24/10/19

Ok, this is really just going to be a rant, well, two rants, so no need to read it

Warning: Spoilers to Citrus

Ok, so, Citrus is about two girls of totally different backgrounds with totally different personalities, becoming step sisters and falling in love with each other.

A lot of people say that it's a disgusting anime because they are stepsisters and it's a relationship involving incest.

I just want to say that i don't think so, as they are stepsisters and not sisters or half sisters. They aren't blood related in any way. If they weren't stepsisters, it would be fine, no? Just forget that they are step sisters. I literally searched it up

And it says that it's fine to marry your step sibling, and that it's not incest, BECAUSE THEY ARENT BLOOD RELATED.

YUZU AND MEI, ARENT BLOOD RELATED

sorry if that's violent.

Anygays, second rant

I spent 3 hours watching the first 6 eps of Citrus non-stop. From 11pm to 1pm the next day. It just reminds me majorly about my time liking my boyfriend, before he liked me back.

I don't really remember when I started liking him. Mostly because I kept making excuses for my feelings. I was the kind who got jealous a lot when others spent time around him (luckily not anymore, phew!) Instead of just admitting that I was jealous and wanted to be near him, I claimed that I was overprotective and that I didn't want anyone to hurt him. I remember just wanting to be near him and missing him, and I simply claimed that it was because I really liked his company and I wanted to talk more. I made up excuses for every sign I should have taken as me liking him.

I ended up falling for my best friend, hard. And I would not accept it. I'd cry about it, write about it in my diary, I may or may not have even purposely hurt myself because of it. I hated myself because of it. I'd fallen for my best friend (who identified as a girl back then, and I was internally homophobic too, but I've already made a chapter or two on that). It became common to write "best friends" and "sisters" on cards we have each other, and I was rather disheartened because it made me think that that was all we'd ever be. I'd fallen for the person who I saw as my sibling.

Very much like Yuzu and Mei falling for each other. Especially Yuzu, whose point of view we are shown throughout the series. It started with Mei kissing Yuzu to shut her up one night, and that led to so much. I remember reading the manga, and almost crying because of how much I related to the thoughts Yuzu had. Again, just wanting to be near that person, wanting to touch their hair, wanting to kiss them. Yuzu had all those thoughts, and I felt terrible because I had the exact same ones (I'm not creepy, leave me alone). We both thought of ourselves as disgusting because we liked a sibling like person.

Just watching the anime brought back memories and thoughts, that's all 😅

Ok, rant over.