Adrian grabbed onto Klaus's shoulder, grip tightening a bit. But he wouldn't ever hurt Klaus.

"Wh-what is it, Adrian?" Klaus asked, bowing his head. He knew what it was. The make up had probably worn off, the bruise was probably on full display for the entire world to see.

"I think you know," Adrian dead panned, not wanting to jump to conclusions, but his suspected conclusion being the most likely.

"Adrian... it's not what it—"

"It's not what it looks like? Well, to me, it looks like you've been cheating on me. Is that true or false?" Adrian said, letting go of his grip on Klaus, putting space between each other.

"False! Adrian! I-I wasn't- I wasn't cheating!" Klaus's body started to shake as he tried to speak. He didn't know how to think.

"Then who? I know, sure as hell, it wasn't me." Adrian asked, folding his arms. His eyes were those of fire, scaring Klaus into turning his eyes away. This caused Adrian's anger to falter. The slightest hint of tears came to Adrian's eyes.

"I, I can't... not right now..." Klaus said, crossing his arms and scratching his nails into the skin, hard enough to break it. Adrian's eyes widened with fear. Klaus hadn't ever done this before.

"Klaus...?" Adrian asked, seeing him marking up his own skin. "Don't hurt yourself like that," he whispered softly, stepping forwards and grabbing the boy's hand softly, so he couldn't hurt himself anymore.

Klaus flinched at his light touch.

"Why can't you tell me, now?" Adrian's voice was pouring with anger and frustration, and basically any bad emotion you can have. His words are much harder than his previous touch. Adrian wouldn't, and didn't believe that Klaus cheated on him. Klaus wasn't that type of person. At all. But Adrian wasn't going to ignore it until he got a reason, or answer. He just really hoped it wasn't as Klaus was currently letting it off to be. Adrian would be absolutely heartbroken. More than heartbroken.

He pulled his hand back off of Klaus, setting it down at his side.

"Cause... you'll, you'll leave me! And- and I... your the only good thing in my life, and I'm so... so fucking done with it. Life, I mean," Klaus muttered, weary of his surroundings. It was the second time he had spoken that line aloud. The first was to his uncle.
Adrian was a bit surprised to hear these words from Klaus. He was always so cheerful, and helpful, and just... he always seemed happy.

I guess he's not... Adrian thought, taking a closer look at Klaus. His Klaus.

"Klaus... I just want an explanation. I don't care if you don't want to tell me. I just want to know. You don't- you don't have to tell me who... that's okay. But I want to know what the hell happened, for you to get a huge bruise like that." Adrian said, repeating himself in those sentences a bit.

Klaus didn't say anything and just folded forward crying. Adrian hated the sight of it most in the world.

And to be honest, Adrian was on the verge of tears too. But he wasn't gonna let them fall. There was a time to remain strong, and a time to let your emotions go wild. Now wasn't the time to let them go wild.

"Can you... just hold me? I- I'll tell you everything, but please... can you just hold me?"

Adrian stayed quiet, and he caved at Klaus's small voice, and opened his arms to him. Adrian loved Klaus, and he really hoped Klaus loved him too.
Klaus stepped forwards, before practically collapsing into Adrian's arms.

Adrian held him tightly for a long time. It wasn't until Brendan and Enzo walked over to them. Brendan was always so happy-go-lucky, but his expression faltered when he saw both his upperclassmen crying together. Enzo wanted to walk to them, to make sure they were all right, but they seemed to be talking about something important. Enzo nudged Brendan's shoulder, and nodded his head in an opposite direction, to give both Klaus and Adrian space.

"Uh, we should just go," Enzo whispered to Brendan, Brendan nodding in agreement. Enzo avoided looking at the two any more, not wanting them to think he was a big creep, peering into their very clearly private conversation.

Klaus released Adrian, and stepped away, rubbing his eyes roughly. "I'm sorry, I- I'll let you be, we can break up... I'm gonna go," Klaus said, almost completely calmed down. His eyes and cheeks were rubbed red, but he was no longer in tears. He was no longer pleading with Adrian. He looked defeated. As if he had just given up.

"No, Klaus, let's just... go home," Adrian said, referring to his apartment house. Adrian couldn't believe that Klaus had cheated on him. As much as every single sign that Klaus was giving him were very clearly signs of him cheating, he wouldn't believe it for himself at all.

