'Hey this is my turf,' I half smiled to a forlorn looking Nate Jenkins. This is the school's sexiest super stud. The hottest bod in the school according to popular opinion. I beg to differ. So why is he howled down in my favourite sanctuary of the school.

This is where I met Jeff. This is the tree where Rafe and I found Cade snuggled under that evening she was missing. This was my sanctuary, I needed it now, like you would not believe.
  I have just done the dastardly thing and broken up with Jeff.  And believe me when I tell you Jeff went ballistic. He had yelled at me and asked me to get out of his sight. He was pounding his fists on his locker door, like he actually wanted to pound those fists on my face. I felt so ashamed, embarrassed, worthless. How could I have done that to Jeff?  But how could I dictate to my wayward heart, I was powerless?

And amazingly the image that would not clear from my mind was, of Ally calmly sliding in front of Jeff's locker and closing her hands over his fists, and me seeing their eyes lock, and visibly see the angry tension subsiding from Jeff's body, before Jeff tore his eyes away from Ally, and stormed out of the school. I was not jealous at all, obviously not, with my heart set on Rafe.  But boy when did that happen? Did they just figure it out? It had to be with Jeff reacting so violently to me breaking up with him.
Dare I hope Ally is over Rafe? Oh dear Lord, I must be the most insensitive scum__.

 'What do you want Katy?' Nate shot me an irritated look.

You're invading MY turf!
I wanted to respond nastily to Nate, except the look of tortured anguish on his face stopped me. I mean what was up with our superstar? Wasn't he spoilt for choice on who to bang next or what? But instinctively, I was aware that something was not right. And Nate's hands were shaking, like an addict who needed a fix.

 'Nate what's wrong?' I dropped down next to him.

 'Nothing, and I don't need company,' he hissed.

 'Nate__' I reached out and touched his hand.

 'Don't touch me Katy__ you can get it too,' he yelled.

 'Nate! What the hell are you talking about?'

 He was spooking me. I mean he was always this arrogant, over confident, jerk that thought he was God's gift to every virgin in Sydney, now he was behaving like a lunatic.

 'Nate,' I cried out, 'please tell me what's wrong.'

 "What's wrong?" He laughed, he had that glazed look, like somebody about to breathe their last breath of life.

 'Nate, please you're scaring me,' I pleaded.

 'You're scared! How do you think I feel? My life is over,' a muffled sob rang from his throat.

 'What happened?' I whispered.

 He seemed to struggle to talk, he looked like he wanted to cry, but fought it away angrily. He looked at me, looked away, then looked at me again.

 'You were probably the only girl immune to my charms eh?' he smiled sadly.

 Perhaps if Rafe were not.

 'At least you're one less girl I have to be concerned about.'

 'Concerned about? I picked up on that one word.

 'In the past month, I 've not been on form on the field,' he started. 'The coach asked me to go see the doctor. I shrugged it off, ignored it, until last week, when I blacked out on the field.'

 I listened quietly, wanting to give him an ear. He was talking, not to me, not looking at me, just staring into space and giving voice to his thoughts.

 'I've lost twenty kilograms,' he spoke softly, 'my immune system was low all the time. The coach instructed me to do a dope test.'

 'Are you on some __substance?' I asked.

 'No. I've never touched any kind of drug in my life. Football is my life. I knew I had to be clean.'

 'Then what happened?' I prompted softly.

 'The doctor took some blood tests,' his tone was angry. 'It turns out, it's not drug related, but too much sex!' he covered his face with his hands.

 'Nate!' I cried, 'what are you telling me?'

 'I'm dying Katy. I'm HIV positive.' He sobbed, 'I don't know which girl to start telling first.'

 The world stopped. I went still. I stopped breathing. My mind went blank. Eventually everything around me started to move very slowly, but in shades of black and grey.

 'Are you sure Nate? Are you sure?' I put my arms around him, to console him.

 'You shouldn't get close to me,' he pushed me away.

