An unidentified feeling crawled underneath my skin as I stood outside of my parents house waiting for Francesco to pick me up. I was feeling guilty about what I was about to do, but I wouldn't admit to that until the roaring sound of Francescos motorbike overtook the silence of the neighborhood.

"Are you ready?" He said, with his smile brimming in the early sunshine.

"To get on that thing?" I frowned. "No thank you."

"Why not?" Francesco said, a spare helmet already tucked underneath his arm.

"I told you how I felt about motorbikes, they're death machines."

Francesco looks at me amused. "Well, how else are we going to get to where we are going?"

"The subway?" I shrugged. He chuckled at my words. "Maya I am perfectly capable of taking you with me on this deathmachine. Don't you trust me?"

"I do, it's just..." Francesco's raised brow was taunting. "Fine." I sighed, throwing one leg over the bike. "But if you kill me, I'll kill you, you hear?"

"Deal." he laughed and handed me my helmet.

With the sudden vibration erupting beneath us we were off to god knows where.

After forty minutes of watching autumn colored landscapes pass us by, we finally stopped at a gas station for a break. I kissed the ground thankfully, clinging on to whatever would prevent the earth around me to move as fast as it had done when I sat behind Francesco on that bike.

"Were you afraid?" Francesco asked, seeing how I steadied myself unevenly, still not used to the firmness of the ground.

"No." I snorted. "Were you?"

"A little." He chuckled. " I thought your arms around me might break a rib. You were holding on so tight."

"I was not!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, but you were."

"Whatever." I turned around. "Where are we anyway, where are you taking me?" Apart from this self managed gas station there was no longer any civilization in sight. Whether you looked to your left or to your right the land around us was just that, land, with no community of houses or city skylines in sight.

"It's a surprise." He said, removing the gasoline hose from the bike.

"A surprise?" I said with interest as I turned back around to face him.

"Yes. So we better get a move on if we want to save us some daylight."

"Right." I nod, but before I get to mount the bike his arm on my wrist prevents me from taking another step. "What?" I said, batting my lashes. My cheeks felt flustered by his sudden touch. His eyes revealed the desire to kiss me before he took the action in doing so. I kissed him back wishfully, hoping for this moment to be more real than it was, that we could actually be together like this.

Back on the bike the cropless landscapes once again flashed before our covered eyes. Behind my visor I looked to the back of the man I was faithfully clinging on to, admiring his macaroni locks sprouting out the back of his helmet.

As the landscape split itself in front of us with the sun set high up in the sky, a green valley appeared. It looked polished compared to its surrounding nature, untouched by the autumn leaves, the last traces of summer still flowering in its green grass. Beyond its hidden figures a stream of water appeared, snaking itself along the dusted road that we were on. Following the stream we finally arrived at our sought out destination, a blue colored lake, refilling itself by the waterfall flowing at its ends.

"Where are we?" I gasped as I dismounted the bike and removed my helmet.

"It's beautiful, no?"

"How did you even find this place?" I wondered, considering that Francesco was a foreigner and not even I knew about this place.

"It was during one of my rides with a Semeuse bike that I came across this place. The water is cold this time of the year but perhaps we could go for a shorter swim?"

"Come again?" I frown. Francesco meets my puzzled expression with a half hearted smirk.

"You want us to take a swim in these cold waters? I say no way."

"Why not? We'll be in and out quicker than you know. It will feel nice."

"Francesco." I chuckled. "I am not getting into that water with you and besides I didn't even bring a bathing suit."

Folding his striped leather jacket, he lets it rest on the seat of the bike along with his helmet. "Suit yourself." He said, and before I could bat my lashes in surprise, Francesco began undressing himself.

Flustered, I watch him unbuckle his belt with no sign of being embarrassed. I felt the need to protest once his pants slid down his naked legs and onto the ground. "You can't be serious?" I said, with my mouth slightly open. I close my eyes, once he grips the hem of his underwear. All of my surroundings go dark. I was now aware that Francesco stood fully naked not too far away from me.

"You won't regret it?" His voice huttured somewhere ahead of me. Only when I heard his steps descend onto the tall grass, did I dare to open my eyes, successfully catching a glimpse of his nude figure making its way towards the cold waters. It was like being back in that damn closet.

The air around us was cold, so it's definitely worse in the water. Nevertheless, Francesco's body disappears as he dives in head first.

"Come on Maya, the water is nice." He shouts towards the beach where I am sitting. I wave his words away but sit back and admire the view over the lake. The feeling was simply thrilling being with a guy like Francesco. Even though I wasn't naked I felt exposed in his presence, like there was no point in hiding my sins and shortcomings. He was a sinner himself and didn't seem to let it bother him, like striving for perfection was something that would disturbed his character.

I don't have to close my eyes watching him get out of the water, because the sun was already in my eyes. In all confidence he walks past me but soon returns with a towel wrapped around his waist. We sat together on the beach.

"If you would have told me where we were going I could have brought my bathing suit," I said, after a moment of silence.

"I know." He said nonchalantly. "I just wanted to see how brave you were." His hands are cold tracing my upper arm. "I told you that I've imagined what your wet skin would look like drying in the sun." My eyes wander as I come to the realization. This is the place, this is the place that he would take me on a date. I am stupid enough to ask. "Is this a date?"

His fingers stop caressing my skin "It can be if you want it to."

My head drops as the guilt wash over me. "We should go back." I said, my words almost inaudible.

Francesco sirs beside me. "Why? Is everything alright?"

"I just think you should take me back. You're leaving soon and since we're already interested in other people, I think that we should...."

