I sat on the sand, watching the furious waves lap up the shore.  I was oblivious to the cold drizzle of rain making my hair look like a mop head.  I remembered exactly where Rafe had parked the car.  I remembered where he had gathered me into his embracing arms and kissed me.  I coiled my head to the direction we ‘d walked hand in hand and talked about nothing and everything.  I zipped up my drymac and put the hood over my hair.  I blew at the diamond of rain drops on the tip of my nose.  I wished I could be somewhere else, but here I was sitting on the murky sand at Bondi and not answering the repeated calls from April.

 A group of us girls had planned to backpack for a week when school closed.  We’d surfed the net, all agreed that Perth was the ideal spot for a five day hiking adventure.  Our flights had been booked and paid for.  April and I had been looking forward to trekking the Darling Ranges and take a boat out on the Swan River.  On a personal level, I wanted to view the world famous engineering feat of Mundaring Weir that my biological father had been instrumentally involved in.  April is an obsessive nature lover.  She wants to check out the Shire of Kalamuda.  I recall her raving on and on about the scenic national parks, craft galleries, local art shops, state forests etcetera, etcetera.  Now as I sat here at the beach drenched to the skin, I had no desire to go to Perth or anywhere for that matter.  I wanted Rafe.  I wanted to be with him.  I wanted to go to him.  I want him damn it.  We were due to fly out to Perth the next morning.

Two days ago, I thought about Cade accompanying us, but things have changed.  Her mom had rented a fancy town house near Sydney harbour.  Cade had not thought twice, before she’d said yes to her mother’s request for her to go and stay with her there.  I had thrown a tantrum, saying Cade was entrusted to our care.  Roger had very diplomatically informed me that Cade’s mother had legal custody of her own child over any of us.  So I’d kind of yielded.  I guess Cade was my link to  Rafe in a way, and I’d selfishly not wanted her to go. 

My darling Rafe, he’d called me last night, when he’d landed in Spain.  We’d spoken for I think two hours.  I don’t know, I did not count, though it seemed like five minutes.  Before he’d ended the call,  I’d told him again that I love him, and again he’d not reciprocated the words, but it did not matter.  When he comes back, he will.  I know he will.  I had not told Rafe his mom was here.  Mom had told me I should not mention anything, as it was not my place to do so.  I knew Rafe was going to call Cade after he spoke to me, so it was up to her to drop that bombshell.

My phone rang again, I saw April's number reflect on the screen and clicked the answer button.  I waited patiently until she completed ranting about the fifty millions calls and text messages I’d ignored.  When my noticeable silence became obvious to her, she very softly made her enquiry.

‘Katy what on earth’s the matter?’

Knowing she can be annoyingly persistent, you would have gauged that from her fifty million calls, I proceeded to inform her about Rafe’s departure.  She was quiet for so long, I looked on the screen to see if we were still connected.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, ‘and here I am blabbering on and on.’

‘That’s okay,’ I half smiled, ‘why don’t you and the rest of the gang go on ahead?  I’m really just going to spoil things, in the mood I’m in __’

‘Katy you’re not bailing out on us!’ she instructed.   ‘We’ve paid.  You’ve paid.  You said you’re bringing Cade.’

‘April please__.  I just don’t feel like the trip anymore.  I don’t want company__’

‘Will moping bring him back this minute, or this day, or this week?’

Trust you April to cut to the chase.

When I did not responded, she continued with her interrogation.

‘Where are you Katy?’

‘Not at home.’

‘If I punch “not at home” on the GPS, will it lead me to you?  I could tell there was a smile on her face.

I laughed.  I should go home and change before I caught pneumonia.

‘Katy the Satnav is showing me an error message?’

She was talking nonsense because she did not even possess any navigational instruments.

‘I’m at Bondi,’ I reluctantly conceded.

‘It’s raining Katy!’

Wow, Newsflash!  Should have told me that before I left home.

‘This may come as a surprise April, but when you come to the beach, there is that remote possibility that you will get wet.’

‘Oh she still has her sense of humour, there’s hope,’ April giggled

‘April, you and the gang have a good trip.  I’ll talk to you next week.’

I cut the call and switched off my cell, before I heard another nagging word.