 'Don't be silly Nate, it's not contagious that way, only if your blood fell into an opened wound of mine, and you know __through sexual intercourse.'

 'Katy,' he smiled, cupping his palm to my cheek, 'you're such an innocent, you can't even speak the word sex, can you?'

 Er not as innocent as you think.

 'Nate you need to seek professional counseling__'

 'What good is that? I'm dying Katy. That's not going to cure the disease!'

 'People live with HIV and AIDs Nate, not everybody dies from it. If you follow professional advice, you will live ten to fifteen years at minimum.'

 A light went on somewhere in his head, 'how do you know this?'

 'We had to do a project last year,' I laughed.

 'So I'm not going to die in like the next three months?'

 'No,' I whispered, 'not if you follow professional advice.'

 'How am I going to tell all the partners I had, 'he whispered.

 'Did you never use protection?'

 'I did most times,' he looked down, 'but sometimes you know, it happened unplanned.'

 'I don't know how you're going to do it Nate, but you owe it to those girls, they have a right to know. To get tested, and to prepare themselves for the eventuality.

'Katy!' I was stunned to hear Rafe's voice calling me.

 'Oh boy!'

I did not realize I spoke that aloud.

 'Don't tell him yet,' Nate pleaded.

 Is Rafe thinking something is going on between Nate and I?

 I jumped up and ran to Rafe. His eyes looked cold, angry, accusing.

 'Rafe it's not what you think__'

 'No?' he cut me off with a disbelieving glare, and that arching eyebrow.

 'Please__' I whispered.

 Rafe glared at me, and pointedly lowered his eye to my hand as if to tell me to get my hand off him, but I wouldn't.

 'I found Nate sitting here,' I whispered.  'I__I broke up with Jeff.'

 'I heard.  The whole school's talking about it,' but his eyes were shuttered, the face a mask, I could not read anything.'

 'I just came here for some peace and quiet, and found Nate here. He__ he does have a serious problem, but I can't speak about it. He asked me not to,' I pleaded.

 I followed Rafe's eyes, as he stared at Nate, who was unfocused, just staring into space, not even acknowledging Rafe or me anymore. Rafe stood there, looking thoughtful, no more angry.

Please God, let him believe me.

 Then he looked at me, as if he was studying me, not sure whether I was being truthful or not.

 'I beg you to believe me,' I spoke softly, 'I would not lie to you,' 

'Come,' he slid his fingers through mine, 'your mom is waiting in the car park.'

 The smile that etched on my lips froze. The joy that had filled my heart turned to acid indigestion. I yanked my hand out of his, feeling nauseous and simultaneously drew my mobile out of my jacket pocket.

 'Katy?' Rafe questioned uncomprehendingly.

 I switched my cell on, and saw there were two calls from mom, and one from Andy. Well at least mom won't be suspicious about who I was with, for she sent Rafe to find me.

 'So you came to find me, because my mom is here looking for me?'

 'Yes,' he looked irritated, 'she said you're not answering your cell.'

 So he didn't come for me, even though he'd heard I'd broken up with Jeff.
What did you think Katy,  that he was going to run into your arms? If he wanted you he could have had you six months ago, or a year ago, IF he wanted to have a relationship with you.

 'Excuse me,' I shoved him out off the way and began to run like the wind.

 'Katy?' Rafe called out, running after me.

 'Just leave me alone Rafe,' I just ran faster, until I slid into the limo and found myself next to mom, Andy across from us. Rafe had just come to the car park and stopped dead, slamming his palms on his hips. I think he's spending too much time in mom's presence.

 'Katy honey are you okay?' Mom saw the troubled look on my face.

 'Katy, is it true you broke up with Jeff,' Andy mumbled.

 Since the whole school already knows, and Jeff obviously won't be visiting anymore, I suppose I could answer Andy.

 'Yes,' I responded softly, and just kept my head lowered.

 Mom did not say a word, but just in typical mom fashion, she reached out, and closed her palm over mine.

