Social Lie

W-w-w-who needs to socialize anyway?!
I'm fine not being seen by anyone as a friend!
Every day, every day,
I ignore yet another person.

In this world, sometimes shy isn't a thing.
Rather, "arrogance" is, describing people with a snotty refusal to talk.
I guess I'm "arrogant," too, I guess I just don't talk enough.
I'm trying, though, I just lack the social skills!
(Break the ice, break the ice)
My mouth quivers
(Break the ice, break the ice)
My words collapse
Somehow, with every person I met,
I end up making an unbreakable barrier of silence between us.

Life's an unfair game, giving me a difficult time like this.
I can't even open my mouth without wimping out!
If only social anxiety didn't exist; if only I didn't exist;
then the world would be so much more peaceful!

W-w-w-who needs to socialize anyway?!
I'm fine not being seen by anyone as a friend!
Every day, every day,
I ignore yet another person.

H-h-h-how are people able to drop words
as though they were nothing but feathers?
Today today, today today,
I unintentionally become a distrustful person.

The sun burns me with friend groups' smiles.
The moon freezes me with an empty night.
The truth of my social life tightens around me
like a cobra snake coiling my fragile neck.
(Work it out, work it out)
I sweat in front of any person,
(Work it out, work it out)
pressured to meet their impossible expectations.
It's no use, after all,
my "friends" are going to leave me sooner or later.

Distrust, shyness, anxiety, loneliness, judgement;
Life would be so much easier without them!
You know, it's worse that no one understands me
since all they'll do is outcast me!

I-I-I-I can't speak when all I do is
cry from overwhelmingness.
Tomorrow tomorrow, tomorrow tomorrow
probably, for sure, won't be any better.

S-s-s-sorry to all of those people
that I accidentally caused to hate me!
Never never, never never
can I rid of this social anxiety.

What even is social life anymore?
What even are friends anymore?
Goddammit, I'm useless. I can't do anything.
Before I knew it, my friends left like startled tadpoles.
"Stress-free" is nothing but an illusion now.
F uck everyone, I'll just be ALONE

W-w-w-who needs to socialize anyway?!
I'm fine not being seen by anyone as a friend!
Every day, every day,
I ignore yet another person.

H-h-h-how are people able to drop words
as though they were nothing but feathers?
Today today, today today,
I wanted to give up trying anymore.

I-I-I-I can't speak when all I do is
cry from overwhelmingness.
Tomorrow tomorrow, tomorrow tomorrow
probably, for sure, won't be any better.

S-s-s-sorry to all of those people
that I accidentally caused to hate me!
Never never, never never
can I rid of this social anxiety.

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Tags: #poems