17/2/20

I'm still getting used to putting 20 at the end of that date 😅

Hey, Cherry here. Got a new crush, but also have a new story

Trigger warning: self harm

Hey, story time I guess?

Just over 2 years ago was the second time my parents found out about my self harm. The first time was in 2017

I can't remember the exact date, but I remember it was a Sunday in February in 2018. Meaning it was either the 4th, 11th, 18th or 25th of February.

It's funny how it was the Sunday and not the Saturday. Because on Saturday, I had swimming, and my mum had come to get me from the pool, where my cuts were all visible because I don't wear long sleeved swimming costumes.

So, on the Sunday, I was washing my hair at home. Our bathroom door doesn't have a lock (even if it did, it's unlikely that I'd lock it). So I was washing my hair, and I have shampoo on my face. When I'm washing my face, my mum came in. And I did not know.

So she saw them then. She told me to get out of the shower, dry myself, brought me to my room, called my dad and had a chat. So I sat on the bed, still wrapped in my towel, just crying, and they were shouting at me

I hated that conversation with them so much. For many reasons:
1. my sister was 5 at the time. And she was in the room when we were talking. She had to see her role model having a breakdown, our parents shouting at me, and my arms covered in cuts. A five year old
2. My parents were saying that I have a good life and shouldn't do stuff like that. That I had no reason to hurt myself
3. I remember, they asked me why I did it, and there were so many answers I could have gone with, but I said that I get jealous, which is still a significant reason as to why I sometimes hurt myself. They asked me, who'd you get jealous of, and I named a few friends of mine. My parents just told me to stop playing with them. Simple as that. EXCUSE ME, but they were the ones actually keeping my sane
4. My sister exposing me. After my parents left me, I heard my sister telling them that she saw my hurting myself, which she had. I was in my study room, opening healing cuts with a needle, and i guess she saw and told them 

That, is why I do not trust my parents anymore. Because when I did tell them, they just... I don't really know. Now, it feels like they overlooked my problem then. If i tell them anything about how I feel now, it's more likely to be when I'm in a state of rage and am screaming at them.

Yeah, so that was fun

And that was over 2 years ago