Some people have exciting testimonies about how God saved them from perilous circumstances or out of terrible bondage to some addiction or another. No one wants to admit it if they got saved as a child because they think people wouldn't be impressed, or that their testimony might be boring. I was saved at a very young age, but that doesn't mean my testimony is boring, far from it!

You see, I was a hateful child; obnoxious in every sense of the word. When my little brother was born, I was just a year-and-a-half old, but I knew I hated him. How dare he take my mommy's time and attention from me?!

My mother tells this story (I honestly don't remember more than one tiny instant of it, myself) but it shows what kind of person I really was. It also highlights the truth of Romans 3:23. For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.

Mom tells how she was trying to wash laundry one day, and the water pressure in the washer dropped down until it was barely filling. Confused, she went in search of my brother and I. She found us in the bathroom.

My baby brother was standing in the toilet while I held the lever down. I looked up at her and said in a wail of frustration, "I'm trying to flush him down, Mommy, but he just won't go!"

At just three years of age, I tried to murder my baby brother. How I hated him! For the next four years, that hate spewed out of me. He tried his little hardest to win me over but I was having none of it. He was my only playmate and companion, but I was horrible to him.

Aside: My mom was saved shortly before the toilet incident, and my dad got saved the years later,  when I was six. The church I grew up in was similar in most of the ways that count to the church described in the book of Acts. We were an extended family, and with the members of Ramah Center, I felt secure and loved.

Unfortunately, we lived so far away from the church- and the majority of the members- that I only saw the others my age on Sundays, holidays and church get-togethers that they managed to have once per month. Growing up, I was literally closer to my church family than I was to my blood cousins and their parents.

Back to the story: my hatred toward my brother began to change when I was seven years old. I don't even remember why I was yelling at him, but the Lord opened my ears and I really heard the evil, horrible things I was screaming at him. I remember being so shocked that I fell silent, mouth still open mid-yell, so horrified at my own behavior that I ran and locked myself in my room.

I remember crying every night in my bed, for a week straight, telling God I was sorry, and then thinking I would be perfect the next day. Of course, I wasn't; I was still me- evil, sinful, horrible me. I think that it was the last night of that, when I finally asked God to change me.

My brother will probably tell you that it took a long time for me to change; it can't happen overnight, after all! I did at least stop hating him, right away. The thing that happened right away, even before I repented of my sins, was that God set me apart. From the very first, He was moulding me into who He wanted me to be. He set me apart from the world so that I would grow to depend completely on Him.

That may sound great but it wasn't. All through primary school, middle school and even high school, I was a pariah, an awkward misfit and an outcast. Oddly, enough, the people who mocked me the most were the ones that should have befriended me; they were the ones who left every day to go to 'church school'. These were the people who bullied me the most, and make no mistake, I was bullied daily.

The teachers did nothing to stop it; I wasn't anyone's favorite student! Awkward physically and emotionally, I also struggled to pay attention and to learn. No one really knew about ADHD back then, so mine went undiagnosed until recently. (I'm a grandma!) Because of the emotional isolation, fear, and dread of going to school, I ended up depressed and withdrawn.

Even though I didn't know it then, this was my 'wilderness', where He brought me to a place where only He exists. Moses and Jesus walked a physical wilderness. Joseph found his wilderness in an Egyptian prison. Me? My wilderness was the classrooms and hallways of public school.

Once I learned to read, a world of escape opened up to me! My mother scrimped and pinched every penny so she could afford a plethora of Christian board-books (the kind meant for parents to read to their pre-schoolers) that opened up the Bible stories to my young mind. To this day, Daniel and the Writing on the Wall is my favorite Bible story.

Mom also had a whole bookcase full of antique books, most from when she was a little girl, or from her mother and Gran. When I was old enough to read them, the world of the Black Stallion, Nancy Drew and others took me away from the isolation of school. I read books by Thomas B. Costain, Louis L'Amour and Walter Farley (way older than what I, as a pre-teen should have been reading!) These books let me escape from the mockery of my peers.

Unfortunately, those books also let me escape from my school work. This led to a whole summer spent in school instead of playing in my back yard when I was eleven. On the other hand, God used that to my benefit! That was the summer when the summer school staff introduced me to the wonders of writing my own stories.

The summer staff was a different on than in the school year and by God's grace, they liked me! Their kind attention spilled over into my math and I finished my remedial math work a week earlier than the rest of the students. After my math was done, the staff let me have hours on the school computer to put my stories down. That was an unheard-of honor! That may not seem like much to you, but that year, the first home computer had just been released on the market; the Apple 2e. Our school was one of the first in the county to have them in the classrooms!

