TW:

• Depression

•Abuse

•Mentions of self harm

We all know what it is,
We've all heard of the sin.
It's like death and grief share a kiss,
And then my depression is their kin.

I cut myself to feel better,
Then I hide my marks with an oversized sweater.

My arms are sore, from all the pain,
My eyes are bare, and weight never gets gained.
I'm forced to bear, what I endure,
No thoughts to share, at least not ones that are pure.

They don't know what i've been through,
They say they understand,
Well, there's nothing they can do,
I go to my room and get smacked by my lover's underhand.

Just know that the punches they throw will always land,
then I'll grab the knife with shaky hands.

Do you really want to see what i've done?
The scars that show my depression has won?
Will they finally understand the things they say do hurt,
and will they finally realize that at the end of the day I know what i'm worth.

some people say that i'm something, though I know that i'm nothing,
why do I keep trusting when the pain and lies keep coming?
When I have to cut deeper because my whole world is numbing?

Still i'll accept all of their apologies,
while they shame me for all of my qualities.

I'll let the numb tears run down my face,
while they shout at me and smash a vase.
They clean up the mess without a trace,
so the police roll their eyes and leave our place.

The years of sorrow cannot be replaced,
the tears of pain will still fall from my face,
my eyes with a beautiful watery glaze,
will close as I imagine being away from this place.

Abuse and pain,
morbid thoughts in my brain,
weeks of being clean going down the drain,
and I let my abuser take hold of the reins.

I guess this is what my life has come to,
cutting abuse and gas lighting, while nobody has a clue,
they don't know what i've been through.

He smiles down at me and pretends to be nice,
than makes me cry in the middle of the night.
They don't know what i've had to do,
they don't have a clue.
They don't know of the horrible pain i've been due,
they don't know what i've been through.