Y/n POV
A few days later

"Ok, I'll send you the files as soon as I recieve a copy of it.... I'm saving some of the important documents in my pen drive, we can't take risk. Alright, I'll see you then. Thank you!" I said on a phone call with an important personnel. My hands fell on my sides exhaustedly, as I slowly sat on my chair, with a pile of files that needed to be cleared urgently by tomorrow evening anyhow. My head buzzed with headache, as I took a glance at my watch. Soon, a knock at my chamber's door grabbed my attention.

"Hey, can we come in ?" Ara said cheerfully, with a smiling Sana tucked at her side. I gave them a nod as I smiled at them.

" What happened...you don't look fine? Are you not feeling well??" Sana said as she came to my side and placed her palm on my forehead to check my temperature. I chuckled at her caring gesture as I pulled away from her gently.

"No no... I'm completely fine, it's just I'm perhaps tired a little." I said slouching back in my swivel chair.

" Excuse me miss, but you look more than tired right now, you gotta take a break. Don't go hard on yourself." Ara said as she settled on the couch near my office table.

"I can'ttt....I need to complete these anyhow. Otherwise, I would be doomed." I said whining in desolation.

Soon, I found them changing glances and the very next minute I was lifted up from my seat and was forcefully pushed towards the door of my cabin.

"Heyy!!! What's on your mind guys?? I've so much wor—" I said protesting but then they shushed me and said.

"We know you workaholic...but you need a break from work now, you must go home for today and take rest. Don't worry about these works, we'll wrap them up by today itself. What say Ara...???" Sana said darting her eyes between me and Ara. I looked at Ara only to notice a grin spreading on her face.

" Are you guys sure??...I don't want to burden you guys under my work. It's my job afterall. " I said a bit hesitantly.

" Don't be formal now, and later if you want to pay back then you are free to do so, we're always up for a free treat. Isn't it?" Ara said as she winked smugly at her. I grimaced at her cringeness as she laughed at my funny reaction.
"Ok then, I'll leave you guys... thank you so so much for your help. I pinky promise I'll treat you guys in a fancy restaurant. Btw, call me if you need any sort of help or there's any urgency." I said packing my office bag and grabbing my laptop, as I hugged them and waved them a bye.

The sweet night breeze made the curls of my strangled hair dance on the sides of my face, as I strolled along the Cheonggyecheon stream in downtown Seoul. The wintery weather was at its best, and as far as the eyes could see, everything was draped in a thin glistening sheet of snow.
The streets were slippery and damp due to melting of snow that were bundled all around each & every corner of the town and shone back reflecting the streetlights falling on them.

I breathed a sigh, as I slowly walked along the embankment of the stream flowing through it, and decided to take a rest after I had expended a considerable amount of my energy in office.

Inevitably, my life has changed drastically since the time I've joined  my new company. It has been a few days only, and now I feel myself already getting wasted in overdose of official works. Although, I've made a few friends in there and they are highly cooperative to be honest. Ara, Sana and Shi Jo helped me a lot through all the new works and projects and always guided me through the new working culture and etiquette of the company, I'm highly grateful to God for having them by my side. And now I'm finally ready to take up all the managing related matters solely in my hand, I admit it's a very huge responsibility though.

I'm running on a working cycle of morning to night which sometimes even extends itself to midnight, it includes waking up early in the morning and cleaning the house, doing morning routine, getting ready for office, collecting all the essential files beforehand I reach office, the compulsion to reach office on time, attending meetings one after other, discussing on future and in-hand projects, working on various assignments and going through pending files of the previous manager etc etc etc. I often come back home from office at night, only to work throughout midnight to complete different assignments, presentations and clear pending work files.

When these all sum up, there's barely any time left for myself to look after the other bothering affairs of my life. I rarely get any time to ponder or grief about my own pain that I'm going through, which is gradually eating me from inside. However, It's a whole different matter, that everynight I cry myself to sleep, it has nothing to do with how much time I'm left with to have a plenty of sleep or how late in the night it is. It has to happen anyway...cuz, it's the only way through which I make myself and my heart feel light and uplifted of emotional burden that I'm carrying somehow for too long now.