"Okay," Klaus whispered. Not until Klaus said the words.

When they got to Adrian's home, Klaus stayed in the kitchen, feeling like he was intruding in Adrian's home. Adrian didn't mind it though. He had a gut feeling that was telling him something was off.

He grabbed Klaus's hand, and against Klaus's quiet protests, brought him into his room. He sat Klaus down on the bed, and stood above him.

"Now, tell me. You said you would," Adrian whispered, scared to scare him.

Klaus's eyes filled with tears again, and they widened. Klaus shook his head wildly, telling Adrian no. Adrian didn't want to scare Klaus, making him think he was being assertive, by standing over him.
Adrian took a seat on the bed next to him, placing his hand on his shoulder, comfortingly rubbing it. Klaus's head fell forwards into his hand, and his body shook the bed. He tried to stay silent, and he was, if it weren't for the light whistles that came out of his mouth.

"Klaus. Please, tell me." Adrian wrapped his arms around Klaus, pulling his head to his chest. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he was going to do. It would be too hard to accept that Klaus cheated on him. Too hard.

Klaus pulled away at the use of his full name. He started fiddling with his hands in his lap. He took a deep breath before saying: "It doesn't really matter anyways,"

Adrian was quick to reply, staring at his feet. "Yes. Yes it does."

Klaus looked up at Adrian, searching his eyes. They were teary, but it didn't look like he was going to cry any time soon. Adrian opened his mouth to speak, causing Klaus to look back down to the ground, avoiding his eyes. Adrian was hoping that Klaus was at least forming some type of explanation in his mind. But in reality, Klaus was sitting there, completely blank minded. Like his entire vocabulary had been stripped. He felt like a naked man, standing in front of a whole room of people laughing at him. That's what this felt like.

He wanted to escape, but stay in the presence of Adrian at the same time. He didn't want to leave Adrian, and that scared him most.

And if I told Adrian about my uncle... Adrian won't want to stay with me. He wouldn't want someone disgusting like me...

"You... Can you at least confirm that you were cheating on me? Were you? Yes or no?"

"No. I wasn't." Klaus said, completely serious, although he knew that Adrian wouldn't believe him. He made eye contact when saying that, so that Adriancould see how serious he truly was.

"Fine. You don't want to tell me what happened, then you can just leave. I tried, Klaus." Adrian had removed him from his embrace, and scooted away from him on the bed. His eyes had gone cold. He couldn't believe it. Klaus had really cheated on me.

Klaus clenched his hands, before standing up. He just lost the one person he cared about. The one person who silenced the demands inside of him, who made him the person he was today. A person that he enjoyed being, for the most part. The person who kept him happy.

The one person keeping him from doing it.
Now there wasn't anything to leave behind, anymore.

Klaus walked down the stairs, quietly. He walked towards Adrian's small kitchen, and opened one drawer to find a pen and paper.

He at least had to say goodbye.

He wrote down a short, simple note. Just to give Adrian some closure.

'Don't worry, Adrian, I loved you to the end. It wasn't your fault, alright. Don't worry about it. I'll be okay, afterwards. -klaus'

He was sobbing when he wrote the note, so his handwriting was shaky, and the words had smudged together in some parts, but he didn't exactly care about the condition it was left in. He had to get out of Adrian's house before he got mad at him.
He slipped out the front door, hoping that Adrian wouldn't find the note too quickly, cause he wouldn't want to think about him not caring.

He probably wouldn't care. His mind hissed at him, pushing him to walk a little faster, against the bitter wind.

He doesn't care.

Klaus pushed his legs faster at that thought, until he felt like he couldn't breathe.

He knew that he was having a panic attack from the way his feet felt. Tingly and numb. But his panic attacks never had been loud, and usually went unnoticed by even himself.

It was just always the feet.

He made it to the school building, being let into it by the spare key he had for the gym.

He threw the doors open, and locked them behind him. His mind was set.

He was going to do this. There wasn't anything to turn back for, anyway. It would rid him of any worries he previously had, too.

Klaus slowly climbed the stairs. The building was four stories tall. Hopefully it won't hurt.

