After they left, Devin got home to find an almost empty house. The door was locked, but the Michaels' hit the key underneath the ceramic cat their mom had had for years. He lifted it carefully, and used it to get into the house, then placed it back underneath.

"Hello?" Devin called out, expecting to find no one home. That was almost a relief. But then he heard a response coming from the living room.

He jumped at the voice, but relaxed, and calmed himself down before walking into the living room.

He almost felt better after talking to Klaus, and like he had someone he could trust whole-heartedly.

He had Michael... but, it didn't feel like that, which made Devin's stomach twist from guilt. But he tried to let it go.

He saw Clement sitting on the couch, watching something on his lap top that was sitting on his stomach.

"Hey Clement," Devin spoke, walking towards him. Clement looked to see Devin approach him, and sit on the hardwood floor besides the couch, looking at his computer. "Whatcha watching?"

Devin looked over to Clement's computer, trying to see what he was watching.

Clement slammed the top shut, quickly, before Devin could see what was on the screen. "I'm not watching anything," he said, blushing a bit. "I was... reading," he looked away from Devin, completely flushed.

"Ohohoho, smut?" Devin asked, cocking an eyebrow towards Clement.

"No! I-I..." Clement said, face completely burning at his cheeks, and ears.

"Oooo I won't judge you," Devin said, grabbing at his computer.

"Devin! No, stop that!" Clement said, grabbing back at the computer pulling it away from him, making sure to keep him from looking at the stuff he had been looking at.

"Fine, fine," Devin said, letting go. He only felt a tiny bit of defeat.

They sat in a bit of silence before Clement spoke again. "Hey Devin?" He asked, whispering a bit. His words felt fragile as Devin heard them, and could sense that whatever he was gonna say next wasn't gonna be lighthearted.

He spoke again. "What happened last night?"

Devin cringed at the words he knew he was gonna, but didn't want to, hear. "What do you mean?" Devin asked, looking over at Clement's state. He kept a straight face, while Devin gave him a smile to try and cover up what he was actually feeling.

"Devin, don't play dumb. What has Michael done to you? Has he hurt you or something? You were so scared to see him." Clement said, before leaning on his elbows, sitting up on the couch, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"I... no! Of course Michael hasn't hurt me! I just... didn't want him to see me like that, alright?"

Clement sat in a long period of silence before nodding slowly.

"And... What really happened with your parents? And between you and Michael. And your... wrists. I have seen them, Devin. And I probably shouldn't... ya know, bring it up, but what made you do that." Clement sat up, and moved his legs over to the couch, facing his body towards Devin.

Clement's face twisted with genuine concern, making Devin's stomach flip. It reminded him of the way Klaus had looked at him before.

He pushed that thought away, and looked back at him. "I- I don't know, I just haven't felt the best," Devin said, giving him a slight smile.

"But... are you feeling better?" Clement asked, looking at him, with a very, very serious look. He squinted his eyes, ready to catch a lie in the midst of being said.

"I'm... fine," Devin said, cutting off his eye contact with Clement. He couldn't break under his persuasive stare, or his perseverance. He didn't want to crack in front of anyone again.

"Too—"

"Hey, where's Michael?" Devin said, getting up from the floor, looking around the house, wanting to see Michael's familiar face.

"Oh, he's with Matteo, Léo, uhh, Nikolai, Wilhelm, Ricky, and... Lila?" Clement answered, a bit upset that he had been cut off, but let it go. It was way too obvious that Devin didn't want to tell him what was on his mind. The first four were all a part of the players on the team, and Ricky and Lila were both team managers.

"Oh? What are they doing?"

"Uh, playing volleyball? Going out for dinner? I don't really know," Clement said.

***

In fact, he wasn't entirely wrong, but they weren't playing volleyball (although, they were planning on going out to eat later, plus Matteo and Léo couldn't make it since they had other things to do).

"Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight, y'all are actually dating?" Lila asked, staring at Michael completely dumbfounded.

"Yeah, they have been," Nikolai said, leaning on Wilhelm, his face in his back, voice muffled by Wilhelm's jacket. Wilhelm accepted his fate of having a tired Nikolai holding onto him, and stopped trying to pull him off.

The two, much to the entries team surprise, and annoyance, weren't dating, despite their obvious feelings. But everyone was gonna let them figure it out themselves.

"Yes, you really thought we weren't dating?" Michael said, almost as confused as Lila was.

