'Hola.'

That from Cade as she slipped into the opposite chair as I sat in the cafeteria.

'Before I respond,' I raised my eyebrows, 'your brother does not want me to influence you unduly.'

'I told you, "I'll see you tomorrow" you recall?' she tossed back.

'Is he going to rant and rave again? I really don't like his aggressive manner.'

'I told him I will choose my own friends and that he must back off.'

'My word!  Didn't he freak out at that?'

'No,' she laughed, 'he has, what you say, "a soft spot for me."

'So you cunningly use it to advantage, do you?'

'Only when I want to get my way,' she lowered her voice, like a drama queen.

'You're a natural. You should take up acting__'

Her eyes flew to mine, the smile disappeared, replaced by manifest pain.

Me and my bloody big mouth!

'Cade, I'm sorry,' I reached out and covered her hand with mine, 'I did not mean to be hurtful.'

'I know you didn't,' she smiled. 'Rafe always tells me I'm a better actress than our mom. He always sees through my shenanigans, and has instructed me never to take up acting.'

'You speak English very well.'

'Rafe and I had English tutors right from the time we started walking, our mother insisted we perfect the international language of communication,' she smiled forlornly, as if remembering happier times.

'Spanish sounds so beautiful,' I tried to change the mood, 'I wish I could speak it.'

'Hola, ¿qué tal?'

'You're teaching me Spanish?' I laughed.

She nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

'Okay__hola,' I tested my Spanish, 'I forget the other part you said,' I frowned.

'¿Qué tal? It means how are you? It's spelt with a "Q" but pronounced like with a "C"'

'¿Qué tal?' I repeated slowly, 'I guess you have to teach me the alphabet first, so I can get the pronunciations,' I laughed.

She nodded again, 'what you up to?' she asked, one eye on my French fries.

'Science project,' I moaned softly, putting one French fry into my mouth. Would you like some?' I extended the plate without lifting my head that was lowered at my file.

'Yes please,' she dunked one into the tomato sauce, and then helped herself to more. 'You're not going to eat more?' she asked hopefully, with her mouth full.

I shook my head, 'I've just finished a cheese burger,' I smiled.

'Cheese burger,' she smiled dreamily, I don't know when was the last time I had one. Rafe insists we have home cooked food.'

'I tell you what,' I lowered my voice conspirationally, 'tomorrow you give me my first Spanish lesson, and I'll buy you a cheese burger.'

'Deal,' she smacked a high five with me, finishing the remaining few fries. 'Good, now I don't have to have too much dinner tonight and I saved Rafe half my sandwich, because he didn't make himself lunch as there wasn't enough bread this morning ,' she smiled as if she just solved a mathematical equation.

'I'm looking forward to our time tomorrow,' I spoke quickly, as my brain tried to process what Cade had just unwittingly revealed.

'I can't wait to give Rafe my sandwich,' she looked at her wristwatch, 'he will stubbornly refuse it, but I know he will be hungry, he was always stuffing his face with food back home, now he doesn't eat that much. I guess he's watching his figure, with all the pretty girls like you around,' she laughed.

I laughed back, 'I've never seen him with any girl from our school,' I fished.

'He says he does not have time for girls, but girls are always asking me for his number, but sometimes on a Friday he goes out on a date, with the people he works with.'

'I was so tempted to glean as much as I could from Cade, but I just could not bring myself to be so underhanded.
Besides why waste my time right? He'd never be interested in going on a date with me. Heck the guy could not bear to be on the same planet as me!

'Katy?'

'What?__yes?' I stammered.

'I said you are the only girl, who did not ask for Rafe's number, that's why I like you,' she grinned.

'No prizes for guessing why,' I shook my head.

'Maybe he likes you__'

'What? You're mad. I mean your brother can't stand me. He hates me.' And I'm babbling, my stupid heart began racing like a Ferrari engine.

'I don't know.  He's so polite and friendly with all the other girls,' she persisted.

'Why don't you start some of your homework?' I demanded.

'You sound just like Rafe,' she laughed.

'Buenas tardes Cadelaira,'

Speak of the devil!

'And why are we being so formal?' she stood up and tucked her arm into her brother's.

I didn't want to risk looking at him, so I lowered my head to my file.

'He said, "good afternoon," I looked up to see Cade grin at me mischievously.

As he greeted his sister only, I merely offered her a polite smile.

'Greet Katy,' Cade demanded.

'No__ that's okay. I have to go,' I lied. Barney was not due for another fifteen minutes.

Rafe picked up Cade's bag and turned to walk away.

'Rafe I told you to greet Katy,' she stubbornly persisted

'I said it's okay Cade,' I was becoming irritated, as Rafe glared at his sister, who raised her chin and glared back unflinchingly.

