Steve opened the helicarrier that would take us back. Natasha got in and went to the cockpit, buckling up to pilot. She could put the machine on autopilot, but she didn't want to speak to me right now.

I held Steve's hand tightly with my real one, reliving the events over and over again. I hurt him. I hurt him and he's still opening his arms to me, letting me have a second chance. I squeezed his hand.

He looked at me. "Buck?" He spoke softly, as if he didn't want to disturb my thoughts.

I wanted him to. I wanted him to take all the bad memories out of my head and destroy them. I wanted him to tell me that I never did those things, that this was all a dream. I wanted him to tell me he saved me from the train. I didn't want to be broken anymore.

"How can you forgive me? I just almost killed your best friend and I hurt you. I destroyed this mission. Tony was right, you shouldn't have let me come." I sighed.

Steve shook his head. "None of this was your fault." He squeezed my hand reassuringly. "You are not a killer. You're a victim. I help victims. I'm helping you. And I'll do anything to make you feel safe again."

Almost like he could read my thoughts. "Thank you," I whispered.

***

Steve and I walked off of the plane, hand and hand, and headed to his floor. Steve stopped by the main floor first, and lead me to the kitchen to get us some food.

To my surprise, Sam was sitting there as if he were waiting for us. "Oh, so you are in love with Mr. Metal Arm here, aren't you?"

Steve immediately dropped my hand. "Sam. How are you feeling?"

"About as good as I can be for somebody who was just thrown out of a building." He scoffed.

"Steve caught you," I snapped back. "And if I wanted you dead, you'd be dead."

"That's comforting." Sam stared at me, and I stared back, refusing to back down.

Steve looked at me. "Why don't you head upstairs? I'll be there in a minute."

I gave him a small nod before looking at Sam again and jogging up the stairs. Nobody here would forgive me easily. Tony was gonna try to lock me up again. I know it.

I turned the shiny handle of Steve's clean, wooden door as I entered his floor. I took of my shoes at the entrance and headed to his room. Since of my....situation, Steve was okay with me using some of his clothes. I rummaged and found a read tank top I would use to sleep in.

I stared down at my metal arm in hatred and disgust. This was the part of me that made me a monster. If it wasn't for the arm, I wouldn't be an assassin and I wouldn't be a danger. If only I could get their stupid program out of my head. I thought to when they did it, trying to remember what they placed inside my head. My thoughts lingered to a knife...

Steve was in the doorframe. "Bucky," He said loudly. "Did you hear me?"

I looked up at him, snapped from my thoughts. "What?"

Steve gave me one of his soft, warm smiles that always made me feel safe. "I say we have that sleepover you've been talking about. Pushing the cushions together-"

"Just like we did when we were younger," I finished his sentence. It brought me less pain, but it wasn't a nice feeling.

Together, we took apart the couch and arranged the various cushions into a bed-like shape. Steve grabbed pillows from his room while I collected the blankets. I couldn't sleep without at least two blankets. I don't like the cold.

Steve chucked a pillow at my face. I caught it with my right arm and smirked. "Is that how it's gonna be, Rogers?"

Steve smiled crookedly. "You haven't beaten me since '34. I don't plan to lose now."

I jumped up and slapped his face with the pillow. He fell back and grabbed a different pillow to slug at my stomach. He didn't mean to, but even with pillows he sure packed a punch. I tackled him onto the makeshift bed and grabbed his pillow before hitting him with both of them over and over.

"I say uncle! I surrender!" Steve called.

I slapped him with the pillow one more time. "Who's the pillow fight champion?"

"Me," he smirked. I slapped him again.

"I'm sorry, you pronounced Bucky wrong."

With that sentence, his face lit up. I wasn't sure why, until I realized I had called myself Bucky, and I had been doing this a little more commonly. I was about to argue, but I couldn't ruin this moment for him.

"Yes, I apologize. Bucky Barnes is the pillow fight champion. For now."

"Is that a threat?" I teased and rolled off of him. I placed both pillows behind me to stack myself up.

Steve grabbed one of the pillows from under me. "Yup," he smiled. I sunk lower to the ground.

