(This be spoof)

Raina: Can someone explain why we are running from a fleet of vans and helicopters?
Kira: Hmm, how about Carter tells us why? And I would also like to know why we are running towards a cliff?
Carter: Because a cliff is our strongest escape point?
Raina: But that breaks our rule due to those Ospreys keeping an eye on the cliff.
Kira: Do we surrender?
Raina: Yeah, guess so. Make them think we're ghosts.
Carter: Our links working?
Kira: Yep.
Raina: Affirmative.
Carter: Copy.
Raina: Let's get this over with.

The three teens stop at the cliff face, rocks skidding off down into the choppy water below. Headlights on the copters illuminate the silver, gold, and bronze haired trio.

Raina: Carter?
Carter: Yeah?
Raina: Don't amaze a crowd of kids with a giant fireball next time.

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Kira: These jumpsuits are horrendous.
Raina: A big 'ole eye-sore.
Carter: The big reflective flame-proof plates make mine worse.
Kira: Eee. Remind me not to pop over there.
Carter: Don't come over here. By the way, what do they have your cells with?
Raina: Well, I have boring white walls that contains a heavy metal door and a one-way mirror.
Kira: Any heat?
Raina: Yep, the shadows can give away amount, but heat identifies nine.
Carter: Huh, I only got one.
Kira: Speak for yourself. I have guys coming in with a file and a chainsaw.
Raina: Kira, I don't care about the rule anymore. These guys touch your horns, you go at 'em.
Kira: Will do.
Carter: Speaking of, I got the same set of guys you have Kira.
Raina: Shoot. Welp. I think we are all about to be promoted a few tiers on the danger-scale.

———————————————————————————

SCPs 137, 777, and 731 used to be neutrals until today. All three mauled the teams of Class-Ds that were assigned calcium/horn collections.
Note to self: No horn extraction unless you want fifteen+ Class-D's dead. (Actually would be an excuse to sign off the more problematic ones.)

I slammed the papers for the three humanoids on the battered desk in front of me. The three went from normal to berserk in a matter of milliseconds. I turned to the computer to rewind the security footage.

SCP-731 was the first one that the 1st team made contact with. Before the single millisecond was over, the team was dropping like flies.
At least they were all willing to let a recovery team get the bodies. Autopsies have found no reason for death. No poison, no bodily intrusions, no radioactive signatures, nothing.

I turned on my computer to see the first attacker. The gold-haired female had managed to make a house out of a mangled bed frame, along with the actual door to the cell. More concerned about the house, she seemed to not notice wielders come in and put in a new door.

Idiots.

I switched to the live feed of SCP-777. Somewhere the bronze-haired kid had found a pale red rubber ball, tossing it back and forth against the walls. I was shocked when he tore off a leg and a portion of the iron bed. Bending the portion of steel like wire, he played tennis against the flameproof wall.

Moving over to SCP-137, the shiny silver had managed to transform her bed into a precarious balancing act. Twisted and distorted, the 'bed' stood on a single needle point. What could be identified as mattress springs and padding were sprinkled everywhere on it, making a crude statue in a snowstorm. Perched on top was the specimen. She was currently nesting the remainder of the springs to make a tight bundle of wire.

———————————————————————————

I hate my job.

I stood in front of the glass of SCP-777. After hearing the rumors about the three, I realized that although they can kill instantly; they were just bored.

SCP-137 and SCP-731 had figured out how to swindle the metal identification plates off the Class-Ds. I honestly wasn't sure how they did it. The Class-D personal that had been stolen from all said that they never realized it was gone.

I've only seen SCP-777 do this once. Apparently he got bored by the thought of starting a collection. The one plate he did have, however, was currently being used as a large spinner.

I donned my helmet, oxygen tank + mask, and my lucky watch. Through the metal door I went.

The assignments for the three have been simple.
Go in, clean up any messes, feed them, and get out of there alive. Stepping into the holding cell, I was flabbergasted at how quickly the room was on fire.

This was fine two seconds ago.

Mask on, I continued my work.

After finishing the assignment, I headed back out. I took off my mask and my-

Where's my helmet? The tank? The watch?

I looked back at SCP-777. The room was no longer an inferno. He was busy balancing the watch on the helmet on the tank on a plate on another plate. After this was accomplished, he hopped on top, only to come falling down. I checked for my identification plate on my chest, and sure enough- it was gone.

Spying an abandoned rubik's cube on the table behind me, I slid it through the door's food slot. I watched SCP-777 go right for it.

I walked past SCP-137 sitting on her throne of steel and mattress shavings. In all four corners of the room were delicately balanced stolen plates, about five or six in each stack. Another Class-D was in there. He tried to remove a stack of plates, but dropped dead before he could. SCP-137 climbed down, and went digging for what she could find. Out came a plate, a jumpsuit, and a set of gold and silver teeth. The guy's prosthetic leg was taken as well as him metal arm.

I looked back at SCP-731. Same situation with the identification plates. I couldn't see what she dug out due to the distance, but it was something shiny.

Oy vie

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Kira: I'm booooooooooored!
Raina: Well you should have grabbed more off the guy when you killed him.
Carter: By the way, what are you planning to do with the limbs?
Raina: No clue.
Kira: This has been fun. But I am tired of this.
Carter: Thanos snap?
Raina: Creepy Thanos snap.
Kira: Good plan. Leave them with something to remember us by.
Carter: I would think the metal stealing would already do that. And the snapping of the larynx nerve for that matter.
Kira: You snap that one? I either accelerate cancer growth or cause a heart attack/stroke.
Raina: Well I'm boring. I just make them have uncontrollable nightmares to the point where they die of shock.
Kira: Yeah, but at the same time it is unique.
Carter: Is anyone else concerned that we know how to execute people in so many ways?
Raina: Hmm.
Kira: I don't think so.
Carter: Me neither.
Raina: I do have to admit that the souls here all taste burnt.
Kira: That's because most have been seasoned with murder, rape, and other nasty crimes.
Carter: Makes sense.

Kira: Who's ready?
Carter: Carter on board!
Raina: Set sail!

———————————————————————————

These three couldn't get anymore confusing.

And. It just got more so.

D***, of course they can teleport.

. . .

They left behind the jumpsuits, and of course took all the Class-D identification plates.

I hate you three. So, so much.

"Aw. You don't like us?"

"Well let us fix that."

"Don't worry. It will be over before you know it."

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*Blep*