grief
/ɡrēf/
noun
1. deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death.

A What-if scenario of if Tang Xuan died, in the perspective of Ophelia as a close friend to Tang Yun.

***

The call that came in was devastating to Tang Yun. He was historic for a long time, to the point that even Toland stopped being a nuisance.

Ophelia listened to his sobs from the hallway. She waited for him to calm down when she finally knocked.

"Tang Yun, may I come in?"

She was met with silence.

"...yes." He finally answered.

She pushed his door open and was met with an even worse mess than his room normally was. She sighed and pushed shattered glass (how did that even get in here?) out of her path and sat by the younger.

His eyes were very red. His hair was a mess. His arms were red from where she assumed he hugged himself too hard. His ears drooped.

"I...I never..." He groaned between hiccups.

"Calm down, what happened." She said in her calming voice.

"Xuan...he's gone...and I never...I...I was so awful!" He covered his face with his hands.

She understood too well.

"How could he...? He was so...strong...how..."

She stayed silent.

"...can you take me to the funeral?"

She was taken aback.

"What?"

"I want to go to the funeral. Please take me."

"I..."

"You're the only person I trust with this."

She wanted to say no. Why would someone want to go see their dead loved one be buried forever? But when she saw the desperation in his face, she couldn't say no.

"Alright. But how is this going to help?..."

"It won't."

She blinked.

"I...just want to apologize to him."

'What a strange boy...'

*

The drive was silent. Tang Yun wore all black. Ophelia had put on all black, too, but it was more for him than anything.

Soon, they arrived at the designated spot. The scene was truly unfitting for a funeral; the sun shone through the curtain of clouds onto a field of grass, a light and hopeful scene. Many people sat in folding chairs, waiting for it to start.

She hated it.

Raven awaited for them. She watched them like a hawk while Tang Yun slipped out.

"You understand out agreement, correct?" She asked.

"Yes." Tang Yun replied.

Ophelia remembered him telling her to stay in the car unless prompted by himself otherwise. She expected a long ceremony, so she brought a book with her.

"Wait." She heard someone walking over. She peered out and saw an Esper. This Esper smiled at her.

"Won't you be joining us?" Her kind voice asked.

"...no. I don't like funerals."

"Perhaps this one will be different."

"Who are you to tell me..."

"My name is Hilda. Pleasure to meet you."

Ophelia stared for a minute. She saw Tang Yun staring back at her and Hilda. She rubbed her temples before coming out.

Tang Yun looked surprised, but didn't say a word as she sat next to him. Hilda stepped up to the podium.

"We are here to mourn the death of Tang Xuan."

She stepped off the podium as Li Ling hurried up.

"I'm not...very good at giving speeches, but this was my best friend. It's crazy to think I used to hate his guts, but...he really was an amazing guy. He taught me so much, he balanced me...he was always to kind to people, even those who don't really deserve it. He was really...so special to me, and everyone. But...he meant so much to me. There was one time, he made pudding for the whole department, and everyone loved it. I should have thanked him more, but I was too busy stuffing myself...heh, he was always cracking jokes, too..."

The whole thing was dragging on. Ophelia felt the eyes of people on her. Whatever, she didn't want to be here, they could suck it up.

Raven was speaking.

"He was a great soldier, a humble human, and most importantly, a brother."

She couldn't help but glance at Tang Yun. His head was down, hiding his face. She rubbed his back.

*

A lot of people left to go to the cemetery. Only Raven, Tang Yun, Hilda, Li Ling, and Ophelia remained.

Li Ling stood at the coffin and whispered the the corpse inside. Raven stood in the back, watching the two Shadow Guards closely.

Tang Yun sat with his head down still. His breath was heavy and his hands shaking. Hilda sat by him.

"I've heard he was your brother?"

"...yes."

"Your parents were here. Why didn't you say something to them?"

"They probably hate me." He paused. "...I was also afraid to talk to them."

"I talked to them myself. They wanted you here. They don't hate you at all. Disappointed, a little, but they never stopped loving you. In fact, they felt the same way. They thought you hated them. Seeing you came made them feel ever so slightly better."

His head came up and stared at her.

"Xuan didn't hate you, either." Li Ling spoke up. "It was honestly mind boggling how much he loved you."

Tang Yun looked over at him Li Ling he turned to look at the smaller Esper.

"He told me he wanted to find you to apologize to you."

"...about what? He never did anything wrong."

"He thought he must have, since you left."

Tang Yun was shocked. Ophelia saw it in the way he slowly got up and went to the coffin. He lightly placed his hand on the side and started down at his brother. Ophelia followed, looking down at the withering corpse.

"You're so stupid, you know? I...how could you think you did something wrong? It was me, I shouldn't have left and now I don't know the last thing I said to you."

He breathed heavily in. Tears were streaming down his face, falling onto the still hands of his brother.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

Hilda sat up quietly, staring off into the distance, as if looking at something.

"I think he forgives you." She said.

"How?" Tang Yun said bitterly. "I was the worst brother ever."

"He wouldn't think that, would he?"

Tang Yun went very quiet. Hilda smiled.

"He forgives you."

Ophelia watched Tang Yun fall to the ground. He was crying, but she saw a smile on his face too.

"It's so out there," He said to Hilda, "but I believe you. It's like he's still here..."

"Yes. Don't think of death as goodbye, think of it like a new adventure."

Li Ling turned away, wiping his eyes.

Ophelia stood in silence. A new adventure? She looked to where Hilda was looking, and almost heard a soft and beautiful voice.

"I never got to tell you how happy I met you, Ophelia. So let me tell you now..."

*

The paper birds glided out into the sky. Ophelia stared at them, her bitterness slowly drifting away with them.

"Do you think they'll really get them?" Tang Yun whispered.

"I don't know." She replied.

They watched them disappear into the night, their tender messages flying with them.

She hadn't felt peaceful in a long time. That day, she learnt what grief was. Grief wasn't something she should weaponize. It was something that should guide her into happier days.

'Death isn't goodbye, it's a new adventure.'

She smiled.

'I'll meet you again, Yassen. I promise.'