Alec remembers how many times in his life he went to sleep without nightmares and peaceful sleep. That night was the worst, the most frightful night for him after he witnessed Magnus left his room with unspoken words. His heart broke into million pieces as he knew all of these are mainly cause by him. He knew for the fact he is the reason for his never ending misery in his life. The pain Liam cause physically is never as painful as the pain he felt now in his heart due to Magnus sudden disappearance.

When Alec woke up that morning, his head pounding and his eyes are burning. He look around his empty room not knowing what he actually look for. He sat up with a sighed and buried his face in his palm. His elbow rested on his lap while he think back on the first time he got here. He made up his mind, the whole night he couldn't sleep thinking on his decision and he finally made up as soon as he woke up, he shall leave Magnus for good and start off his lives somewhere else. Its for the best, for everyone.

After he showered and get himself together, he put on his clothes and ready for his duty as Rafe guardian like his usual days. He need to figure out a way on telling Rafe of his leaving as it was not easy as he thought. His heavy heart not for leaving Magnus but for telling Rafe goodbye. The look on that poor boy face would break his heart and Rafe would hate him forever but its for everyone sake, its the best Alec could think of. The best for everyone. 

As he strode himself towards Rafe' room, he knocked on the door softly before he entered. "Rafe." He spoke and when he peeked his head in, he saw Rafe still on the bed sprawled all legs apart while he lied on his stomach and the blanket is no where on him. He smiled before he slide beside him and stroke his back. "Rafe." He whispered.

He wasn't getting any reply from him so he called again, "Rafe, good morning, time to wake up." He spoke softly and he heard him mumbles in his sleepiness. His eyes blinked few times before he started to move. "Morning sweetheart." Rafe hummed before he turned on his back and groaned. He rubbed his eyes and yawn in sleepiness. When he finally wake up he look into in front of him and smiled.

"Morning sleepy head, want some breakfast?" He asked but Rafe didn't answer instead he jumped up and hugged Alec's neck. "Woah. What's wrong?" Alec asked. He rubbed his back cooing him in soft voice. "I'm sorry." He whispered in Alec's embrace. Alec couldn't help but felt the heaviness in his heart reduced a little. Although it makes it even harder now for him to leave Rafe. They hugged for a while before he pulled him away and made Rafe look to him.

"I don't hate you, I'm sorry." He muttered slowly holding Alec's shoulder while he gaze kept on the space between them. Alec chuckled softly before he pulled him for another hug. "Its okay sweetie, its okay." He whispered into his ears cooing him while stroking his back. "Come on lets get breakfast." He pulled Rafe body away before turning his head without letting him see his teary eyes. Why he had to be so kind and compassion but his father is not as warm as he is. Alec wondered while walking down the hallway hand in hand with Rafe hoping to see Magnus in the living room or probably the kitchen. But as they passed the area, no sign of Magnus, only Mary cooking her way in the kitchen. "Morning boys." She greeted with a sincere smile. Alec placed Rafe on the chair so he could have his breakfast while Alec helped Mary with the dishes. He didn't answered her back except for Rafe which concerns her in advanced.

"Is everything okay?" She asked as she stood beside Alec who had his hand soaked in soap and water. "Hmhm." He hummed in response which didn't exactly satisfied her questioned so she eyed him intensely and back at Rafe who had pancakes filled syrup all over his mouth. He looked up and meet Mary's eyes before he shrugged not knowing what got Alec so upset. "Have you seen Magnus?" Alec suddenly asked and Mary sighed before she answered. "No idea. He wasn't home whole night. Probably at Camille's."

Alec's heart dropped at the word Camille and so does the plate he was holding. It splits into pieces as it shatters into the sink and accidentally cut Alec's hand. Blood start to soak the sink as Alec winced in pain. "Oh my god, Alec are you okay?" She held Alec's hand towards the running water to wash all the soap from his hand and turned it off after grabbing the napkin from the table holding Alec's hand into her. "S-Sorry, it slipped." Alec mumbles as he kept wincing at the pain. Rafe eyed the scene in horror as he saw Mary pulled Alec towards the stool and sat him down. Blood dripping down seeping through the white napkin and onto the floor. "Rafe come on." Mary pulled Rafe away from the kitchen and asked one of the other maid to bring him upstairs and changed from his pajamas. He looked into Alec's tearing eyes as he walked and Alec nodded with a weak smile reassuring him.