The things aren't easy in anyway, but are getting much worse as the days are passing by. It's not about office work or anything, it's about Taehyung.

It makes me suffer more and make my heart prickle painfully whenever I see Taehyung anywhere around me. My heart races everytime he comes near me, but it's a tragedy, that I everytime manage to somehow ditch him and avoid him at every possible cost I could afford to my last breath. That's what, I've been doing since the very first day in my new office, ditching him.

His face & especially his eyes, are the ones that prick the weakest spots of my heart, whenever he tries to have a talk or atleast an eye contact with me and fails in doing so. I'm very well aware of the worry and utter sadness in his eyes that always reflects through his gestures. The way his face everytime fells in despair and his eyes moist whenever he sees me escaping away from him and the way he takes hurried steps towards me whenever he finds me alone somewhere but halts unwantedly as soon as he finds someone else around me, are the things that always makes my heart shattered and forces me to wail silently at my own ill-fate.

It's not like we haven't came face to face since the time I'm here, such situations have occured atleast everyday but the thing is, I always managed to dodge his eyes, hence gained success in avoiding his presence everytime.

But now, the thing that worries me the most, is that now he has stopped his failed attempts to have a talk with me. On the contrary, now he avoids me or atleast what I think it is... except, for the conferences,formal discussions we've when others are also there.

I'm not surprised with his this attitude, cause I know I deserve it. I can't even think of the ways through which I've hurted him. He believed me. He took me as his best friend. He trusted me with no second thoughts. But , what I did to him?
I gave him nothing.
He always tried to have a word with me but everytime I dodged him, just for the sake of my own fu*cking feelings.
He's also suffering unknowingly because of me, and now it's eating me alive. I wish, I could say sorry to him someday. Maybe.

I don't even know if I even deserve his forgiveness.

But pardon me, I'm helpless at this point. I'm left with nothing that I can do to clear my muddled and messed up mind, get rid of my forbidden feelings, and to save our precious friendship.
But,now I doubt if these things are even possible anymore. Only time could answer all my questions.

Taking my work bag up from the ground, and brushing away the dust from my back, I decided to go for a quick grocery shopping and then depart for my home.

Time Skip

Carrying the heavy load of grocery bags, I stepped out of the elevator and stumbled my way to the main door of my flat. Ransacking through my purse, I finally took out the key of my house after much hard work and inserted in, mentally making a point to myself that I was soon going to order online for a digital keypad locking system, it's much easy to handle and safer.
I pushed opened the door but before I could protest or understand anything, someone's large veiny hand covered my mouth forcefully, making my screaming voice get muffled down in my throat itself. I struggled hard to free myself from the grasp of the unknown, but instead the man pushed me inside my flat and slammed the door shut with a loud thud as my back hit the door, my eyes clenched tightly closed, unable to open out of fear.
I felt my both hands pinned to the door firmly, as a warm tingling breath was fanning my face. I gulped down the lump in my throat in panic, as I gathered the courage to flutter open my eyes, only to let out a gasp in shock.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest, as my eyes widened, I was shook at the sudden encounter. My breath hitched as he leaned his face closer to mine, my cheeks blown up with red hue. He eyed me intensely, his own eyes burning with intermingled emotions.
I had never see him like this, never I wanted to. He looked intimidating and fiercely anguished.

My lips trembled as I tried to form words but my will refused to speak up. I felt scared yet safe in his hold, quite confused of my own feelings.
Suddenly, he spoke, making me stiff still at my spot....

"Why...why're you doing this to me Y/n-ah??"
Taehyung's deep timbre voice faltered as he made a soft eye contact with me. It held so much pain in his voice...

My eyes blurred with tears and threatened hastily to shed itself any minute now. But, I knew, I had to be strong. For him.

I didn't responded.

"Hmm?" He again asked firmly as he slowly attached our forehead, instantly warmth running down my entire body.

I bit harshly on my lower lip to stop them from quivering, as I balled my fists tightly, to control my shaking form.

" What h-happened Y/n ??...w-why are you not talking with me ??" He stuttered.

