(Originally posted April 7, 2013)

The End

So I guess that is it.

Wow.

I can't believe it is done.

In a way, I'm going to miss it. It has been an adventure the whole way. I wish I could say it has been pleasure, all the way. It hasn't. In the beginning, I was very leery about doing this, as I am sure I have said before.

I would never have done it without the support of my wonderful husband and as time went by, the support of my darling Zoey, my Auntie Sheila, Uncle Peter and of course Nicki.

They all assured me that by telling my story, I could possibly help someone who was going through the same shit that I was going through.

If any of you amazing people out there take anything from my story, take this.

You are not alone.

Even when I felt that the whole world had closed in on me and there was nothing left, there was.

I was not alone.

I had a whole group of people that not only were there for me, but who loved me and who would do anything to see that I was ok.

I realize sometimes that there seems like no other way out, but believe me, there is.

Even the darkest night can give way to the most glorious sunrise.

I was never alone. I just had to ask.

I look at these wonderful people now and I wonder what would there lives have been like without me.

Jay said it best...

"I would have no life."

To think that people love me so much brings me to tears.

I cherish every day I am alive and I cherish all those who are part of my life.

Just in case you may want to know.

On January 1st, 2004, there was a wonderful double wedding.

I got married to my wonderful Jay.

Zoey married Dylan.

We had a honeymoon together at a wonderful resort in Mexico. A resort we go back to almost every year.

August 19, 2004.

I gave birth to my darling J.J. Jay Junior.

November 1, 2004

I became a grandmother. Zoey had a baby boy Jake.

July 3, 2006

I had twins. Yes twins. Two girls. Robbie (Roberta) and Tina (after my mom)

August 17, 2006

Grandma again. Zoey had a little girl August (Augustine).

I keep bugging her about her lack of originality.

There is happiness in this world. Even when there seems like there is no way out, there is.

There are people there for you, always.

Never forget that.

I want to thank all of you that have followed my story. It has made this all worth while. Your comments and kind words have helped me tell about the darkest time in my life. Thank you.

Finally....

Bill.

What can I say?

I love you.

You have handled this whole story with such tenderness and dignity. It could have been a tragic story that made me look like some pathetic loser, but you presented it in such a way, that you actually made me proud to present it to others.

I cannot even begin to imagine how many hours you have spent sifting through hours of interviews, hundreds of emails and phone calls galore. Thank you, my friend. You have made me feel so proud to present this story. To the point where I feel sorry that this whole thing is over.

But I am so happy that we have reconnected on a level that will keep us close for the rest of our lives.

So...

Sadly I say goodbye. Thank you.

I love every one of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zara's words

June 11, 2015

It has been over two years since this story was posted.

Life has continued on and in all honesty. It is fucking amazing.

Auntie She and Uncle Peter are enjoying their retirement and they often have their hands full with their 5 grand babies.

They bitch sometimes, but they love every minute they have.

Zoey and Dylan are wonderful.

Jay invested in Dylan's business and the family run fabrication shop now employs almost 50 people and is one of the best in the area. they have expanded so big that Dylan now spends most of his time managing and his Dad just sells.

Zoey has taken an interest in computers again and is working with some of Jay's IT people, learning the tricks of the trade.

She has some amazing ideas that Jay is very interested in.

I am so proud of her and Dylan.

Jake is a charm.

Now 10 years old, he is deep into sports. Baseball and soccer all summer and hockey all winter.

He is the biggest of all of the kids.

Augustine ....

OMG. What can be said about her.

She will soon be 9 going on 19.

Years ahead of her classmates in school. She is fucking seriously intelligent. I mean scarily so.

You often forget her age when talking to her.

J.J.

Like Jake, he is deep into sports. But he likes hockey the best and he spends all his time improving his game. He is quite good and even his coaches think he has a future.

Of course I am the proud Mama and as far as i am concerned, he ROCKS.

Robbie and Tina.

Inseparable. They do everything together.

They will soon be 9 years old and they have both asked for instruments for they birthday. Robbie wants a guitar and Tina wants drums.

Jay just rolls his eyes, but he has already set up a soundproof room in the basement for all the kids.

Jake and JJ both play guitar and believe it or not Augustine plays bass.

Can you say future Rock Stars.

They are incredible children, all of them and they all get along and love each other.

AND they are all so happy about the latest addition to the clan.

Zoey had another child.

Serenity Zara.

Born March 17, 2015.

She is absolutely gorgeous and all the other kids adore her.

Nicki and Will are amazing and Jamie is turning 16 this year and she is an absolute beauty.

She babysits for us from time to time and the boys just love her. It is the best behaved time we ever see them.

And then there is Jay.

Nearly 12 years and I honestly must say that I love the man more now than I ever have.

he is my rock, my soulmate, my friend, my lover....

MY WORLD.

There are not enough words in the English language to describe how I feel about him.

I LOVE HIM.

And as for me.

I am fine.

I still have issues with my feet from time to time, but I look at it as simply a reminder of what I went through. But it is a good reminder because I don't think I would be where I am today, if I had not went through all of that.

My life is a dream. I kid you not.

I don't have a single complaint.

And that is why I will finally allow Bill to work with me on my 5 year journey...

if there are still people who feel they will be interested.

We will talk Bill.

Well that pretty much is it, although Bill does have some other interviews he wants to post and he even wants to talk to the kids.

Good luck with that.

So, once again, I want to thank all of you out there who have read this story.

And Bill ...

I love you.

Zara