Klaus made it to the roof, and made his way to the edge, slowly. He frowned down at the bottom. What if Adrian did find the note? What if he really doesn't care?

Klaus shook his head, and sat down, legs dangling over the edge. He needed a minute to just collect all his thoughts, and to find a way to forgive himself for everything he had done wrong.

He took both of his shoes off, something they did to let everyone know he took his own life. This wasn't done by someone else.

He placed them to the side, and moved his legs forwards and backwards, swaying in the wind. He wasn't exactly worried that any passer-byers would say anything. He was at the back of the building, where the sports buildings faced him. It was rather late after school, and there was no one. It was like a ghost school.

He wondered who would find him first. Who would go to his funeral. He thought about how his uncle was just going to get away with everything he did. About how Adrian wasn't going to care. About everything he had done that led to this moment. The first time he played volleyball, falling in love with the sport. The first time he felt something for Adrian. Their first kiss. When he asked him to date. He thought about all of the people he had met, and all of the friends he had lost. The trips he had taken, the tournaments he played. He thought about his team, and coaches. Everything.

He stayed like that for a little while, enjoying his last couple of minutes breathing.

But it was more than a couple of minutes. It was close to twenty.

He didn't want to leave the team without saying anything. He still had his phone on him, and spent most of that time wondering if he should say something.

Yeah, I should.

Klaus pulled out his phone, and opened the group chat.

He sighed as he typed six words; 'I really did love you guys.' He finished off the sentence with the warm smiling emoji.

He didn't wait for the responses. But his phone started buzzing, almost immediately.

He tried to ignore it, but then lost to his curiosity. He turned his phone over and had a lot of worried text messages from his teammates.

I love you too, but Klaus?! Brendan said, with a confused face.

What do you mean 'did'? Alek wrote, which surprised Klaus a bit. It was also surprising that he was the second one to respond to his text message, as well. Half the time his head was so stuck in Nadia's business that he had no idea what was going on outside of her world.

Klaus? Are you okay? Enzo asked. The gesture was nice, Klaus thought. But he felt too far gone at that point. Nothing they said was going to make him change his mind anymore.

I can come over if you want, like you did for me when I was upset. Enzo sent with the same emoji that Klaus had used, hoping to get a 'yes' other than silence. But he wasn't gonna revive a different response. All of them were just met with silence.
He liked how all of his teammates were trying to at least reach out to him.

But then a thought dawned on him, clouding any bit of light the sun was able to get through to him.
Teammates. Not friends.

Klaus didn't take the time to read through any more of them, and put his phone down again. The buzzing of his phone was annoying, and he almost threw it off the roof. Better than to let the police, or whoever finds it. Sure, they could track back to it, and he didn't have any illegal shit on it, just personal.

But he received a call from Adrian, probably caused by the text to the group chat. Maybe the note. Klaus wanted to throw his phone away and ignore him. But he picked up, and put it as far away from him as possible.

"Klaus. Where are you?"

Klaus thought about just not answering him at all. Leaving him hanging, but he caved. He always caved when it came to Adrian.

His first, and last, love.

"Just... at the school. Don't worry, I'm just studying, since there's that test coming up in math class!"
Klaus was good at acting, but Adrian could hear the fake happiness in his voice. He'd known him too long to not be able to hear it in his voice.

"Alright, I'll come study with you then." Adrian said, playing along with it, in hopes to keep him on the phone for longer, giving him the time to get to the school faster. Anything to keep him occupied.

"Nope, no need. We broke up—" Tears, and his breath caught in his throat. "I think we should have space. I don't know if I can continue on as friends, Adrian. That would be worse than hell." He looked back down at the ground.

"Klaus... I—" there wasn't really anything he could say to that.

But he had to find a way to keep him on the phone. He was still about ten minutes from the school. That could be ten minutes too late, if he wasn't careful.
"I'm gonna go, bye Adrian," Klaus said, and before there was a response, hung up.

There were many, many more calls. This time from both his teammates, and Adrian alike. Adrian had probably let them know. He hated Adrian for that. He didn't want his upperclassman to know.

He got to his feet, standing over the edge of the roof. He was ready. His tears had stopped a little while ago, drying on his face. He thought of anything last minute that he felt the need to apologize to whatever was going to welcome him to the next stage.