 'l'm sorry, Katy,' Andy spoke quietly.

 Sometimes he could be sweet and real sensitive, like a brother, like now.

 'Thanks,' I looked up at him, offered a half smile, and looked across at mom, who just nodded almost imperceptibly, and her eyes seemed to relay, that I'd done the right thing.

 'I'll be in my room, ' I mumbled to nobody in particular.

 Mom did not say a word, Andy was not giving me his usual two bit unwanted comments.

 So what now Rafe? Do I stand a chance with you or not? Are you interested in  me or not?

The next morning as I walked into school, I was treated by hushed silences and murmurings along the corridor. I mean I felt like the social outcast. I scanned around looking for April, but she was also nowhere to be seen. I saw Ally in the cafeteria, sitting alone sipping a coffee, she looked preoccupied. I quickly selected the books I needed for the morning classes, and plucked up the nerve to go to Ally.

 'Is this strictly a friends only zone, or may I join you?' I spoke softly.

 Ally looked up at me, a thousand different emotions seemed to be running through her mind, and reflected in her eyes.

 'Perhaps later__' I turned to walk away.

 'Katy no,' she jumped up and gripped my arm.

 'I'm sorry about me and Jeff,' I blurted.

 'Why you apologizing to me?' She laughed in confusion.

 I shrugged my shoulders, I guess what I should have been honest about to her is my feelings for Rafe. I should level with her about that.

'Sit,' she pushed me onto a chair, with a grin.

 'Ally is something going on between you and Jeff?' I murmured.

 She looked into my eyes for such a long time, as if trying to read me, before she could say anything, then she picked up her coffee with both hands.

 'Did you break up with him, because you were suspicious?' she questioned.

 So this is how it's going to roll, she and I were going to dance around each other answering questions with questions. Perhaps I should start__

 'I don't know how or when it happened Katy.'

 I swung my head up in total surprise, here I was trying to pluck up the courage to come clean, and she beat me to it.

 'Actually I lie,' she offered me an apologetic smile. 'God, I need a cigarette,' she looked around.

 She'd have to wait, there's no smoking allowed in school, or weed or alcohol, or having sex, or invading the showers of the opposite sex, but we break some of the rules, we can get away with it.

 'Actually I felt it when we were in Indianapolis,' she murmured, looking into space. 'I tried to fight it for your sake Katy,' her palm covered mine.

 I reached out with both my hands and covered her palm. Ally looked surprised, she felt as if she was undeserving of my response.

 'Katy, If I must be honest with you, I think I've been attracted to Jeff for half my racing life, but denied it completely,' she laughed, like she was embarrassed. 'I've never met anybody so selfless,' she smiled. 'And the thing is he never pays me a compliment, even if I kick his butt in a race. His first infuriating comment to me always after a race is what I'd done wrong, and how much faster I could have finished if I did that and that, the correct way. Eventually I found that I was looking for his affirmation after every race,' she looked into the depths of her coffee.

 I just sat there processing everything Ally told me, feeling for her, wanting to throw my arms around her and comfort her, but before I do anything of the sort. I needed to be honest with her about Rafe, especially now.

 'I guess I never thought he'd look at me, seeing I'm a confirmed tomboy.'

 Her words shocked me to the core. I mean did Ally not realize how attractive she was? She was beautiful from the inside out, with good wholesome features.

 'I guess I was misguided about my feelings for Rafe,' she groaned. 'I saw myself in Rafe, saw the similarities, saw a fiercely independent individual who wanted to take the world by storm, just like me. And Rafe is so very, very sexy, so attractive__.

 Spare me the details PLEASE!

 'I guess I channeled all my feelings for Jeff to Rafe,' she wrinkled her nose, disgusted at herself. Katy it was so hard for me in the USA, working so closely with you and him, but as far as the race goes, I had your one hundred percent interest at heart,' she assured me.

 I nodded, nobody could convince me otherwise. I was fully persuaded of her allegiance to me there.

 'You know during that investigation__.'