"Well, no, I thought Devin was just joking, or some shit he does, you don't act like it, ya know," Lila said, folding her arms, and giving Michael her iconic pissed look. She had a fiery personality, one that wasn't always the best for a team manager position, but she was there whenever the boys needed her. She had clicked with them, always ready to come to their defense when she needed it. And, her partner, Ricky, also had found how to calm the storm she carried in her, when she needed it calmed.

"Well, yes, we actually are dating," Michael says, "and I wanted to tell you guys about... something, cause I'm so fucking lost," he felt a bit embarrassed, asking for help, but he had no one else to turn to. Especially Devin.

"What is it?" Ricky asked, keeping a close eye on Lila. She was also painfully oblivious to the sexual tension between the two of them.

"Well, Devin... he's—"

"Awe, you have a picture of you two in the back of your phone case," Nikolai piped in, a bit sarcastically, although he did think it was kind of bittersweet. He was always so bittersweet about things when it came to Devin and Michael's relationship. And any other time, he was so melancholy.

Michael's ears turned a light shade of pink. "Well... anyways, Devin hasn't been in a great spot... and I'll spare the details since he won't want me saying anything, but I don't know how to help him," Michael said, adding, "but he has... hurt himself. He is hurting himself,"

Michael quietly looked around the group to see everyone's faces grow pale.

"Like... like, suicidal hurting...?" Wilhelm asked, feeling his stomach jump to his throat. His body tensed. It brought back memories from his own past experiences. He felt Nikolai tense for the same reason.

"Yes." Michael said. It felt a bit wrong, bringing this up without Devin here, but he knew that Devin trusted each one of these individuals so much, and would have them promise they wouldn't say anything about it to him, ever.

"Oh," Ricky said, looking at the ground, and at her feet. She was normally good with emotions, and kept everything copacetic, but this. This was a whole new ball park.

Nikolai kept his forehead pressed against Wilhelm's back, and grabbed Wilhelm's hand, squeezing it tightly. Wilhelm felt the clamminess of them.

Wilhelm squeezed back, looking over to Michael. He turned his body slightly so he could make eye contact with Nikolai, so he could mouth to him 'can I?'

Nikolai nodded his head, quickly burying it back to where it was, against Wilhelm's back.

Wilhelm took a breath before beginning to speak.

"Nikolai... used to be like that. Like, he wasn't gonna kill himself... but he had hurt himself before... I somehow helped him to stop, and he hasn't been bad, recently. I don't know what's going on with Devin, but just... being there for him during panic attacks, or when he's happy, or mad, like... I'm not good at talking, but just being there for him will help a lot." Wilhelm spoke, shakily, as Nikolai poked at Wilhelm a bit, giving him a look. Wilhelm didn't exactly understand what it meant, it was kind of like a 'god why did I let you do that, it sounds awful out loud' and a 'thank you for doing that for me.' look.

Wilhelm turned back around, but not before giving Nikolai a small smile.

"Wait... Nikolai too?" Ricky asked, completely surprised. She would've never guessed.

Nikolai nodded into Wilhelm's back. "It was a while ago, I guess. And it wasn't that bad... I was just punching my thighs..."

"'Wasn't that bad'?!" Wilhelm asked, a bit too loud.

Nikolai looked away from him.

"He broke the skin, once, and that's when I noticed. We were practicing volleyball, and I accidentally hit the ball towards him too hard, and it hit his thigh. I noticed the blood, and he told me it was nothing, and cleaned it up. I asked him, and he just showed me the bruises.

"It took him a while to open up, though, and he's gotten better," Wilhelm said, reassuring everyone. "But, Devin, is he..."

"He's... he has cut himself... and tried to overdose once," Michael said, looking across everyone's faces.

They all seemed to go just a bit paler.

"Jesus, and he doesn't come to us. He can come talk to us whenever he needs to," Lila stalked, a bit of anger etching into her voice. Devin was always there for them, why couldn't he go to them in return? Did he not trust them?

"Lila, stop, you don't know what he's upset about. Maybe he couldn't have come to us," Ricky said, trying to sooth her but also get her to stop. She jumped to conclusions, although having the best intentions most of the time

"I'm sorry, I just wouldn't care what it was. He's our captain, and friend, I won't let him take shit from other people. He should know he can talk to us." Lila said, getting a bit defensive. Her words were laced with emotion, and her words broke a bit.

Ricky only shook her head yes, agreeing with Lila.

"But, he couldn't even come to me, and I want him to know he can," Michael said, although agreeing with them, trying to probe for information on how to achieve his end goal of helping Devin.

"Well, have you tried telling him you're there, or something?" Nikolai asked, looking at him, still hanging on behind Wilhelm.

