I apologize in advance that this will be all over the place
As far as topics.
They connect as constellations in my head,
But sometimes people don't see that. Haha

My past was a bitter taste in my mouth,
And I tried to pretend my soul wasn't dead.
I learned to naturally not say my deep,
Insightful thoughts.
They were all too stupid to understand it anyways.
I was convinced that true love doesn't exist,
As ice cold fingerprints haunted me, physically and mentally.
I didn't think I'd find someone who loved me for me,
I began to feel frustrated with myself,
I felt the waters crash onto me.
I was already dead,
And there was no denying it when I realized it.
I was drowning in a pool of lethal anxiety,
Convinced I was destined for self destruction,
I was already halfway there and it always gets worse, right?
Wrong.
I had one notification that changed my life.
The anxiety stopped.
The waves stilled.
I replied to your comment.
We talked,
You gave me pieces of you,
As I did, you.
The next day,
Darkness was no more.
I talked to my friends about the anxiety though,
And a pretty large group stood around me,
Watching me talk in fear about what this anxious feeling
Could lead to.
They weren't there.
I felt knives in my heart once more.
But then your name came to mind.
And I walked the halls alone,
But with a smile on my face.
We kept talking, and
I anonymously wrote poetry about you.
Whether or not you caught on, I do not know.
I eventually decided I love you in the best and the worst way possible;
Best because you are a beautiful soul,
That I felt so lucky to love,
But bad because why on earth would you love someone like me especially when everyone else cannot handle my
Words of philosophy?
And I knew every 'forever' I had ever thought I had,
Broke my heart.
Nobody could handle the broken mess of a human (I think)
Known as me.
Yet you could.
You took my broken shards of glass and fixed them,
Turning them into a multicolored window pane.
I love you in ways that make me feel like I am beautiful,
You tell me I am special,
You give me everything I have never been given.
I love you,
And I don't mean I love you the way one loves
To feel happy, because who doesn't love that?
I love you the way I write poetry;
With deep, intellectual feelings, full of creativity, passion, dedication, and commitment.
I love you the way I love the rain, spearmint gum, and ginger ale.
I love you.
You make me feel okay,
You make me a believer
In that I can do something amazing, that I am talented at all,
And that maybe true love does exist.
I've felt things with people before,
But nothing could prepare me for the feelings I'm having for you.
You know I thought I fell in love with one person ever.
But these feelings make me doubt what I had with my past 'lover'.
See, people have walked into my life,
With trouble written across their foreheads,
And I trusted them. They were fake.
If I had met you before them,
I would have known that they weren't real,
Not the way we are real.
I am in tears writing this.
You make me feel amazing.
You make me feel things nobody else could.
I feel as though I am not pouring enough emotion
Into this,
But I am literally in tears,
You have given me an infinity.
I never thought I would have someone in my life
Who is poetic, who understands with just the right
Amount of intellect.
You found me and
You saved me.
I am so lucky to love you,
You know all the parts to me.
And I love you in complex ways.
You are the medicine I need.
You are the drug I am addicted to but without all the damaging effects.
You are the oxygen I breathe.
These feelings can't be contained within the power
Of poetry or words for that matter.
You are more than I ever thought I'd want,
Or need, or love.
You are my forever.
I am all yours, love.
- (m.m)