He held his hands out for balance, mind empty. He felt as if he couldn't feel at all.

One wrong move, and it was all over.

He couldn't think of one person who would care. Nobody came to mind.

He couldn't imagine one person who would come to his funeral. He couldn't understand why people wouldn't care. He had always tried his hardest at being someone people would like. It just wasn't in his blood. He was just born to be pushed over to the side.

Even in his parents' minds. It was usually about them, and them fighting. His mother, when he was much younger, would try and reassure Klaus that it wasn't about him. But as he grew older, and older, he could understand more of the fights. All those nights that his mother sat with him in the bed, as he cried, scared from the screaming. She just sat there with him, running her fingers through his hair, and trying to get him to stop crying, it really was all just about him.

It was always about him, and the way that they didn't know what to do with him. His father never wanted him, and felt stuck after his wife told him she was pregnant.

The two of them spent hours fighting. His mom told her husband that he was a good boy, and always behaved. But his father didn't change. He didn't want him.

And soon, Klaus's mother got tired of having to comfort him, and left him on his own to cry, and to take care of himself.

She had enough to deal with, as her husband liked to slap her around.

She gave up on taking care of her son, and lost faith in him.

His uncle... he said to Klaus "I'll make you feel wanted," and, at first, Klaus tried to believe him. But after the first time, then the second, third, and fourth, and every family gathering after that... he felt used. Like a toy. A push over. He didn't feel wanted. He hated it. He had begged his uncle to stop, and he just responded with 'I love you'.

He didn't feel loved, at all.

Adrian was the only one who made him actually feel loved. The only one who made him feel something other than his miserable feelings he tried his hardest to push down, and bottle up.

But every time his parents still dragged him to family events, (one being the day prior, and the reason the hickey was sucked into his neck.) even though he tried his hardest to act sick, or come up with any excuse that would get him out of seeing his uncle.

And now, Klaus Fischer is done with life. He was so done with his life.

He was ready to let go, finally, but as he was about to let his body fall backwards when he felt arms wrap around him from behind. His entire body filled with shock. Everything started moving in slow motion.

He felt the arms pulling him back towards the center of the roof. Klaus couldn't help but scream.

I didn't even hear the doors open! Fuck, I'm so stupid! I thought I locked it! Klaus thought, yelling at the person to let him go.

He tried to get out of the person's grip, and back to the edge of the roof and just let gravity take over from there. But the person wouldn't let him go.
If anything, the grip the person had on him was tightening.

"Let me- fuck! Let me go! Let me..." Klaus's crying turned completely hysterical as he heard Adrian's voice in his ear.

"No. Never." He whispered, keeping his voice from cracking.

Klaus only struggled harder. Why was he here? Why had he shown up?

Klaus kicked Adrian's leg, and Adrian's grip loosened on Klaus, letting him slip, accidently. Klaus tripped, spinning on his heel, and falling backwards towards the edge of the roof again. He scraped his hands, but welcomed the feeling of the stinging.

He felt out of his mind. His breathing picked up as he looked at Adrian's eyes. Adrian's eyes were almost blank, and it scared Klaus. Adrian looked... mad? Upset? Scared? Confused?

A mix of all? Two? Three?

"Tell me what's wrong! Jesus Klaus! What the fuck happened?! Why the hell are you trying to kill yourself? And that note? What the hell is going on? What won't you tell me?!" Adrian sobbed, completely losing his composure. He wanted to grab Klaus again, and hold him like how he had done earlier. But Klaus had the power of his life in the palm of his hand... and he could throw it all away, right in front of his eyes, if Adrian wasn't careful.

Klaus was too close to the edge of the roof for his comfort, and slowly made his way towards the smaller, shaking boy.

"I- my... My uncle! It fucking was him!" Klaus screamed, inching his way closer to the edge.

"He did that?! He touched you!? And you didn't... you could have told me,"

"But you would think I was disgusting! You probably do! No, no, I am disgusting! It's okay, you won't have to deal with me anymore. Alright,"

Adrian caught the scream that wanted to be let out of his throat. He couldn't make any fast movements yet. He needed to be calm about this... he just didn't know how too.

