I was drifting, suspended in a void that felt quite familiar. Words and sensations passed by me like ascending bubbles in a black lake. I shrunk back from them, though I didn't know why. Something told me I should stay away.

Then one seemed to reach out for me. I couldn't avoid it, even though I tried to. With its phantom touch, horrible pain rushed through me, and I was wrenched back into consciousness.

Pounding, relentless pounding in my skull, striking with each beat of my heart. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been in so much pain. I groaned and tried to clutch my head, but it was like my limbs wouldn't obey. Finally I opened my eyes, only to be met with a small, mostly dark room. The faint glow from an oil lamp provided the only light, illuminating the wooden walls, floor, and ceiling. I was laying on my side on a bed, the mattress bare.

There was hardly any feeling in my arms, probably because I was laying on them strangely. Well, at least one of them. What I could feel was a tightness around my wrists. Confused, I twisted them, attempting to pull them apart, only for them to be met by resistance and the scratchiness of fibers digging into my skin. My heart dropped at the realization that I was bound. Looking down, I could see the ropes that also tied my ankles together.

Panic started to set in, chilling my blood. How the hell did I get here? Why was I tied up? I tried to think back, but there was nothing. In fact, the longer I thought, there wasn't anything there at all.

Wait... who was I?

Fear fractured through me, churning my insides and adding to the nausea already caused by the pain in my head. No, this couldn't be happening! Why couldn't I remember anything? I bit my tongue and forcibly calmed my breathing. But I couldn't stop my racing heart. There had to be something, right? Then ever-so slowly, things started coming to me.

My name is Lotario Ainalani Ne'igalomeatiga. I'm an Ice magician, born and raised in Iris Village on Verelum. I was separated from my family during a bandit attack after shipwrecking on Tranquelum, and I suffered amnesia. I was eventually taken in by the Nosek family, and I adopted the name Loto Nosek. Kari Noma was my best friend, Dew is my partner, Cyryl Nosek is like a sibling to me...

I took a deep, shuddering breath. It was all still there, it'd just taken a moment to come back to me. Still, I couldn't remember how I'd gotten here. All I could remember was Rangi. But what about him? I gritted my teeth as I tried to think. No, there simply wasn't anything there. I just couldn't remember!

A creak then sounded from the door as it opened. I craned my neck to look at the door, a feeling of relief hitting me when Rangi ducked inside. He was barely able to stand upright in the room when he straightened up.

"So you did awake," he said with a sigh. "Do you recognize this place? You should. It turns out when you save up enough incos, you can have any ship repaired, no matter how wrecked it is. It's a relief that only the bow was damaged, hm?"

   Confusion struck me. "Wh-what?" What did he mean by that? And why was he talking so loudly? If I was tied up, then obviously I'd been captured by someone, and Rangi had likely been included in it. If he was free, then he should've been trying to get me out as well. "Rangi, c'mon. Hurry up and untie me!" I hissed.

Rangi's eyes narrowed as he frowned. "And why would I do that? You'd just attack me like you were about to previously."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Wait..." he started. "You don't... You don't remember? Did I really hit you that hard?"

I was so confused now. But with the confusion came an instinctive wariness that heightened it. Why was I worried? I stuttered for a moment before I could speak again. "Wh-what's happening, Rangi?" I couldn't keep the fear out of my voice.

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Well, I suppose I've already said too much to try and start over. I can't make lightning strike twice." He looked at me. "What's happening is that I'm righting a wrong. I was the one who tied you up, and I was the one who knocked you unconscious in the first place. After all, if you have a younger brother, you have to devise ways of keeping him out of your hair."

"You did this?" I again tried to pull at my restraints to no avail. "Why? What did I do to you?"

"Nothing, and everything," he said.

I stared at him, utterly baffled.

"Do you know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you love?" he asked. "That was what I felt when Father married Natia. Betrayal." He shook his head. "I can admit now that I've lied about several things since we reunited. But they were all for a good reason, I can assure you."

My heart dropped. "Lied..?"