"Let me see?" She took Alec's palm into hers and inspect the area. "Its deep Alec, we need to get you to the hospital, you need stitches." He hissed as Mary put back a clean cloth on Alec's wound and starts cleaning it. "N-No, its small cut. I'll be fine, just wrapped it up, it will stop bleeding soon." Alec suggested as he took another cloth and wrapped it up. "Alec don't be ridiculous. You're gonna get infected by it." He ignored her and went to the one of the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vodka. He went back to the sink and unwrapped his bloody hand before he unscrewed the bottle and poured it on the wound. Like putting more salt to the wound, this feels more worst, like putting more knife and more salt or vinegar, it burns as Alec screamed in pain. "What the hell are you doing?" She asked as she took the bottle away and turned on the tap to wash Alec's hand. Tears flooded on his cheeks as he winced in pain. Mary couldn't help to feel bad for what Alec did but deep down she felt like this wasn't the first time he did this.

She took the yellow bottle from the first aid she grabbed under the skin and pour on Alec's palm making him winced and tears more dripping on his cheek. "Sorry, sorry. it burns a bit." The iodine barely did the burning but his heart did the most. He couldn't stop thinking on Magnus being at Camille if Mary was right. If he is mad at him, why did he look for her. He felt dizzy thinking on Magnus went to Camille and the thought of Magnus kissed her, holding her and how she would love having Magnus back in her life. Mary noticed how Alec starts to stand weak so she guided him on the stool behind him. "Here, take this." She poured water in the glass and gave to Alec to calm him down, he took it with a shaky hand and sipped it to half. "Alec I still think you need to go to hospital, it looks bad." She eyed him in his eyes and back to the wound as she placed a gauze on it and wrapped a bandage nicely this time. "N-No, its fine, I had it worst before." He answered and Mary couldn't help to look into Alec deeply with a furrowed eyebrow. "What do you mean?" She asked and Alec didn't answered instead he look down into his injured hand now nicely wrapped in a white bandage.

"H-How did you know Magnus at Camille? Did he tell you?" He asked insecurely and she shook her hear before she stood up straightening her skirt. "I assumed he is, usually if he wasn't at home, he probably at hers and she liked to keep him for herself till the late evening and he would either showed up drunk or walk of shame." She added before placing back the first aid under the sink. She scrapped up the broken plate and throw it in a garbage bin and turned around to gaze Alec who now look even worst than before.

"Why don't you let Jax take you to the hospital, I'll look after Rafe today." She said as she pulled Alec back on his feet. He wobbled for a moment grabbing her shoulder but shook his head in protest. "I'll be fine, I just need to lie down for a while." He said and he could hear Mary sighed next to him. She helped him upstairs and to his room. He got under the blanket lay down as she tucked him in like he used to Rafe. "I'll bring up some breakfast for you." He didn't answered but instead he sighed closing his eyes.

Alec didn't remember when he fell asleep but as soon as he opened his eyes he felt his head pounding as the sun shines brightly into his room. The light disturbed his gaze and he tried to adjust. He lifted his head and he winced as soon as he move his hand. He took his bandaged hand into his good one as he felt heavy and burning underneath it. "Alec." He heard a voice beside his bed and when he looked it was Rafe. "Are you okay?" He asked worriedly and Alec smiled assuring him as he nodded. "I brought you this." He said as he climbed on the bed and bring a piece of paper in his hand. Its folded with colors filled on the first and second paged. Its a get well soon card that he drew for Alec.

"You made this? Thank you sweetheart." He said as he kissed his forehead and placed the card by his bed side. "I want you to get better soon." He said and Alec noticed how he got closer under Alec's arm and he raised it so he could hugged his side. Luckily it was his right hand that got hurt so he could hugged Rafe by his left. "I will Rafe, sorry we couldn't do anything today." He said but Rafe was again smile looking up to him. "Don't worry, we can stay here and play." He said cheerily. Alec noticed the tray next to his bed as he felt his stomach grumbled. So he decided to eat something that Mary left him. Later they occupied their day with Rafe and his imagination on make believe. Although Alec's body is at the room but his mind wanders at Magnus whereabout.

