I didn't think about it while it was happening. I wasn't even there while it was happening. I was, a ghost, just a concept that was too well thought out. I wasn't there but, I was. I could feel every movement, hear every scream... but I couldn't stop. I wasn't in control, she was. The body was mine but the mind was hers, and hers alone. She moved as I sat idly by and watched her work. Waited to regain control, not knowing if I ever would.

I don't know her name. I don't know her purpose, all I know is that she is here. She is in my head. She's me, but she isn't. I struggle and thrash but I can't change her movement. I try to scream but nothing comes out. I am powerless. She won, she'll always win. It's her body now, and all I can do is watch as she tears my life apart.

I should have ended things when I had the chance. I could have stopped her, I could have stopped all of this. I stare down at the my... her, hands, they're red. They're dripping. Those hands are evil, those hands are hate, those aren't my hands, they never really were. She gave me the illusion of control, then she snatched it away. She tried to break me, but I will not break.

Slowly she steps over the carnage and made her way to MY bedroom, my safe spot. She closes the door behind her and turns around to look in the mirror.

"Oh dear, I've made a mess," she gives me a sinister smile, "I'll let you clean that up". Her words flow like honey off her tongue and suddenly I can feel again. I feel the blood drip off my finger tips, I feel tears run down my face. I run to my mother, laying helpless on the ground, as still as the air.

I lay down next to her and hold her. I will hold her as long as I can. I will hold her until they pry me off of her kicking and screaming.

"I didn't do this, I didn't do this, I didn't do this" I repeat the words over and over until they sink into my brain. "She did this, I'm not her, I'm not her".

I'm not her