For one moment, I feel so happy,

But the second time the moment comes, I just want to flip a table and fall to the ground...

And I don't even know why.

I wonder if my family or friends will even look at my gallery and see all this

Or maybe not.

I know you guys told me to tell my family about my... depression, and I did. I told my mom one day, I lied there in bed, seeing my mom cry about something, and told her.

That's when it made things worse.

But that was long ago before the second time it happened and asked you guys if I should tell her. And I don't want to do it again.

And I know telling you guys won't exactly help, just like someone told me, and you know who you are. I can tell you're reading this, you just won't admit it.

But even though it won't help here, I'd rather just have it all out and listening to all of your opinions rather than keeping them all in a bottle.

That's why I literally stay in bed and attempt in falling asleep, no matter what time it is.

And my mom's friend (who I mentioned in my recent chapter) even told my mom how I stay here in the bedroom in bed, expecting that I'm not doing anything, not even realizing what I'm going through.

She says that I should "go out more" or "watch tv", but why tf will I even watch TV? I'm not even f*cking allowed to when their children or father is f*cking playing video games.

And going out? Pshhhh, it's f*cking 100 degrees outside so expect me to faint or melt in the heat mtherfcker

TBH, I just want to slap my mom's friend's face and give some sense into them, making sure her senses are working because she has no f*cking idea.

Btw, I keep wondering what would even happen when I commit suicide and make a suicide note and show it to all the fakers and haters who became jerks to me, and see they're mtherfckin reactions