I call them my friends
I spend my time with them
I eat lunch with them
I follow them

It's time to go
Wait I forgot something
Hurry up
Wait here for me please
No reply

I come back
Where did they go?

The three of them are going somewhere
Probably to chat about a secret
I follow them
They dismiss me with a flick of their hand
"No not you"

I go to the dark shortcut leading to the cafeteria
It's nice and dark and peaceful
Where I can cry by myself
And vow to be better than them
I don't need them!?

I hear them come back
I wipe away my tears

Gym class
Hey, Amiel I came up with this funny joke
What is it?
I start saying it
"Hey Julia get first base"
"Anika I'm pitching first next time"

I walk away
If he asks me to recount my joke I'll say
"Screw off maybe listen next time"

He never does ask
He doesn't care
I doubt we're friends

Hey, let's have our first best friend fight
Cuz all best friends have fights

say I hate you
I hate you
He says I'm sorry
Then pats me on the back
We've had our first best friend fight
We were never best friends
What are you talking about of course we are

I think about how my friends that are girls (he's the guy friend I hang out with) and him
How they always leave me
How they exclude me

He's kind of weird
The popular kids pick on him
Sometimes I feel like he has this notion that he has so few friends

...

There's one right next to you
You push her away
You say "oh not you"
You exclude her
With other friends around you ignore her

And then you wonder?

She would reach out to anybody willing to be her friend
She has no real ones
She wouldn't betray you like those other friends that you ignore her for
She wouldn't make fun of you
She defends you when people make rude comments behind your back
Wouldn't that be the perfect friend?

No
You push me away
I'm always the third wheel
So therefore I can't call you my best friend
If you don't treat me like one
When I've shed tears over being ignored and excluded by you
You've caused me pain

To Amiel
If you ever see this
You know how I feel now?