Magnus still didn't come home that day and Alec couldn't help but to feel worry. He waited the whole day and even try to call him but no answer and every single call end up in voicemail. He asked Jax where he could have been and he said he wasn't aware of his disappearance. Now he got more worry and so does Rafe, but Alec didn't want to scare him so he came up with a lie saying that Magnus had to work and he will be back soon. He asked Jax to keep trying and look for Magnus at the office or at Camille, wherever he had too. He never did stop calling him and left him tons of voicemail but he didn't answered any of it. Surprisingly they are not bothered since Magnus usually did this few times before and end up few days after but he couldn't help but to worry till he fell asleep. 

Alec didn't know when he fell asleep that night but when he woke up he didn't feel well. He felt cold and hot at the same time and his hand hurt even more. He felt heavy as he lifted his head and his hand pricking with pain. As he tried to get up from bed and prepared Rafe for school he felt dizzy and he fell back down on the bed. He feel flushed and his throat dry like a sandpaper.

He tried his best to keep his mind straight but the only thing that he's thinking about is Magnus and he was worried at first but now he's furious. How he wanted to punch Magnus in his face when he sees him. He tried his best to put himself in one piece and went to Rafe's room to wake him up. After few hard tries, he managed to put Rafe in his school clothes promising him that they would do anything he want when he got back from school. Rafe noticed the sickness in Alec's face but Alec kept his smile on until he send him off to Jax for school. Its not the first time Magnus wasn't there when he went to school but this is way rude when he just took off like that unannounced and he could at least leave a note or some for his son for god sake.

Alec waved him goodbye as the car drove away from the driveway, he strode himself back to the kitchen and he felt his gaze getting blurry and his throat dried. He saw Mary was cleaning her way in the kitchen with her back facing him. "M-Mary." He whispered as he took his seat on the island. Mary turned and saw Alec paled as ghost as he fisted his hair in his left hand with his elbow rested on the table. "Alec you're okay?" She went to his side and placed a palm on his forehead and felt how burning hot he is. "Alec I told you, you will get sick, why won't you listen to me? Lets go to the hospital right now!" She pulled Alec hoping he would agreed to her but he felt weaker and his head pounding. "I-I j-just need to lie down. I need something for my hand, its so painful." He winced in pain as he gripped his hand. "Lets get you to bed, you are giving me headache too now." She shook his head while helping Alec to his room.

After she handed him the medication for the pain, he snuggled under the blanket pulling it to his neck. "M-Mary." He called and she hummed as she sat back down next to him. "Did you know where is Magnus?" He asked and she sighed before she answered. "Yeah, he called this morning, said he will be back today." He nodded and sighed in relieved hearing Magnus is alright but part of him wanted to kick him in the nuts for leaving just like that.

Mary wasn't able to focus on her chores that day as she kept checking on Alec. After she left his room she went to clean and prepared for lunch making when she heard shattering sound coming from upstairs. She ran up and rushed towards Alec's room knowing the sound came from there. As she entered she saw the glass by his bed side broke into pieces on the floor and Alec was no where on the bed. When she called, she heard him in the bathroom since its wide open. She entered and saw Alec kneeling by the toilet gagging. "Alec!" She screamed behind him and kneeled next to him while stroking his back.

"That's it I'm sending you to the hospital." She was about to get up and called Jax when Alec pulled her back by her wrist. "No, its fine, I just feel sick in my stomach. Its better now." He lied while he flushed the toilet and went to the sink. He washed his face with his only good hand. He walked back to the bed carefully not stepping on the glasses. Mary didn't think twice but to grab a broom and sweep the glasses away. After she's done, she attend to Alec's side and notice how his body shivers in cold but the fact is he's burning like a kettle.

She went to the bathroom and grab a bowl of water and a small towel before she brings it back to Alec side. She pressed the towel to Alec's forehead and he shivers in coldness. The fact is the water is not that cold and its room temperature but since Alec is burning in fever, the water felt like ice. "M-Mary, s-s-stop." He tried to push her hand away but she pushed back since Alec isn't strong enough to fight her. "You giving me gray hair boy, trust me this would help." She kept pressing more water on the towel and move to Alec's neck. She cursed when Alec passed out in protest. Right now she wished Magnus would be here but he wasn't so she decide to call him to come home quick.