He didn't know if either of them realized it, but they were still holding hands.

"Well, the night I found him... I kept telling him he could come to me, and all that. And I stayed with him till his parents came, and he's now staying with me. I still feel that he doesn't... like, tell me everything that's bothering him, and he's still not getting better. But I don't know what to do about it!" Michael said, leaning against the post of the volleyball net.

They all stayed in silence, waiting for one of them to speak up first.

"Where is he now?" Nikolai asked.

"Uh... either out with Klaus, or at my house." Michael shrugged.

"Well... maybe you should bring him somewhere he feels safe, and you can just talk to him?" Wilhelm suggested. Although Michael had felt he had already done that, thinking back to their past interactions, it wasn't anything like that.

It was almost forceful in a way, and made Michael feel bad.

"Yeah, that's probably the best way to go about it," Michael agreed.

"I... I have a question," Nikolai said, before resting his chin on Wilhelm's shoulder, having to put some of his weight on his toes to get a bit taller.

"Mmm?" Michael asked, a bit more relaxed.

"What happened that caused him to do that? Like, is it someone, or his parents, or himself?" Nikolai asked, then felt a bit ashamed for asking that. He stood down, "sorry, I shouldn't have asked that,"

"Wow, Nikolai, this really isn't like you," Wilhelm said, looking over his shoulder at the boy. Nikolai shot him a glare, telling him to shut the fuck up. He did and turned back to the group.

"Nikolai, it's fine, his parents just aren't the best, and they weren't ever there for him... and I really wasn't either, so I'm trying to get better about that," Michael said, looking from each of their faces.

"Oh," Nikolai said. No one else responded, and all took it in.

"What about you?"

"What?"

"What happened that made you..."

"Oh... it's not that important, anyway, I was just tired of myself,"

Michael nodded, and noticed that Wilhelm squeezed his hand. The reassurance in his touch made Nikolai sigh. It wasn't a sigh of being done, but a sigh of relief, almost.

"You should probably get back?" Nikolai said to him, "and... can you text me later? Like, to tell me he's okay? He hasn't been responding to any of our texts," Nikolai said. It almost amazed Michael how tired his voice could sound, even on the volleyball court.

"Yeah, well, I could tell him to text you back,"

"Okay, thanks Michael ," Nikolai said, giving him a slight smile.

"Yeah,"

Ricky stood, almost observing the conversation. It was making her a bit mad that Devin hadn't come to them for support, but let it go. She knew that she probably wasn't the best choice anyway. Always angry, always upset. She half hated herself for that.

"Oh... and I would take all that stuff away, like sharp objects and medicine and things, but don't make it obvious," Lila said, grabbing Michael's shoulder as he went to walk away.

Michael nodded, almost blankly, looking towards Lila. "That's a good idea," he sighed, looking over at her again.

"Good luck," Ricky shrugged, although trying to be nice, her voice still sounded mad.

Michael couldn't help but laugh a bit, looking back at Ricky. "Thank you. You guys too,"

They all said their goodbyes, and Michael got home much faster than he probably ever has wanted too.

When he opened the door, he found Clement sitting on the couch (still).

"Hey, where's Devin?" Michael asked, while he approached his brother.

"Oh, uh, up in your room, I think," Clement said, not looking up from the computer screen.

"You'll ruin your eye, dumbass," Michael said, before leaving the room. He was too far out of ear shot to hear whatever his brother retorted back to him, having taken the stairs two at a time, to hear his response.

He walked to his room, opening the door to find Devin laying on his bed, facing the wall. He was laying on top of the covers, and holding onto one of Michael's pillows.

Michael slightly smiled at him, and placed his coat on the back of his desk chair.

He looked back at Devin, seeing that he still had his own.

Is he cold? He could have gotten under the blankets if he was a cold, dumbass. Michael shook his head, walking back over to the sleeping Devin. He tugged at Devin's coat, gently taking it off of him.

There was a groan of displeasure, as the cold air of the room surrounded him, and he said "Michael! I'm cold," He emphasized on the 'cold'.

"Then get under the covers dumbass," Michael said, looking down at him.

He groaned before saying, "I didn't want you to get mad at me,"

Michael stood for a second, thinking over what he said. "Why... why would I get mad at you?" He asked, eyebrows knit together.

Devin just shrugged in response.

Michael walked over to place Devin's coat on top of his, but the weight pulled the two jackets off the desk.

He bent over to pick them up, feeling a piece of paper in Devin's coat pocket. He pulled it out, then placed the two jackets on the desk this time, so they wouldn't fall over again.

