You know, it would be nice to have actual friends.

You know, the ones that would like to hang out with you. Ones that I can count on. (Irl that is.)

It would also be nice if I didn't have to sit around at home almost everyday for pretty much the whole summer still band camp starts.

I wish it was last summer... I miss my old friends... I miss the fun I remember having.

Right now... in not having fun anymore.

Reason why I haven't been on much, it feels like torture just to be on here.

I'm not saying I'm leaving for anything. I'm saying that, I look at things and I see my old friends on here that won't talk to me or don't talk to me anymore and it makes me feel sad and alone, just like in real life. I always feel sad and alone. I have no real friends, I'm also put last, I lose people, I'm used, I'm not invited to anything. I honestly feel like I'm no use to the real life world anymore.

I see everybody having fun and it may seem like I am too but in all honesty, I'm really not. I feel broken, I feel lost, forgotten. I don't know why but I do, and I can't help but feel like that.

I know I made a rant book for this kind of stuff but I didn't feel like putting it in there because I know not everybody reads it.

To me, it makes me feel at least a little bit better to tell people about how I feel instead of just writing it down.