So end 7th grade to beginning of 8th the questioning was I N T E N S E. So one day I decide to up and tell my one friend hey BISH I'm not straight. Well I dont know. I dont think.

Mind you I had severe internalized homophobia..I could be and was the greatest ally to everyone else but me...being gay? I could not get up on that. I had a huge journal about it and I wrote down everything. I thought I was bi and I tried to force myself to be straight and I was miserable. I couldn't ever imagine an end to it all. I thought I could NEVER accept myself. One day, with support from my friends, I did manage to settle with being bi. I was comfortable with that for a while. But I didnt really...feel...bi. I didnt really understand what pan meant, so with time I managed to settle with pan and I have stuck with it ever since. It feels more right than bi. I'm still not locking in a label, and then again, I never have to. You never have to. People told me all the time dont worry about labeling yourself..but I needed answers. Everyone has a natural instinct to want answers to things. I hope that this has helped any of you questioning, and honestly I still am to. Sexuality is a NEVER ending battle, but with time it gets better. I swear. right now, it might seem like you can never be sure of yourself but it takes time. I'm sorry but it takes forever pretty much. Just it takes a lot of learning about yourself and acceptance..if you ever need to talk please DM me. I can understand you.  Hold on you've got this. <3