Klaus stood up, taking another step backwards.
"Klaus... please, I could never think you were disgusting. What he did to you... that makes him disgusting, not you." Adrian said, still moving closer. He was waiting until the right moment to grab Klaus and yank him back to the safety of his arms.

"I-I'm done, alright? I- you just... let me go, please." Klaus said, taking another step back, losing his footing. He continued speaking. "I've got nothing going for me, and no one... no one loves me. All of my family hates me... my mom gave up, my dad doesn't even fucking want me...

"I'm sorry, Adri—" Klaus rubbed his eyes with his hands, taking his eyes off of Adrian's movements, giving Adrian an opportunity.

Adrian reached his hand out, grabbed Klaus's hand and yanked him into his arms again.

"Stop! Adrian! No!" Klaus yelled, frustrated. Tears rolled down his cheeks, fast. Adrian cried even harder, his noises of struggle coming out amplified, as if they were bouncing off the walls of his own brain.

Klaus tried his hardest to stop Adrian from pulling him out of the doors of the roof, but Adrian was much stronger compared to Klaus, with the state he was in.

He got the doors shut behind the two before he collapsed, Klaus in his lap. He didn't let him go.
He cried into the side of Klaus's neck, and the boy stopped struggling to get back to the edge of the roof. He settled on repeatedly saying "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Hate... you," Before he eventually gave up speaking, and went completely silent.
Adrian was too scared to let him go.

Adrian had brought him to his mother, who treated Klaus like one of her own, when Klaus was comfortable. He was admitted to a hospital, and his mental health, and feelings of self-hate, and disgust faded slowly over time.

And Adrian was there every step of the way.

***

"Hey, Adrian?" Klaus asked, looking at The blanket surrounding the two.

"Yeah?" He asked, tightening his grip on Klaus, and kissing the nape of Klaus's neck.

"I-I'm sorry about that day... so sorry," he whispered, hugging Adrian's arms closer to his chest.

"Hey, it's alright," Klaus sighed before sitting up in bed.

"Huh?" Adrian asked, wondering why Klaus was getting up. But he didn't get a response. Klaus turned towards Adrian, and gave him a beautiful smile that Adrian loved so much.

Klaus layed back down with Adrian, but facing him this time. Adrian placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, and whispered a 'goodnight'.

"I'm going to meet with Devin tomorrow," Klaus whispered into Adrian's chest.

"Okay, what time tomorrow?" Adrian asked, resting his chin on the top of Klaus's head. He inhaled deeply, as Klaus smelt like sugar cookies, and vanilla.

"Around noon, probably. You know, he's started hurting himself again," Klaus said, hands clenching Adrian's shirt into fistfuls.

Adrian could feel how tense Klaus got from thinking about that.

"I- I don't know how to help him... and I'm scared he'll try to pull what I did... I don't want him to end up like I did, Adrian!" Klaus said, tears falling from his eyes, slowly curving over his cheek.

"Hey, love, he won't, okay? You... you work your magic on people, and Michael is now helping him, from what I heard of the conversation. He'll be okay, Klaus," Adrian whispered, holding Klaus equally as tight.

"Okay," Klaus responded, believing Adrian. He trusted him with his life, almost literally.

And soon, Adrian's room was filled with the soft snores of the couple.

***

"Hey Michael?" Devin asked around 3:23 am. They were lying down, Michael holding Devin from behind. The two of them had gone to sleep hours prior, but sleep never seemed to find its way to Devin.

"Mmm?" Michael responded, his mind was still heavy with sleep. He loosened his grip on Devin, turning over in the bed

"I love you," Devin said, holding onto the blanket tighter.

"I love you too, so much," he said, becoming a bit more aware of himself, and the person talking (Devin).

"me too," Devin responded, rather plainly. Michael didn't really care, seeing as it was too early in the morning to begin an entire conversation.

Michael fell back asleep not long after, while Devin couldn't seem to fall asleep at all.

Devin stayed stiff as a board in the bed to not disturb Michael. Although, he was very uncomfortable with the way he was laying down.

He really didn't care. Michael's life had so much more purpose and meaning than he thought of his own, he would do whatever for Michael's comfort.

But he couldn't help but think to himself, if I wouldn't hurt you... I would die.

well this was a long one, but if you've made it far, thank you, i hope you're okay :]

with love,
—aa