"Yes. I knew I'd struck gold when you told me you had amnesia. I could lie to you all I wanted, made sure you came back with me. But then those filthy jinx-flingers threatened to ruin my plans. Because of that, here we are."

Lied... No, that couldn't be it. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to go home with Rangi, reunite with Guella, live out the rest of our lives, not this. "St-stop jokin', Rangi," I said, a nervous laugh escaping me. This was all a joke, right? Some sick joke.

Rangi's gaze was unflinching and cold. "I'm not joking," he said. "This is truly happening, Lotario. I deceived you, I've been deceiving you this whole time."

No, that can't be true. I searched his face for any signs of wavering, but it remained the same. He really wasn't joking. A sick feeling filled me. "Wh... why?" I asked, afraid to know the answer.

"You'd like to know the truth? I suppose I can tell you," he said with a shrug. "To start with, I actually do know my mother's fate. Would you like to know as well?" He didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "In Primrose City, a black market circulates, managed by several crime lords. My mother was killed, not by the lords, but by one of their bodyguards." Rangi frowned. "He was a man by the name of Lothair Ne'igalometiga, who was one of the lords' right-hand men and your grandfather on Natia's side.

"One day, a certain woman crossed their path. She was merely going to the marketplace, nowhere special. Still, by pure coincidence she wandered into chaos and dared to ask what was going on." He scowled. "Your grandfather killed her, Lotario. Not because she did anything malicious, but because she had simply gotten in the way of one of their 'missions'."

My family was involved with Verelum's crime lords? Already my mind was reeling, but I was more focused on the disdainful look Rangi was spearing me with. "I-I'm so sorry, Rangi..." I muttered, not sure of what else I could say.

"Save your condolences," he said. "I've always despised magicians, that was the first opinion I formed. From the moment I could comprehend more than a few words, I was told that magicians are vile beings. They'd brought Caelum to ruin, taking so many lives and enslaving what they couldn't kill, lording over the magic-less like tyrants." He ran a hand through his hair, his fingers tangling around the strands. "For me, by the time I was five or so, I knew that magicians were nothing more than monsters."

Monster. How many times had I heard that word be used in tandem with me? With Kari? With all of us? A feeling of disdain came over me. "But we aren't all like that."

Rangi shook his head. "Oh, I'm sure you aren't. But a few doesn't excuse the majority." His grip tightened on his hair as he pulled at it. "You're monsters. After all, why else would you take such monstrous forms if you aren't ones yourselves? It was proven to me with my mother's death, with everything else I've seen." He grasped Justice's hilt tightly. "As a guard, I've had to deal with so many magicians. I've seen them commit countless crimes."

"Because they were likely just trying to survive," I said. "Caelum is already messed-up as it is, being a magician just makes things harder because everyone hates us."

"What about murder when it isn't self-defense?" Rangi retorted. "They had a chance to show they aren't monsters, and yet they did it, still do it. If that isn't their true nature, then what is? I understood that they had to be brought to justice, and I thought Father did as well. But evidently he didn't. Do you know why?"

He stopped talking, like he was actually expecting me to answer this time. I shook my head, worried about what he'd do if I didn't give some sort of response. Satisfied, Rangi continued his morbid story.

"Later on, Father was sent to arrest your grandfather. Then something happened, I'm not sure exactly what." He scowled. "The point is that Father took pity on him, and he let him go. While your grandfather retreated into Primrose's shadows, taken in by the man who employed him, your grandmother and Natia were hidden by Father. That was when he first betrayed me." He shook his head sharply. "And what do you think happened next?"

"Th-they obviously got together. There's no question about that," I said.

"Exactly, and it sickens me," Rangi spat. "Why would you fall for the daughter of the man who killed your wife, and a magician at that?"

"Why do relationships happen at all?" I replied. "They obviously cared for each other, regardless of the circumstances. There's no question about that."

"And I don't understand how he could. He knew what she was! How could he trust her enough that she wouldn't stab him in the back?"

"Enough that I was born," I said.