 I groaned loudly, reached out and pressed my palm to her arm, wanting her to know, it was a bad case of providence.

 'When I thought Jeff even entertained the idea that I could have done something to harm you winning, I ran outside, trying to figure out how I could get to an airport and escape,' she smiled, her eyes becoming glassy.

 'He never accused you, ever,' I whispered.

 'I know,' she swiped her index finger quickly across her eyes.

 When I raised my eyes questioningly, she breathed heavily and said, 'You remember when the one cop, said Jeff may want to press assault charges against me, and I stupidly provoked him to do it?'

 I nodded, after running that scene through my head, I belatedly realized that I should have noticed the sparks between them, were in play from then.

 'I was pacing outside that place, silently cursing myself for not being able to control my feelings for Jeff when one of those cops was out there, and he grinned at me.

 'When I questioned him, he said to me, Jeff told them, ' I am innocent, and he would stake his life on that fact.'

 My mouth flew opened, my eyes widened like two huge saucers. Jeff never mentioned any of this, okay but unfair evidence placed Ally at the scene which he needed to refute with the video material. Thank God for the video material.

 'If it's any consolation Ally. I never doubted your innocence for one second,' I reassured her.

 'Thank you, that's why I feel like a traitor where you're concerned. But yesterday when I saw Jeff inflicting all that pain on his wrist, I just could not endure watching,' she whispered. 'And I saw; you observed the exchange between us,' she pulled her hands away, and crossed her hands around her own arms.

 'Ally please can I set your mind at ease?  Can I be honest with you?'

 She nodded, unconvinced, that I could say anything to make her feel worthy.

 'I did break up with Jeff.  I should have done it months ago,'

 She looked shocked, uncomprehending.

 'L__like you, ' I breathed heavily, 'I was attracted to somebody else,' I half smiled, and rubbed at an imaginary spot on the table.

 'You see, I only went out with Jeff, because I knew the other guy would never ask me out__?'

 'What? Are you mad? You're hot__'

 I laughed, lowered my head. 

Oh boy, Ally sometimes hot just ain't enough!

 'You're beautiful, you're amazing,' she added as if she heard my unspoken thoughts.

 'Next time I need an ego boost, I'll know where to come,' I quipped.

 'Don't sell yourself short Katy. You're a girl in a million, ask any guy.'

 If I can hear that from just one specific pair of lips, I'd believe you.

 'Okay who's the bozo? Let me give him a taste of my left jab__'

 The very jab that dropped Jeff in the USA. Stay away from my Rafe!

'I'm kidding,' she grinned, 'I was just teasing,' she added, when she saw the dreaded fear in my eyes. 'So who is he?' she demanded.

 'It's__. It's __. Please don't judge me Ally,' I begged.

 'I would never do that,' she gripped my hand assuringly.

 'It's Rafe,' I mumbled so softly, I was hoping she never heard it.

 'My Rafe!'

 So much for not judging me!

 'I mean my ex Rafe,' she laughed hysterically, as if suddenly a light came on somewhere.

 'What's so funny?' I hissed.

 'It's you Katy!' she pointed an accusing finger at me.

 'What do you mean, "It's me."

 'I always suspected he carried a torch from somebody else. It's you,' she accused.

 'What!' I exclaimed, I could hear fireworks going on around my heart. I could see a horizon. I could see the sun blazing beautifully__.

 'You're mad!' I accused.

 'We'll see,' was all she said nodding her head.

 'You're not going to tell on me, are you Ally? I don't want him to know. Look I know and he knows there's an attraction between us, but we, he__, I__.'

 'You're babbling,' she laughed, cutting me off.

 'Yes I am,' I mumbled through my hands covering my face.

 'I never want to lose your friendship Katy.'

 I dropped my hands to see, Ally looking at me so sincerely, a beautiful smile on her face.

 'I want us to be friends as well,' I stood up and threw my arms around her and we hugged each other, like we'd not seen each other for like years.

                -end chapter twenty-