"Wow, wow..." He stops my mouth from spilling another word. "Maya you're not making any sense." He laughs.

"It's not funny." I pout.

Throwing an arm around me he leans in and whispers, "Tell me who these other people that we are interested in are?" His lips tickle my ear and I quiver. "Devon." I said, shrugging myself out of his grip, rising to my feet ."I've got Devon now and you like Sophie."

"Is that so?"

"And when are you leaving for South America anyway?" I snorted.

"One week from now." He said without hesitation. "I'll be long gone for you to forget that this ever happened."

"If that's what you want." I said, hugging myself tightly.

"It would be easier that way, for us to pretend, maybe then you could learn to just enjoy this moment together, to go swimming with me."

"Would you shut up about swimming?"

"Not until you do it."

"Or what, you won't take me home?"

His silence speaks for himself, he stands between me and the Ducati motorbike.

I feel a world collapsing around me. "We're sinners, you know that right. This, you and me, what we have done is wrong, it's toxicity at its finest." There is a spring of hope and comfort when he approaches me. His touch is gentle across my face, his hands tracing the contours of what makes me feel so imperfect.

"Then let the devil take us alive." He smiles. We share a kiss.

The water is cold around my ankles. Luckily Francesco protects the rest of my body by carrying me out into the lake. We remain intertwined arriving at the deep ends, our naked bodies pressed against one another. The waterfall poured down somewhere behind us, but I couldn't care to take my eyes off the green ones staring back at me with desire. His hands slid down my wet back, regripping my thighs before bouncing me further up his stomach. I feel his erection rise below me, holding me in this position he can almost enter me. My lips go to latch themselves onto his neck, sucking on his sensitive skin. The grip around me loosens. "Fuck." I moan, feeling his flesh enter me.

"We feel so good together." He said, lips pressed against my hair. The water makes waves around us as we move up and down, clinging onto eachters. Desperately I try to bring him further into me, as deep as possible. "Francesco" I moan. "Maya." He answers me. And before I reach the stars, there is no sense, the world is making no sense. There is no sense for me to be here with Francesco, in his arms, loving him. But I am and I do love him.

The world comes back to me quickly and as the light from the stars goes out all of my heated senses cool down, or was it just the waters? We wade towards land and help each other dry off quickly so that we won't catch a cold.

"Do you want to head back?"

"The sun is still up." I said, tilting my head. "Let's rest here before we go."

Francesco laid out the towel for us to sit on. I rest my head against his lap and soon fall asleep to the soothing sounds of nature and the feeling of his fingers running through my hair. I am forgetful, forgetful about the day and forgetful about my sins.

******

Francesco drops me off at the corner to my parents house to not wake the whole neighborhood up with the roaring sounds from the bike. Making my way up the driveway, butterflies still linger in my stomach. It had been a date after all. There had been a late dinner at a diner somewhere along the road. And after scoping out the tourist shops in this little town we came across, Francesco took the long way home, allowing me to cling onto him whilst the night skies set itself across the dark heavens above us.

It was all a dream. A dream soon snapped back into reality as a hidden figure had me freeze on my way up the driveway. My initial thoughts were of a fox lingering at the steps to the front door, but then the fox moved at the sight of me and the little figure grew into a full figure, a man.

"Devon?" I half gasped, half groaned. His sad eyes were what had mistaken me for a fox, they had met mine through the dark and once the front porch lit up automatically, our faces I could see the hurt expression in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Don't even bother explaining." He said, rising to his feet and pushing past me.

"Devon, where are you going?" I grab his arm but he quickly janks mine away. "I said don't even bother! I heard the motorbike dropping you off at the corner."

I am glued to the pavement and for a second I return to the dream, this time it is a nightmare. The kind of nightmare where you can't run or fight, where you have no voice and you can't scream.

"Devon please wait!" The sheer desperation in my voice is what must have gotten him to turn around. He gave me a look that dared me to try and explain myself.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

I am surprised to see his lips shape into a smile, a smile that could only be interpreted as evil. Unrecognizable on someone like Devon, but common on someone like Francesco.

"It's funny." He chuckled.

"What's funny?" I mumbled, slowly but surely finding the traces of my voice.

"I knew it would be him. The first time I met you guys at the bar, I told myself not to judge since I didn't know either of you that well. Somehow I knew there was a spark. I must have just been someone for you to play with."

His last words cut deep. "Devon, that's not true, you don't understand, you're too good for me."

"Because you like bad boys right? How original." He snorted.

I bow my head and I let the shame wash over me, I deserved this feeling, I thought. Even Devon must have felt for me at this moment because his next words come out with more caution.

"I told people that you were my girl Maya. Was that that stupid of me?"

I shook my head "No."

"We should have waited. I knew we should have taken things slow with the intimacy, it scared you away."

"Devon stop." My feet moved fast towards him as I watched him beat himself up. "Stop, this is not your fault."

"My fault?" He said appalled, looking down on me to make sure that my outstretched arm neither touched him or made the attempt of touching him. "Maya you are the devil. Nothing good could have come out of this and in the back of my mind I knew this. Still I allowed your friend to set me up on a date with you. I was tempted by forbidden fruit." As his anger was replaced with sorrow, the fox returned. "I should have been content with watching you from afar."

"Devon please wait!" I should have allowed him to go, spared him the pain of my next words, but once again I decided to be the devil.

"What?" He said, a trace of hope still lingering in his voice. I squandered that hope by making him promise not to tell anyone about this, to keep the beloved secret that was Francesco and I. Shattering Devon's heart that night couldn't help me to see what I had become. How blind I had become.