Reading opened up more than the Little Golden Books, however. When I was eight, I started reading the Bible every night, because I wanted to (as opposed to my parents requiring it of me.) It got so that I couldn't fall asleep at night until I'd read several verses, which is great unless one is at camp and the counselor is of the opinion that Bible-reading belongs to the morning hours. It's only been about five years that I haven't read Scripture at bedtime.

Life changed when I was sixteen. We moved a hundred miles away from the farm where I'd lived my entire life. That meant we had to find a new church. How do you find a new family? That was rough.

The place we moved to was a tiny town whose school was just as tiny. No one new ever moved there; the residents were all related to each other and had been born there. Since we were outsiders, I was not accepted there, either. I live in the same town again, but I am still not considered as 'from' there.

All of this was God's design; He kept me relying on Him instead of worldly relationships. As tough as it was, I would not change it, (except my conduct then, of course!) because through it, I learned to talk to God and more importantly, to hear His voice when He spoke to me.

I often forget to think instead of speak to God when I'm in public, so people usually think I'm talking to them, or to myself . . . or that I'm stark, raving mad, I suppose. It doesn't matter. Only the Voice of my Beloved matters. He has the best advice on everything from makeup brands, to shoes to the flavor of cereal I should buy this week. God cares about EVERY facet of my life, and yours!

My first true friends came after I became an adult and started having kids. My older sister, my sister-in-law, and my cousin-in-law, became not just relatives, but honest friends as we all started having babies around the same time. I kid you not, there was a plastic bin of maternity clothes that we passed around because no sooner did one have a baby, that someone else got pregnant. Between the four of us, there are eighteen children! I am blessed that my own children have such close relationships with as many cousins as they have, because I do not have that kind of relationship with even one cousin! (My older sister is a little younger than my youngest cousin.)

The best part about my sisters and my cousin? We are all committed Christians! The four of us have stood together through many life storms, helping each other to grow in faith and love as we raised our respective broods. For a long time, we had an online prayer group together. (It kind of fell apart last summer, when we all got busy. We still love each other, but . . . we kind of drifted apart, spiritually, when the demands of life meant we honestly didn't have time to get on the computer or the phone.)

God kept me from having friends that would have tempted me to sin, or that would have pulled me after the things of this world. Friends who encouraged my faith- and my writing- were worth the wait! One of my books is dedicated to my sister for that reason. We spent countless hours on the phone when our kids were little, reading my stories.

God calls each of us to come away, and draw near to Him. My personal journey was perhaps an extreme example of this, but sometimes it takes extreme measures for Him to turn a homicidal toddler into a woman He can use to shepherd His flock. Without God, I shudder to think how I might have ended up!

About Me:

I have had many adventures with my husband; we've raised our 5 kids, have a grandchild, changed careers and where we live. All of that is a story (or three!) for another time.

Right now, let's just say that the Lord has led me to pastor a small house church as well as ministering here. During the week, I travel to people's homes and help them (and their families) manage day to day tasks so they don't have to live in nursing homes. My children are scattered around the United States, in five different states, and I have one grandson who is adorable and into everything- busy every minute! I may be a little biased . . .

I manage to work in writing as I have time, along with a number of other hobbies. My favorite colors are purple, blue, and earth tones. I play video games when I have time- shamelessly! My favorite right now is Stardew Valley, but I also play Minecraft, Subnautica, and Slime Rancher (don't judge!) My kids have taught me to play Magic, the Gathering (I'm rubbish at it!) and want to get me into Dungeons and Dragons (which looks like fun, but may have some spiritual ramifications if I'm not careful.) Usually, we play UNO whenever the entire family gets together. We play so vigorously that non-family members are a little afraid to play with us. The games get intense!

I love mixing drinks and inventing new drinks, but I only allow myself one per day, unless it's a VERY special occasion. My belief is that parents should teach their children to cook and clean up after themselves, support themselves at a trade, handle money, drive a car (if possible), and (if they're like us) handle guns safely, so alcohol should be no different.

My hubby and I have a modest arsenal of guns, that we enjoy using for hunting or target practice. We have farm animals and almost always have raised at least part of our own food. The house is filled with pets. (To be fair, the cats used to live in the barn.) My very favorite pet out of all of them is my border collie dog, Riley. He isn't much of a livestock handler, but he makes a great lap dog! My latest project has been turning my aquarium into an aquaponic garden. I love the symbiosis between my pet goldfish and the plants I can raise!

I love to help people, but if I'm not careful, I tend to take over whatever project I was asked for help on. Reading and writing are gifts from God, that He wants me to use to draw others to Him, teach them about Him, or glorify His Name. Teaching others is a blessing and a joy.

Now you know about me, how about you? You're more than welcome to send me a message or leave a comment! (Don't forget to tag me in a comment; being a grandma, sometimes I forget stuff . . .)

Thanks for reading! The banner at the top is a pic of me, in all my unedited, first thing in the morning, dubious glory.