As usual Magnus isn't picking up and she had to get Alec to the hospital but now she couldn't find Jax anywhere. When she called him, she knew Jax is probably picking up Rafe from school since he will be home early today. As she struggled in her mind, she kept pressing on the phone for Magnus and yet again another voicemail. She was about to give up and called an ambulance when she saw Magnus walked in with suitcase in his hand. "Where the hell were you?! Can't you fucking picked up you phone you bastard?!" She cursed yelled at him and for once in Magnus life he heard her cursed and raised her voice. "Hello to you too Mary, sorry my phone is airplane mode, what is it? Oh god is it Rafe?" He asked in worried and dropped his suitcase on the floor. "No you idiot, its Alec." The moment when Magnus heard Alec's name came out from her mouth, his heart dropped and he ran towards Alec's room. He didn't bother knock as he barged in and saw Alec on the bed looking pale and sweats covered his face. His teeth chatters like he has been skinny dipping in a cold and he saw his right hand bandage placed on his chest.

"Alexander." He called but Alec didn't answer. His whole body shivers as Magnus held him in his arm. He felt the burning from his skin and he stroke Alec's wet hair back from his forehead. "Mary called Cat, right now! Called her now!" He commanded and Mary didn't retorted and held the same phone in her hand and dialed Catarina's number.

Magnus kept pressing the cloth on Alec's head and neck as he shudders in coldness. He kept mumbling Magnus' name unaware he was holding him by his side which broke Magnus heart deeply. He knew he shouldn't go and disappear just like that but he had to fix this, he had to fix Alec's broken past. He felt remorse on not telling Alec where he went but he wanted it to be a surprised.

"Alexander, hey, shh, I'm here, I'm here. Come on Alec don't do this to me. What happened?" He asked Mary who stood beside him as he tried to calm Alec shivering down but too no avail. "He hurt himself but he refused to go to hospital and had it stitched, I think he got an infection from it." She answered and Magnus shook his head in disbelief returning his gaze to Alec.

It took Cat about twenty minutes to arrive and surprisingly Jax did the same as Rafe. "Daddy?" He called and ran towards him but noticed Alec's sick in bed made him returned the gesture towards Alec. "Daddy why Alec is cold?" He asked and he wanted to get closer but Magnus grabbed him which he protested and screamed to be put down but Magnus let Cat did what she had too. He carried his son to his room and placed him down on the floor. He tried to run back to Alec's room and pushed his dad away but Magnus held him back.

"Let me go! Daddy I need to see if Alec is okay." He screamed and pushed Magnus hand away as he punched Magnus rock hard chest. "I know, I know baby, but I need to make sure aunty Cat take care of Alec first okay?" He answered but surprisingly Rafe slapped him. He wasn't felt pain as his slap is barely hard but the thought on he did was a surprised to Magnus. But as soon as he did he regretted it and he tried to keep his straight face at Magnus. "You did this! He is sick because of you. He cried every night for you! Where were you daddy?" Magnus was shocked to hear how his six year old son could say something like this and he knew for fact how he hurt Alec for disappearing but he can't explained that now. "Stay here or you'll grounded for a week." He was about to say another word when Magnus raised his finger at him. He crossed his arm around his chest and Magnus closed the door after he left.

Cat did everything she could from stitching up Alec to bring down his fever. After few hours in his room, she finally out and was met by Magnus in the living room sipping through his whiskey. "Really? I should charged you by minute not hour." She said earning Magnus a glared. He finished his drink as he stood and went to her. "How is he?" He asked which earned Cat a stare and tilt her head slightly inspecting Magnus reaction. "Are you sure you care? You didn't seem to be interested in it." She said crossing her arm around her chest. Magnus inhaled a deep breath and exhaled before he looked at her again. He didn't say a word and Cat felt disappointed and honestly, she just enjoyed the show. "He didn't make it any way. Sorry." She said as she walked passed Magnus and poured herself a drink. "What?!" He shouted and before she could react, Magnus already sprinted to Alec's room. She finished her drink and followed suit. She can't wait for this. 

A/N: Sorry for not updating, I'm still tired but I tried to update as much as I could. Hope you guys be patient with me.