interested in girls instead of boys?" I ask myself before I fall asleep. I sleep until my alarm goes off the next morning. Ready for another day of school.