Rafe slowly dragged his eyes away from his sister, his normally brooding eyes were now dancing playfully, as his eyes locked with mine.

OMG.  I gripped the backrest of the chair.  I thought I was going to faint, from a dizzy spell.

'Good afternoon Katy,' he purred in that seductive accent.

My head swung upwards, OMG, he said my name! He said my name.
Reply back airhead!

'Hi__' I mumbled, grabbed my stuff and dashed off, 'Bye Cade,' I threw over my shoulder.

'Adios,' she waved with a satisfied smile.

Wow dear diary wait till you hear what I have to tell you, well actually you won't hear__.

'And she does not even have her ear plugs on!' April stepped in front of me.

'What?' I asked uncomprehendingly.

'I called you like a hundred times!'

What do you expect? I was in dreamland. Rafe greeted me. He spoke my name, and he sounded so sexy.

'Katy!' April hissed irritatedly.

'Have you finished your project?' I blurted the first thing I could think about.

'Yes__well almost,' she mumbled. I know she hated math and science. April preferred geography and literature.

'How's Matt?' I grinned.

'He's fine,' she gushed, we're doing a movie and popcorn tomorrow, at my home with my mom's blessing and also her watchful eye,' April laughed. 'How's it going with you?'

'I'm cool,' I smiled, 'my mom's very interested in a copy of my project, to hold against me as future incriminating evidence.'

April laughed, then groaned, 'I'm gonna be up till midnight finishing it up.'

'I have to run,' I hugged her, 'I'm sure Barney is here already.'

I shut my bedroom door, and dived onto my bed. What a lot of information to process! I hated to think that while we lived a life of extravagant luxury, Rafe counted his pennies, and sacrificed his own meals to ensure his sister had hers. But what about the money Cade said was invested? Was there money? Had Rafe just told Cade that just to make her feel reassured? Double Bay was like about the priciest place to live, why did he choose here? Not that I'm complaining, otherwise I would never have met him, if he'd settled anywhere else.

Thank heavens he did not choose Alice Springs or something, that would be far enough away from his mother. I wish there was some way I could reach out to him, but knowing how arrogant and proud he was he would be insulted by any gesture I made.

Oh Rafe! And wasn't it beautiful the way he greeted me. I wonder what it would feel like to be kissed by Rafe. I know what it feels like to be in his arms. Not that he thought much about it, to him, it had just been a dare. I bet he is a wonderful kisser. Oh I feel so embarrassed, I mean I've only had one boyfriend previously, and though we kissed, a lot, we hadn't done anything more than that. I wonder if I would remember what to do if his lips touched mine. Oh Katy you are pathetic. Why don't you get a life!

'Where have you been hiding?' Jamie demanded, when he saw me like a week later.

'What do you mean hiding?' I've been in school every day.

I've looked around, and I could not find you,' he accused.

'I'm either in the sports ground or in the cafeteria, so what's up?' I was losing interest.

'I'd like to take you to the movies tomorrow?' he replied nervously.

'No_'

'You're seeing somebody else?' he interrupted my half finished refusal.

'No, but I don't want to go on a date with you when I don't__' I hesitated to complete the sentence.

'It's just a movie Katy, I'm not forcing you to become my girlfriend.'

'Oh Jamie, why can't you find somebody else, you know__?'

'You mean somebody else whose interested, because you're not?' he challenged

'Don't try to make me feel guilty Jamie.'

'It's just a movie,' he repeated.

'Isn't that how it starts Jamie? One movie, one kiss, and then you take it for granted that we are an item? I raised my voice.

Jamie walked towards me with a mischievous grin on his face, I stepped backwards, he continued to tower over me, until I was cornered between my locker and the wall.

'You can kiss me now, and I promise I won't make any assumptions that you and I are an item,' he spoke softly.

'Kiss you? No. No way,' I babbled nervously.

'There's no harm in one kiss Katy, we're in school, we can't do much here,' he was so close to me now, we could practically be kissing.

Perhaps I could practice on Jamie, you know__if the situation presented itself with Rafe. Katy you are becoming morally bankrupt.

'One kiss__?' I whispered, recklessly.

Jamie nodded, and his lips touched mine. It felt uncomfortable. I didn't know if I wanted to open my mouth.

'Kiss me,' Jamie commanded, and then I opened my mouth, and his tongue darted in. I shifted nervously, my nose banged against his. Jamie adjusted his position, pulled me closer to him, hesitantly I placed my palms on his chest, near his shoulders. He bravely deepened the kiss, I decided to go with the flow, and my tongue touched his, then entwined with his.

'You two do know you're still in school right?' that distinctive voice was unmistakable.

I jumped away from Jamie, but he still kept his one arm around me, as if I was his possession or something.