 I shivered uncontrobaly as I hurried back to my car.  I prayed mom would not be there when I got home, or she was going to give me a right royal dressing down for being so irresponsible.  My seat was soaking wet.  It was going to have a foul stench for a few days, I’m sure.  I managed to sneak up to my bedroom before I was spotted by anybody. 

Yippee!

I peeled off all my clothes and hopped into the steaming shower.  When my body  was sufficiently warmed up, I wrapped myself in a robe and wrapped my hair in a bath towel. 

I wished I had contact with Rafe.  He had informed me that they had to hand in their mobile phones and were only allowed to make calls every Friday evening. I’d have to wait a whole five more days to hear his voice. 
Oh s#*t my glass is empty. that sucks! 
I grinned to myself and bit on my lower lip.

I dived onto my bed and opened my secret file on my laptop.  This file was classified, it had a password of symbols, so nobody would ever break into it, and I changed the password every week.  I opened the folder and page after page opened, showing me shots of Rafe in every mood and every pose on the soccer field.  There was one of him poking his tongue out as his left foot darted the ball into the net.  The euphoria on his face after that in the next photo was contagious, it brought a smile to my face.

‘Surprise!’

My door burst open, April and the whole gang marched in.  I quickly closed the file and snapped the laptop shut.

‘What__what the hell are you all doing here?’  I dived to my closet.  ‘I’m not dressed for visitors.  Why did mom let you animals up here?’

They all laughed making themselves comfortable on the floor as I slipped on a pair of jeans and a T.  I removed the towel from my hair and just ran my fingers through the tangled mess.

‘Katy we’re all in agreement,’ April started.

‘It can’t be “ALL” I interrupted her, because firstly I don’t know about what, and secondly, I have not agreed, so I don’t know what you are all in agreement about!

‘Okay,’ she nodded, with  a glint in her eyes.

Now why do I get the feeling I’m being set up?

‘Last month we all agreed we’re going back packing to Perth right?

Yes, I agree.  That was before Rafe.

‘That’s right,’ I cautiously conceded.

‘Last month we all paid,’ she emphasized, ‘for our flight.’

She should become an attorney.  She was good with the cross questioning stuff.

‘And we agreed to spend just five days together and the rest with our families,’ another friend reminded me.

‘That’s right,’ I repeated.

‘So tomorrow is our flight to our Perth adventure,’ another friend added.

‘The flight is tomorrow, that’s right,’ I conceded for the third time.

‘So we’re all in agreement,’ April yelled, clapping her hands.

‘Look, I’m not requesting a refund.  Please just go on ahead__’

‘We’re not going without you,’ one of them pouted.

‘We’re not leaving your room, until you agree you’re coming,’ another ganged up on me.

‘Katy if you don’t come, we’re not going,’ April declared.

Oh go on then, make me feel guilty, why don’t you!

‘Guys this is not fair,’ I pleaded.

‘You’re being unfair, we planned this together,’ I was accused.

‘Katy,’ April murmured.  ‘We have six weeks of holiday, we’re asking you for five days.

She emphasized the six and the five as if implying I could use the other five weeks to mope around.

‘Fine,’ I murmured, ‘I’m coming.’

Yay! 

April was jumping up and dancing, and the others joined her hugging me and dancing around me.    I felt like a human sacrifice at a witches feast.

Surprisingly the hike was going extremely well.  It was our third day. We had a rustic self catering cottage for ourselves.  The first evening we went to bed hungry, exposing our lack of barbecuing skills by burning our dinner.  It resembled the charcoal, when we removed it from the fire.  We shared two packs of pretzels, and a chocolate bar amongst ourselves.

 I have to concede this was kind of therapeutic.  Perth is such a beautiful city.  A mixture of urban life, outdoor bliss, the mountains, the forests.  I was actually enjoying myself.  Last night around the fire, in an emotional moment, I thanked my friends for dragging me out here.  They’d all laughed and hugged me again.  I have to say our cooking skills improved by the third day.  We became rather  efficient at cooking bacon and eggs, and would you believe our barbecuing skills was near perfection, if our empty plates were any indication.  Or was that because we were ravenous after six hours of hiking under the extreme heat of the sun, and would have eaten raw meat to satisfy our ravishing hunger? 

‘Honey, you’re so sun burnt!’ mom hugged me as she collected us from the airport.