Devin didn't notice that Michael pulled the small piece of paper from his pocket, and was getting comfortable underneath the blankets.

He unfolded the paper, a bit curious to see what was on it. He stared at it, confused for a hot minute. It was a string of numbers, and then a heart, and a name.

'Masato'.

"Hey Devin?" Michael asked, confused as to why this was in his pocket.

"Mm?"

"What's this?" Michael asked, holding the paper out towards Devin so he could see what it was.

Looking at it, Devin didn't seem to be surprised about what Michael was holding, which made Michael feel a bit better about it.

"Just this... girl at the cafe gave it to me," Devin sighed, turning back around in bed. "I guess I forgot it was in there,"

Devin's voice seemed breathless, in a bad way, and worried Michael a bit.

He put the paper down, not really interested in it anymore.

"Did you take sleeping medicine?" Michael asked, stepping closer to the bed, and sitting next to Devin. Devin's weight shifted as he was pulled closer to Michael by the force of gravity.

"Mmm, yeah," Devin whispered. Michael inwardly slammed his head into a wall.

"How many did you take?"

"The... normal amount," Devin said, rolling back over on the bed, closer to the wall again. Michael sighed, not getting anywhere with this boy.

"Okay," Michael said, trying to believe Devin. "Oh, I was out with Wilhelm, Ricky, Lila, and Nikolai today. Nikolai said he wanted you to respond to his texts," Michael said, looking back over to Devin.

His facial features screwed up into a bit of annoyance, and worry, and something unreadable.

"Can you... pass me my phone?" Devin asked, sitting up in the bed, slowly. He rubbed the back of his head and yawned.

Michael got up off the bed, again, and grabbed Devin's phone, passing it to him. Devin swung it around to face him, using this thumb and forefinger. He unlocked it, and opened messages.

There were tons, and that surprised Michael. He hadn't opened any of them, except for Michael's and Klaus.

Michael tried to do a quick scan of everyone who had texted Devin, but before he could see any more Devin clicked on Nikolai's messages.

There were at least twenty-three, which was a lot for Nikolai, since half the time he only carved attention from Wilhelm, and no one else. Honestly, he hated all the attention on him, and 'going all out' especially.

Devin was even surprised. The Nikolai that they knew wasn't like this at all. He was usually easily annoyed, although they did usually text, when a Wilhelm had gotten fed up with a Nikolai annoying him. They were honestly pretty close, compared to some of the other people Nikolai was friends with.

He simply responded to all of Nikolai's texts with 'Hey, sorry for not responding sooner', then put his phone down, and laid back under the covers.

Michael sighed, and heard his own phone buzz from the other side of the room.

He got up to see what it was about. It was a message from a group chat, consisting of him, Louis, Lev, Nikolai, and Wilhelm.

[Lila]

Have you said anything to him yet?

[Michael]

Not really

He took sleeping pills, so he's tired right now

[Ricky]

Wtf

How many has he taken?

I thought you said you would take those away from him

[Michael]

I just got home

I'll take them away later, I guess

It's obvious that something is wrong right now

I don't know how to ask what's wrong, though

[Lila]

Ask him how his day was, maybe?

Could you ask Klaus?

That's the setter from that other school he hung out with today, right?

[Nikolai]

Yeah, George has talked about him before

[Wilhelm]

Wait, you still talk to George?

[Nikolai]

Sometimes, ig

But thats unimportant

Michael, I tried texting him again, is he sleeping again?

[Michael]

Kind of?

He is trying to fall asleep right now, I'm sitting next to him in my bed

He isn't exactly sleeping yet, though

[Nikolai]

Alright

[Michael]

I really don't know what to do

[Wilhelm]

I know I already said it, but just be there for him

[Michael]

Yeah

I'm gonna start being there for him

But, I wanna bring him somewhere for therapy

or something like that, but I don't know where, or how

My mom will help with that, she loves Devin

but I don't know how he'll be with that.

[Ricky]

Why wouldn't he be

[Michael]

His parents called him sick for wanting to go

[Lila]

That's awful

[Michael]

It is, and because of that, I don't know how he will be if I ask to bring him

[Nikolai]

Mmm

[Lila]

There isn't harm in trying, right?

[Nikolai]

I could also try and talk him into it, if you want me too

[Michael]

You guys are being so helpful, thank you

Really

Oh, I gtg, sorry, bye

[Nikolai]

Bye

[Wilhelm]

bye

[Lila]

Bye, take care of him

And yourself.

[Michael]

I will

[Ricky]

👋

thank you for reading, 

with lots of love,

-aa