Damn it of all the people, did it have to be him that saw us? I guess even if he was remotely interested previously, now he would never direct any interest my way, not after seeing that clumsy attempt at a kiss with Jamie.
What the hell was I doing kissing Rabbit ears Jamie, whom I was not interested in, in the slightest?

'Rafe,' Jamie moaned, 'your timing sucks man!'

'I have to go,' I mumbled, pushing at Jamie, but he gripped my arm and stated, 'I shall pick you up at five tomorrow.'

I couldn't tell Jamie, I wasn't interested in going to the movies with him. Who kisses a guy they're not interested in? I got suckered into that one all right.

'I nodded,' as I brushed past, and sped away from them, seething that Rafe saw me kiss Jamie, and more irritated that I was now compelled to go to the movies with Jamie.
I wish I could like Jamie that way, but how can I even pretend to have an interest in Jamie, when I felt this uncontrollable attraction for Rafe. Newsflash! I wouldn't think twice, if Rafe wanted to take me to bed. I'd give my innocence to him just like that, I know I'd treasure my first experience, if it was with him.

Oh Rafe, if only I could understand why you hate me so? If only you could just tell me what it is about me that you so despise.

'Matt thinks we should try out for the Double Bay Cricket Club,' Jamie informed me conversationally, as we sat at the Ranch sipping milk shakes.

It was now about six months since Jamie hijacked me to our 'first date' to the movies.

Yes I still have my maddening crush on Raphael Vega. What am doing with Jamie you may very well ask? I don't know how it happened but I began to enjoy Jamie's company. He was funny, unassuming, and sincerely liked me, but most of all he respected me, unlike Rafe who judged me by God knew who's standards, and was judge and jury in deciding I was sub human matter. And so I nurse my infatuation with Rafe privately. You may think I'm a sucker for punishment, a masochist, but if somebody has invented an on/off switch that I don't know about that can instantly make you stop feeling an attraction for another person, especially one who does not reciprocate you feelings, PLEASE tell me about it, then I'd be rid of the feelings I have for Rafe.

Don't know how it happened, but Jamie and I are unofficially a 'couple.' I repeatedly warn Jamie, that I do not want to be his girlfriend, but he always charmingly responds by saying, "okay just have a soda with me, or let's do a movie, no strings attached, or come to my soccer game." I allow Jamie to twist my arm to the Ranch or to movies, but wild horses won't drag me away from the soccer, because it's the only occasion I can indulge in my fixation for Rafe. I get to watch his beautiful body, as he runs around the field, and no one is the wiser as to why I'm there. My most precious moments are when our school plays other schools, and at the end of the game, the boys swop shirts. It's the closest I come to swooning, when I see his taut muscular chest, and that divine six pack, that none of the other boys have. I have hundreds of pictures of Rafe now that I've been secretly taking with my cell, and down loading to a file on my laptop, which I feast on every night. I know every expression on his face now. I know when he's happy, when he's angry, when he's irritated, and this last one is hard to describe, but when he's anxious on the field, he has this habit of clawing at his cheek, especially when our school team is not doing too well.

Tomorrow, we're going to the movies as 'couples.' Matt and April, myself and Jamie, who dropped the bombshell that Rafe would be joining us with his date.

Who the hell is the lucky fish?

At five Jamie knocked on the door for our movie night date. I went flying down the stairs, impatient to get to the movies. I was all dressed and waiting for Jamie, like thirty minutes early. My mom was teasing me about my nervous excitement to be with Jamie. If only she knew the truth! But I mentally tapped myself on the back that nobody suspected my secret obsession for Rafe Vega.

Is it only an obsession?
How can a person just have a mild attraction for somebody else for so long. I have been nursing my wounded heart for close on a year now. So can a seventeen year old feel something stronger than that?
Am I not too young to be feeling anything deeper?
Surely I should date at least ten more guys, before I can make an informed decision. I wish I hadn't read Shakespeare, I've kind of allowed him to indoctrinate me about those hard to analyze emotions.

The boys were in high spirits when we got to the movies. Our school had beaten a neighbouring school three nil. My hero that is Rafe off course had scored two goals, and Jamie had scored the other. Isn't that a good enough reason to fling my arms around Rafe and kiss him and say, "congratulations." If he was alone, I could have been tempted to, but when he got there with this stunning blonde, that looked like a super model.

I was devastated. I wanted to run all the way home, even though I was forewarned that he was bringing a date, I was so jealous of that 'Barbie doll' that he had his arms around so possessively, and she was also all over him, like a swimming pool, Kreepy Crawly cleaning machine.

'It must be a record for you!'

'What?' I turned around from buying myself a mineral water to look into Rafe's for reasons unknown, cold, angry eyes.

-            End Chapter Three-