"Yes... that you were born." Rangi then paused for a moment. He crouched down beside the bed, staring at me. I suppressed a shudder and averted my gaze, feeling like a Pokémon on display. "Believe me, I always wanted a younger brother," he said, his voice unexpectedly soft. "Someone to watch over, to look up to me as I did so. A-and even if you shared that loathsome man's blood, I tried to care. Don't get me wrong, I truly wanted to."

I kept my eyes focused on the stitchwork of the mattress. "Then this is some screwed-up idea of affection," I said bitterly.

"That's because... it isn't. I couldn't care the moment you revealed that 'magic.' I had to hate you, so I did." He grabbed my hair and yanked it hard, pulling my head up so I was staring him in the eyes, which were hateful. "Tell me, what crimes have you committed, Lotario? Who did you steal from, who did you kill?"

I almost didn't want to speak, but I did. "I-I stole from so many people." My heart squirmed as I spoke my next words. "But I killed none." Could I even say that though?

Rangi looked disappointed. "I wish that wasn't the case," he muttered. He continued to stare at me, and I silently held his gaze. Then he let go of me, letting my head fall down. The movement was jarring and sent a nest of Joltik crawling through my stomach. I bit my tongue to stifle a groan as I struggled to fight the nausea.

"My apologies, I suppose it slipped my mind that you wouldn't be feeling very good right now," Rangi said flatly. "Do you feel sick?"

My eyes narrowed. What the hell do you think?

"You don't have to worry. I'm almost finished, and then we can move on," he said. "Then you'll wish you could return to the pain you're feeling now."

"What, there's more?" I muttered.

"Not much," Rangi said. "Eventually, I couldn't bear what was happening any longer and alerted the guards about Natia's abilities. She thought it was a rival of her father's superiors and begged for us to flee. Father stole a ship, and we made our 'escape.'

"Unfortunately, he found out the truth and confronted me. I knew I was outmatched, so I crashed the ship. In the aftermath I silenced Natia, and while I did, Father fled with you. He did hide you, but he couldn't hide himself. I found him, and as per the law of Verelum and what I was taught, I judged him right there. He betrayed me as well as Verelum by concealing a magician. Twice. Treason deserves death, and that was what I gave him."

It would've made sense if I cried after learning that in such a cold, unforgiving way. My heart already felt crushed enough as it was. But I didn't, I simply refused to believe it. "Why should I believe you?" I said. "You already lied about so many other things..."

"Well, I can describe it, if you so wish." Rangi leaned in close to me. "Father was already exhausted, so he barely put up a fight after Dotty was felled." His voice held no uncertainty, just the pure restatement of facts. "One stab was all it took, Lotario. Just one. I left his body for the farmers to find, his blood watering their crops."

Even though I tried to ignore what he was saying, I couldn't do it. Dammit, I could almost see what he was describing. That kind-looking man I'd glimpsed in my brief recollection, lying face-down in a field, ran through with a sword. My throat started to burn as bile rose in it.

"But Natia... she was just as fiery as ever, even if her foot and arm had been broken in the wreck," he continued. "She did have a natural advantage with her Ice magic, but I managed to subdue and disable her before finishing the job. After all, those pesky Ice Shards were quite dangerous to me. Although it wasn't Justice, the blade I had then was still reliable. It did a fine job of sever—"

I couldn't hear any more. "St-stop," I gagged, swallowing thickly.

Rangi frowned. "If you're going to be sick, I prefer you do it on the floor," he said. "It'll at least be easier to clean up."

I almost was, but I kept it down. What disgusted me most was Rangi's demeanor as he recounted this. Every other murderer I met would've been smiling, gleefully boasting about their kills. But Rangi's face was like stone, save for the slight furrow of his brow.

"Father did do one thing, however. He ordered Dotty to kill Airial, which that rotten Fairy-type did," he growled. "But her sacrifice has been worth it. I've been able to bring so many traitors and magicians to justice since then. That blacksmith for example. He was so trusting of me. Even if he hadn't been a magician, he and those two Ratatta I 'rescued' deserved to be turned in for promoting the craft of illegal weaponry."