No response.

"Please speak up...will you!?!" A tear drop spilled out of his dreamy eyes, making my heart rip in pieces as he banged his hands on the sides of head on the door, frustrated.

Suddenly, he took a hold of my hand and tugged me towards the couch, settling me on it as he crouched down infront of my sitting form, holding my hand gently in his, as he rubbed small circles with his thumb on back of my hand. Instantly, soothing me down and my raging inner war, which I was fighting for a long time now.

I wanted to melt in his arm, surrendering myself to him, crying my heart out to him, drowning in his  eyes and telling him how much I missed him...how much I yearned for him. But, yet it was more painful than any other thing, to know we were this close yet so far. That, he couldn't ever be called mine. I could never call him as mine.

This thought immediately yanked me out of the hold of his eyes, as I looked straight out, avoiding his gaze. He squeezed my hand and I felt my body tingle in hidden glee.

" Why aren't you talking with me huh?!" He said suddenly in a high pitch, making me flinch.
I looked down at him,only to meet his
piercing gaze, making my unhealed wounds fresh yet again.

" Have I done something wrong?" He breathed out.
I moved my head from side to side, to respond a No. This would have been the last thing in the world that I would ever want to let happen that is to let him think that he had done something wrong in anyway, he hasn't done anything wrong.

He sighed as he averted his gaze to my lap, his shoulders slightly hunching as he sobbed, making his tears fall on my lap. My heart was sinking deeper and deeper in guilt and sorrow, making me scream internally looking at his miserable state. A part of my heart said to tell him the truth about my feelings, sidelining the consequences but my brain said that I shouldn't, it could risk our friendship which is more important & precious for me, even more than my life.

I bit on my tongue, as Taehyung silently cried, with his face down, still holding onto my hand.

" Why are you being like this?? What's bothering you huh??! Tell me atleast. Why you keep avoiding and ignoring me whenever I try to talk with you, you know how much I'm disturbed just because of you, how much freaking worried I'm for you... I'm dying of mental eagerness everyday, but here you're, not even sparing a glance to me, let alone the thought of even talking to me." He said as he stood up from crouching, the tension he went through because of me, clearly evident in his voice.

" Firstly, you left me alone in Daegu, not even telling me in person that you were leaving Korea because of an emergency, but I understood your worry for your ill mother who badly needed you there with her. You left me a note instead, telling me about the situation. I didn't had any problem with that. Then, you never called me neither texted me to atleast let me know if you'd safely reached US, and on top of it, you even didn't received any of my calls and messages...then also I thought that you might be very busy and with an unwavering hope, I kept waiting for your call but you made me hopeless gradually. I fought with myself everyday that why didn't I got to meet with you that day when you left Korea...somewhere, inside my heart, I feared of the thought that maybe I had lost you forever...that you were never going to come back from US. I was deeply submerged in my own reverie of unbearable pain." He said tears streaming down his face as he gazed at me with hopeful eyes.

He continued," But then like a sudden dream come true, you showed up in my office like a fresh rays of sunshine...I was overwhelmed with happiness. My heart danced when I came to know that you were going to work with our company from now on...it was so unbelievable to believe. But then, again my heart shattered when I noticed that you were trying your best to ignore my presence, for what reason I still don't know. I always tried to talk with you but you always dodged me. It hurted me more than anything, to know that the person whom I considered as my best friend, was ignoring me. The person whom I believed more than myself. Then also I had the courage to not stop my attempts to talk with you. I didn't lost my hope because I knew, you are hiding something from me, something big that is eating you from inside. And you still are...Isn't it?" He said as he held my teary eyes fixed at him. My mouth went dry and I felt dizzy. I was stuck in middle of my life and hell.

"I know that, you don't need to agree...and that's why, today I followed you to your house when I saw you at the grocery store, because I know, this is the only way I could get a chance to have a talk with you....tell me, why are you like this Y/n??" He said with his voice unfaltering this time as he hold me by my shoulder firmly.

