I am over this pregnancy thing.

Who knew it was possible to pee ten times in a couple of hours!

I felt like a tortoise on its back when I got up in the morning. Needing my husband's help to get out of bed.

Whilst Negan pulled me out from under the covers one morning, he chuckled, watching me make my way to the bathroom. "Holy shit, Rackel! I've never found a waddle so sexy, my own fucking Daisy Duck."

I flipped him the bird as I plonked my weight from one foot to the other. My feet were blown up like beach balls. I was beyond over it.

Thirty seven weeks, and two bouncing babies on my bladder made for a pretty terrible time!

Bottom bubba kicked me in the back, making me jerk forward. I clasped my alien belly, rubbing softly.

Enough now, little one!

I eased myself on the toilet seat, tired whine escaping my lips. "I don't know how much more of this I can handle, Negan."

"We're almost there, Daisy!" He chuckled at my newfound nickname, resting his hip on the sink opposite me. "At least you're not vomiting everyday. You got me worried with that shit!"

My head spun at the memory. "We don't need to go there again! Sweet, gentle baby Jesus."

"I think you should take the day off today. You're in no condition to work!" My sweet husband leaned forward, tucking a curl behind my ear.

Wiping my forehead with the back of my hand, I let out a shaky breath. "I just need a shower and breakfast!"

As I looked up, Negan's head began shaking side to side. But I wasn't having it!

"I can't stay cooped up here! It's not like anyone would let me overwork myself anyway!" I lovingly swatted at my man's broad chest. "I've got my appointment with Carson at 12:00pm anyway."

"Hopefully we find out what our babies are today. I'm bursting at the fuckin' seams with excitement!" He rubbed his hands together, his teeth sparkling as the edges of his mouth almost reached his ears.

I couldn't help but smile back as I finished my morning routine. Planting a swift kiss on his strong jaw I whispered, "see you at noon, my love."

Lightly tapping me on the ass, he chuckled. "Wouldn't miss it for the fucking world."

As I made my way down to the kitchen, something felt off. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt a flutter, as if my little ones could feel it too. The kitchen had all the usual crew, smiling as they got ready for the day. It seemed like any other morning.

But then it hit me.

One of the kitchen hands dragged in a freshly caught and killed deer. The copper smell hit my nose, concocting a mixture of guilt and nausea in my stomach. Holding onto the bench, I breathed deeply, only through my mouth.

Anita, the head cook, rushed over to me and curled her arm around my shoulders. "Don't you go fainting on me princess! Couldn't imagine boss-man's face if that happened on my watch!"

Tears pricked my eyes. Unwelcome nostalgia hitting me like a freight train.

Is he alive?

Is he okay?

It had been months, and not even a whisper.

I did say some pretty shitty things to him. After all he did for me.

"Sorry." I manage between breaths. "I'll sit for a minute! I'll be alright, truly!" Rubbing Anita's arm for reassurance, I sat on the stool next to the food stores.

She handed me a cup of water. "Not a chance, girly! You're not endangering yourself or those miracles on my watch."

I can't do nothing. It'll drive me crazy!

But she wasn't backing down. Mother hen had come out ever since I'd returned, and usually I was thankful for it.

But, not today.

I couldn't think of Daryl.

"Please, Anita! I'm begging you!" The hormonal tears broke my already wavering calm. "I'll just sit and chop vegetables! Just don't make me go."

She shook her head as she picked up the kitchen's walkie.

Please don't call Negan!

She pressed the button and my stomach churned. "Skye? Skye are you there?"

My heart jumped at her name! It would be good to spend the morning with my step daughter. Not that Negan had told her as such.

Skye's signature shrill voice rang through the speaker. "Is she okay? I'm coming down!"

"She's fine! Just a little green at the gills." The middle-aged woman gently rubs my back.

"I'll be right down!" The walkie went dead as I mouthed a thank you to the saviour.

I heard Skye before I saw her. Whistling as she skipped all the way to me. She belonged in a freakin Disney movie, surrounded by woodland creatures. She took me in, giving me a large bear hug, surprisingly firm for her svelte frame. "Are you okay Rackel? Should I get Negan?"

"No, no! It's all good, just the smell of the deer set me off." I tried to form my face into a smile.

And the thought of my ex-lover...

She rose a delicate brow at me, looking around her before leaning in and whispering, "cut the shit, sweetie! What's really up?"

I looked across the room, watching the boy skilfully break down the deceased beast. My throat swelled, choking on his name. "Daryl..."

Her brows stitched together, eyes full of empathy. Not one single shred of judgement. "I'm sorry, Rackel. I couldn't imagine how hard this is for you."

I tried in vain to swallow back the tears. The saline making a pitter-patter sound as they hit the metal bench. "It's not your fault! I couldn't make it easy could I?"

The beautiful girl handed me a handkerchief, . "Oh honey! How were you to know? But, don't think about that right now! You're gonna find out the gender of these monkeys today." She placed a delicate hand on my belly. One of the twins seemed to kick in response.

I laughed, tears still in full swing. "They're going to love their big sister." The words cascaded from my mouth, swept up in the moment.

Did I just say that? After all this fucking time?

My mouth sat agape as I looked at the girl.

Her lip turned in the same way her father's did. When he was feeling particularly smug.

"I know Rackel." She held my hand, giggling at me.

Thank God!

"I've known for a while now!" She squares her shoulders, turning her head upward. "I just know he's not particularly good with that kind of thing. He was always a father figure to me anyway!"

I was a blubbering mess. Skye was from another planet! Always putting the needs of others before her own. I pulled her in for a hug, drenching her with my waterworks. "I freaking love you, baby girl! I'm so glad you know!"

She gently shoved me away. "Don't do that! You'll start me off in a minute!"

We sat there for the longest time, smiling at how much closer this revelation had brought us. We could be a family, no more stupid secrets.