That shook me to the core. "He made Justice for you... and you turned him in?" I questioned, incredulous. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Rangi gave me a blank look. For some reason, the lack of expression scared me more than anything else. "Wrong?" he said quietly, in a dangerously wavering voice. The corner of his mouth raised in the slightest of smiles, though his eyes made it look like the deadest smile I'd ever seen. "Y-you truly have no idea. But that's something you don't need to know."

   "Even though you told me everything else?" I said. "I thought you didn't like lying."

   "I don't. But if I don't say anything, then it wouldn't be a lie. What I would tell you would be another one, and I can't stand to lie anymore." That dead smile twitched. "I-I'm sick of the lies. That's all my life has been. And I know you can agree with me on that, Lotario."

I stiffened, my blood chilling.

"I won't lie about how we are going to reunite with Guella," he said. "We will meet, all so I can turn you two in and continue hunting down magicians. The law says that you all need to be brought to justice, and I will be that justice."

My thoughts spiraled. "Why did I ever bother trusting you..."

"Because you still cared, even if you hardly knew anything about me," Rangi replied. "Even with how much you've changed, you still haven't lost your heart. I can almost admire that. It's a shame that it makes you so gullible. It always has."

"It still makes no sense," I said. "Why'd you bother tryin' to manipulate me in the first place? You could've just killed me the moment you finished with that hunter. A body still warrants a reward, and I'd be less of a hassle as a corpse."

"That is true."

"Then what, you actually cared about me or something?" I dared to let sarcasm leak into my tone.

Rangi's eyes narrowed. "I-I don't," he stated. "Now listen, because I have an offer to extend to you."

Oh really? I thought, unconvinced.

"You said you wanted to see Guella, right? Well, after we arrive on Verelum, we can do just that."

The confusion on my face was evident, because Rangi nodded.

"You heard me. I wouldn't turn you two in right away. I could give you a week, perhaps two if I'm feeling generous. The three of us could truly reunite, live together for a spell."

"And why would I want that? I'm still gonna die," I scoffed.

"Yes, you'll die either way. But there's still so much more you don't know. Even if you don't trust what I have to say, you'll surely trust Guella since she's unaware of this."

"Like I believe that," I said.

"You've seen my handwriting, and you've seen me write. It looks nothing like what was on those letters," he said.

I frowned. He was right about that...

"Meanwhile, I'd go back to who you thought I was," he continued. "I'd be the Rangi who saved you from that hunter, the loving brother who spoiled you and taught you about every star in the sky. You could tell me about your interests, and I would listen. You could confide in me about the struggles you faced, and I would sympathize. You want that, yes?"

Maybe yesterday I would have.

"Doesn't that sound fine?" Rangi continued. "All you need to do is just give up right here and not resist when the inevitable occurs."

   "And if I refuse?"

"I don't know why you would. After all, I'm offering you mercy you frankly don't deserve," he said. "But if you refuse, you'll stay bound in this room the whole trip. I won't say a thing to you, and when we arrive I'll make sure you won't see Guella. You would just have to wait for the end. If you agree, however, we could act like how we used to, and you could be happy."

"I can't have happiness in a situation like that," I muttered.

"Then at the very least you would have information," he said. "You said it yourself, wouldn't it have been easier if you remembered everything while you were alone? You would've known what this world was like from the beginning. You wouldn't have gotten that scar across your face, you wouldn't have nearly died of pneumonia. If you stay here, you'll continue to stumble through life with no direction."

Weak indignation flared. "Th-that's not—"

"You won't be happy, even if you try to be," Rangi cut me off. "I know a false smile when I see one, Lotario. And even if you think they're not false, they truly are."

I still wanted to refuse. Even so, he was right about that as well. If I'd known, things could've turned out differently. Dahlia might not have tried to kill me, that pirate might've not assaulted me. My heart twisted. Kari would've still been alive.