I stared at him lastly, tears running down my cheeks uncontrollably cause I didn't knew what was going to unfold next after what I was going to reveal to him...I had to do it. We had enough of it, we both have been through so much already and I know it has to stop. Even if it costs my happiness, even if I've to let go of Taehyung. Maybe, after my confession he'll loose his trust in me, he'll no longer consider me as his friend, and most probably, will hate me for rest of his life.
But nonetheless, I think our friendship was bound to end like this.

My lips quivered as I silently spoke, holding his hand softly in mine and staring in his milky eyes...
" I'm sorry T-taehyung... you've to go through so much just because of me. I never meant to hurt you, nor I'll do ever, but unintentionally, even though I tried my best no to...I-i broke your trust in me. I've betrayed you T-taehyung... it was killing me from inside everyday, it still does that I can't even have the courage to look into your eyes anymore the way I used to before, cause I know I'm not worthy of it...I-i'm so sorry...I know, through how much pain you've went through in your past and I was the happiest person alive, when I came to know that I was the first person ever after your parents, whom you trusted from your heart, that I was the reason behind your smile and change in your personality, it was more than anything to know that you were back to your deserved life because of me...but now, I feel s-sorry for why I came into y-your l-life in first place...why even god let us meet...if he hadn't, then we wouldn't have been stuck in this grave situation..." I said with my voice trembling and my head hung low due to the amount of pain I was suffering from.

He stayed silent as if he wanted me to continue and so I did....
" I acknowledge each and every moment we've spent together T-taehyung as friends, you were the best thing ever that happened to me but sadly, I wasn't for you. I know, you must be thinking what am I talking about but, if you let me ask something from you for the last time, then I beg you not to ask me anything more. I think I've told you enough and you've heard enough... it's just the time, when we-e part our ways from each other and live our life just as if, we didn't knew each other before...cause, I don't want to be the cause of sorrow in your life nor I want you to grief just because of me...you deserve all the happiness of the world and remember, I'll always be happy if you will be happy too...and that's only possible, if I get out of your life before the things ger out of our hands....p-please." I said trying to be rock-hard but my voice came out crumbled as I blinked to keep away the tears from shedding.

His eyebrows were intensely furrowed because of the effort he was putting in to understand what I was saying, but before he could sink in my words completely, I decided to come to action quickly before I crippled infront of him and I pulled him by his arms, shoving him out of my flat door and was was about to shut it when he brought a hand in between, stopping me...

" W-what a-are you saying Y/n?!!...H-how c-can I-i—" He said in hurried tone but I cut him off...

" Please Taehyung!!...I beg you, leave me alone.Forget me! Just...I don't deserved to be called your best friend Taehyung... I'm again sorry, but please LEAVE!!?" I said with as much bitterness I could as my voice quivered and finally, managed to slam the door at his face.

Almost like a lightning, my body crashed on the cold floor as my heart wrenched at the thought of the final destined consequence of my miserable life, just because of my terrible feelings. The banging of door from the other side felt like it was stabbing my wounded heart...I was a weeping mess on the floor, as my crying voice wailed out in a high pitched echo across my flat, I was not even able to move a muscle, as if I was paralyzed. I closed my ears with my palm, trying to get rid of the painful noise made by Taehyung by banging on the door continuosly.
But, soon the noise stopped and I felt a rush of silence invade my heart.
The grief and the intense pain of losing someone, soon engulfed me when it hit me finally, that I had lost him forever...

Finally, the most precious thing which I wanted to save at any cost, was gone.
It's ironical in a way, that neither I was able to get rid of my feelings nor I succeeded in keeping our friendship alive.

I'm broken.

Maybe, I was always destined to be left alone in my life, in some way or other around. Firstly, I lost my First Love, My First Best Friend, my Dad.
And, then I lost My Second Best Friend, My First and last love, Taehyung.

Tears streamed down my cheeks like a never ending saga, as the world around be seemed darkly and melancholic dimmed. Somehow, I managed to drag myself up to the couch in my living room and crashed my frail body on it...I just don't wanted to see the next morning, letting this night be the last night of my life, but I knew god was never on my side from the very beginning.

Thank you so much guys for supporting me, I hope you are enjoying the story...pls, drop the comments on what you think about the story so far...
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