‘Oh mom, we had such a wonderful time,’ I laughed.

‘Did you?’ she laughed, ‘you are all so dark skinned and like you’ve lost some weight.  ‘Somebody might comment you were in a concentration camp.’

‘Oh we ate lots, hiked lots and had lots of fun,’ they all chirped.

‘We’re experts at barbecuing now,’ April laughed.

‘Really?  This I have to see,’ mom grinned.

‘You can put us to the test,’ another of my friends challenged.

‘All right then you’re on,’ mom invited, ‘tomorrow evening you’re all making dinner'.

Mom looked at me as if to see if I was cool with having company.  I smiled and nodded.   She nodded back as if pleased with my response.

I fingered Rafe’s chain around my neck.  You would not know how much I treasure this.  Not because of its value.  I don’t know its actual value, but if it cost more than my car, then hell that was a lot of money.  I treasure it because of the precise moment he gave it to me.  I can still picture the look on Rafe’s face, as he ripped it off his neck.  The contorted muscles on his face, his naked body over mine.  He wanted to give me something of him, before he took me, even though he was not my first. 

I love you my darling. 

Tonight I will be able to hear his voice.  Tonight I will talk to Rafe for the whole night, or until our mobile batteries die on us.  I hauled out my phone and called Cade, inviting her to our barbecue evening.  She was ecstatic and immediately accepted.

‘Rafe!’ I squealed, clinging tightly to my phone.

‘How are you querida?’ I could just picture that sexy smile on his face.

‘Darling I miss you so much.  I wish __ I wish you could carry me to my bed.  We could have__.’

‘Are you trying to torture me querida?’ I heard him groan into the earpiece.

‘Rafe I don’t think I can survive.  I can’t wait five more months.  It’s so long,’ I sobbed.

‘Katy,’ his voice was stern. ‘You will be strong.  You have to.’

‘I can’t Rafe.  I can’t.  It’s only one week since you’re gone, and it feels like hell.’

‘Querida__’ he was crooning in Spanish.  Saying charming words to me.  Some of it I understood.  Telling me, I’m beautiful and strong and how proud he was of me.

‘You’re beautiful too,’ I whispered.

‘You think I can start wearing a bikini and modeling on the ramp?’ he teased.

I laughed, knowing  what he was trying to do.

‘Tell me what you've been doing?’ he murmured.

‘The girls and I went hiking in Perth for five days,’ I smiled through my tears.

‘Oh, meet anybody interesting?’ he questioned.

‘No, and I was not looking,’ I laughed again.

‘Good,’ he pretended to be serious.

‘Oh Rafe I had an awesome time.  I didn’t want to go.  I was so miserable after you left, but the girls would not take no for an answer, and I actually enjoyed it.’

‘I’m pleased to hear that querida.  I don’t want you sitting at home as if you’re attending a funeral.  Go out, do things, keep busy,’ he instructed, ‘that way the time will seem to go faster.'

‘Okay,’ I murmured.

‘I have something of yours,’ I could picture that sexy smile again.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘Aren’t you missing anything?’ he asked cryptically.

Not that I take inventory of my stuff to even figure out what’s missing!

‘I give up,’ not even attempting to guess what he may have, and it does not matter what he took.  He’s my Rafe, he could have it with the greatest of pleasure.  After all don’t I have his most valuable possession?

‘Querida when I dressed you again that night.  I did not put all your clothes back on.

‘OMG Rafe!  You have my underwear?’ I whispered that last word, in case somebody could hear.

I heard him give a hearty chuckle.  Oh it sounded so adorable.

‘Darling, I can’t believe you took my underwear.  OMG that is so embarrassing.  I mean it’s not even my best one.’

‘It’s the one I wanted querida,’ he assured me firmly.

‘But it’s not silk, or lace, or black or red.’

‘It’s folded in my pocket, even when we have uniform inspection in the morning.’ I could tell there was a naughty glint in his eyes.

‘And what do your friends think about your crazy uniform accessory?’ I laughed.

‘Nobody knows.’

I’m sure the expression on his face would have implied “Are you mad?”

I could not believe how far my relationship with Rafe had progressed.  Oh yes we are in a relationship, even though he may not have formally spoken the words, but I am his as he is mine.

                                                                   -       -      end chapter twenty eight-