"But a week wouldn't be enough," I protested.

Rangi seemed to express genuine confusion at my hesitance. "Wouldn't you rather live a week in awareness than a lifetime in ignorance?"

And the worst part about this? I was considering it now. It was for the briefest of moments, but I actually did. I could learn everything, possibly remember some of it. Learning did seem to help me recall...

"Are you seeing my logic, che'lu?" Rangi asked, smiling gently.

That smile... It... didn't reach his eyes. It was like I received a metaphorical Wake-up Slap to the face then.

No. No, what am I doing? What the hell was I thinking? What would've been the point of all of this, my struggle to survive, Kari's death, the Noseks' unending kindness, if I just resigned myself to death here? That smile had almost made all of that forfeit. I was one to talk about false smiles. I'd grown so used to that fake expression of his that I hadn't been able to identify it earlier.

If I had remembered before, that didn't mean things wouldn't have played out the same way. And if I did agree, what would I truly get? Facts, information, maybe a memory or two. But it would all be under the watchful eye of a liar with a fake smile while knowing I was on a timer. There would be no happiness in that.

"I've grown used to living in ignorance. And while I wasn't completely happy, at least I was with people who actually care about me," I said.

"Guella would be saddened if she heard this," Rangi said. "You would really be so selfish to deny her a last chance to see her precious nietu?"

I flinched before scowling. "It wouldn't be a last chance if it weren't for you!" I said. "So you can take your 'offer' and shove it up your ass!" I then spat in Rangi's face.

Rangi let out a choked gasp of disgust, and he hurriedly wiped away the saliva. His eyes narrowed as he glared at me. I braced myself, fully expecting him to hit me or something similar. But he didn't.

"This why I know I won't regret this," he muttered. He stood back up and headed for the door. I didn't bother watching him go. "I never was the most skilled at sailing, so we'll leave at dawn," he said. "Rest now, Lotario, because you'll likely never get another chance to."

The door closed, and I was left alone in misery and pain.

—~*~—

Rangi didn't return after that, leaving me in a state of limbo that disoriented me. I didn't know how long I'd been here. Time felt irrelevant as I laid on that bed, unable to move, with only my thoughts to keep me company.

I shivered, hunching my shoulders forwards. Everything was so much colder without my cloak. At least Rangi had put my boots on me before he'd taken me. How considerate.

If things were different, I would've been fighting, trying my damndest to escape. But really, how could I? All my bravado and confidence meant nothing when I was tied up in a possibly locked room in a location that was alien to me. Well, mostly alien. I'd been here just two years ago, curled up in the corner with Dotty's wing draped over me.

I closed my eyes against the pain hammering away in my head. What was the point of this pain? It flew in the face of what had driven my cause to keep going, keep smiling. I couldn't bring myself to do either right now; I was both physically and mentally drained from what'd happened.

For the first time in a long while, despair threatened to swallow me again. There... really was nothing positive I could find in this. Well, there was one thing, though it could bring only the slightest, grimmest smile to my face.

I knew the truth.

But that truth was worthless, it didn't mean a thing to me in the wake of everything else. My brother betrayed me, lied to me. Nobody knew where we'd gone. I was going to die horribly. Those things drowned that truth, made me want to cry, to scream, to curl up in a ball and admit total defeat, and I truly did want to.

Eventually the oil lamp began to dim, slowly draining the room of light. This sent a new wave of fear through me. Being alone was one thing, but being alone in the dark was another. Slowly, I shifted onto my front and pushed myself along the mattress. I just wanted to get closer to the light, like it was my one lifeline.

I collapsed at the footboard, as close as I could get to the lamp. My breaths came strained as I sucked them through gritted teeth. But the light was there. As much as I wanted to rebuke it, I really was still a child, wasn't I? A helpless child afraid of the dark.

I wished I was back in Waywyn. It could've been morning now. Cyryl or Dew would wake me up, and after having breakfast with Alan and Iga we'd go to the bookstore. It'd be another normal day. But the unrelenting dread and pain kept me from sinking into that delusion. Tears began to sting my eyes. Cyryl had been talking about being selfish themself when I really had been the selfish one here. Why did I want more? I should've been grateful for what I'd had.

My heart lurched. Cyryl. How would they react to this? To them, I would've just vanished out of nowhere for no reason. It would crush them. I could picture them, teary-eyed, asking countless questions that Alan and Iga couldn't answer. And Dew, she would be abandoned again, her second partner lost to a cruel fate.

"What do I do, Kari?" I whimpered. The only thing I really had at my disposal was my magic, and therefore my Ice Shards and knives. But I needed to provide the momentum for my shards to be effective, and my hands were positioned too awkwardly for me to hold a knife properly. Rangi had made sure I was helpless.

I shifted on the mattress, trying to relieve the pins and needles sensation in my arm. Then a thought began to take form. My knives could easily cut through flesh and cartilage, proven with Kari's usage of them. Could I possibly stick one into the mattress? That way, I wouldn't have to hold it. It was a long-shot, but it was something.

New pain surged through me as I transformed, though I knew this pain would be worth something to me. I brought all of my fingers together and spoke the spell, putting every last ounce of concentration I had into this single shard.

About a minute passed, and then I couldn't do it anymore. I collapsed onto the mattress, panting, a bead of sweat trickling down my temple. That was the best I could do considering the state I was in. I stretched my fingers down until I found the shard and pulled it into my hands. It ground against the ice on my palms, proof of how jagged it was. Though I couldn't exactly tell, the shard must've been ten or eleven inches long and maybe an inch wide. I turned it so it was vertical and plunged one end into the mattress, twisting it deep. That had been the easy part.

I took a deep breath before I tried to sit up. My elbow took the full brunt of my weight as I pushed myself up, but I instantly collapsed. I couldn't even get myself up, I was too weak.

No, I can do this. I have to do this.

I tried again. With as hard a shove as I could manage, I got myself upright, almost toppling over the other way in the process. I sat hunched over, eyes clenched shut as I waited for the dizziness to subside. I'd never wanted to be sick more than right then. Luckily, I was just able to keep my composure.

After feeling about for the shard again, I began scraping my bindings against it. Of course it didn't stay upright, but it was still stuck in the mattress. I ended up having to lean back awkwardly and rest my head on the wall in order to keep the pressure on to cut through.

One minute. Two minutes. Nothing seemed to give. I tried to move my wrists faster, knowing that the shard was melting by the second. Even if it was just one loop, then it would loosen the rest.

Then I heard the slightest of snaps.

I gasped, and I yanked my wrists apart as hard as I could. The loops loosened a little, and hope flooded me like adrenaline. After another tug I was able to worm my hands out. My shoulders screamed in protest when I rotated and stretched them. But I didn't care.

I took a precious moment to relax while I massaged my aching wrists. Casting a glance over my shoulder, I saw that the shard hadn't melted as much as I thought, so I used it to slice the rope around my ankles. Finally, I was free.

Okay, what next? I thought, trying to gather my thoughts. Though really, I didn't have a better idea than "get up to the deck and get the hell outta here." It was still better than nothing.

Slowly, I shuffled to the edge of the bed, preparing to stand. My legs could hardly take my weight, they felt so weak, but I still managed to stay upright. This stability was lost when I took a step, and I collapsed to my knees. The pounding in my head returned full-force, spinning my vision. A hand flew to my mouth as my stomach tightened.

Okay, you're okay... I straightened up, shuddering. This time I braced myself on the bed as I stood, moving slowly. The dizziness still plagued me, and I breathed deeply. When it subsided, I found I could walk mostly well. There was only just some slight unsteadiness. I made my way to the door and cautiously twisted the knob. To my surprise, it turned. Rangi must've not thought that I would've been able to free myself, let alone get to the door.

I found myself muttering self-reassurances under my breath. There was no screwing around from this point out. Whatever awaited me on the other side of the door, I had to be ready for it, no matter what it was.