As I turned to Steve, I noticed something shiny on his neck. I raised my eyebrow. "That looks familiar. What is it?"

Steve touched the metal delicately. "This?" I nodded. "Your dog tag. We exchanged them after I first rescued your unit from Zemo. You had mine that night you-"

I cut him off. "Can I read it?"

"I- yeah of course." He leaned closer to me while I ran my metal fingers over the text of the tag. It definitely belonged to me.

"I remember yours," I said softly as I let go of the tag. Steve remained where he was. "I kept it. I managed to hide it for a while. Even when I was brainwashed I knew it was something important."

Steve's eyes rapidly scanned and surveyed my face, looking for something. He blinked slowly and nodded. "Thank you."

We sat in silence, staring at each other and just thinking. Where did his dog tags go? And why did we exchange them in the first place? My mind quickly tried to piece everything together. Steve glanced at the clock.

"It's almost 3am, Buckaroo. I'm going to bed. Gnight," Steve turned and wrapped himself in a blanket. I could still see his chest moving up and down with each breath.

"Goodnight, don't let the bed bugs bite," I replied and felt a sharp stab in my head. I wrapped myself in multiple blankets, fearing I'd wake up in a room of ice.

***
The sun spilled onto my face, warming up my dark hair fairly rapidly. I grumbled slightly, feeling a weight around my chest. Steve's arm had wrapped around me, holding me close to him. I chuckled slightly and picked it up before carefully setting it down.

Steve shifted but didn't wake up. I looked at him for a moment before going to the kitchen. If today was going to be the day the avengers killed me, I may as well help Steve get ready to cope.

As of by memory, I grabbed a hidden stash of pancake mix and milk, getting ready to make some breakfast. I chopped up bananas and added them to the batter before pouring almost perfect circles into a pan.

I set two plates up, each with three pancakes on them. Steve's was topped with strawberries, as they were the one fruit he wasn't allergic to. I grabbed the back of my chair for support as the migraine started. Too deep. Too far.

I heard Steve stir in the room over. From where I was, I could see him. I watched as he stretched and looked over to where I had previously been. He furrowed his brows and sat up straight, and I knew he was panicking. He quickly stood up.

"I'm in the kitchen, punk."

Steve scanned around before seeing my face through a small window. His shoulders gave way after letting go of tension. He sighed and smiled as he walked over to the kitchen, grabbing onto the wall and swinging in.

"What's this?" He looked at the delicious, perfect, spectacular pancakes I made.

"Breakfast. Pancakes with bananas. Topped with strawberries for you, because you can actually eat them."

"Well," he smiled, "thanks, Buck. But the serum cured all of my allergies. I can eat whenever I want to now."

I nodded and dosed my pancakes in syrup. "Well darn, there go my plans to poison you."

Steve chuckled and shook his head as he slowly devoured his pancakes. I followed suit, except he beat me and ending up waiting ten minutes for me to finish mine.

We were about to start a movie when Natasha and Sam appeared in our- I mean Steve's doorway. "Avengers meeting." Natasha said. "Now," she commanded.

I didn't need to be told twice. Steve lead me downstairs, and I saw his arm started to twitch with his anxiety. This was about me, there was no doubt.
In the circle say the Avengers who's names I had learned.

Thor, had long hair and a helmet. A god of some sort. Hawkeye, aka Clint. Liked bows and arrows and sitting up high. Hulk was a big green monster that also turned into Bruce Banner. Another iron-man, called war machine, aka Rhodey. Wanda was a young girl who was also apart of HYDRA in her past. She was a witch, had magic. I already knew Sam, Natasha, and Tony.

Tony looked at Steve. "Okay I'm not gonna beat around the bush, but I told you so."

Rhodey sighed, "Tony, seriously man?"

"What?" Tony didn't flinch. "It's true. Barnes is a danger and unstable."

Clint nodded. "I'm siding with tony for once on this one."

"I really hope I have that in recording," Tony responded.

"I'll take it back," Clint jaded.

"Nope, you cant. You said it, it's out in the universe."

"But if what Nat has told me is true, he's a danger." Clint continued.

"And what, none of us are?" Steve countered.

I stared at these people. They all hated me because of something I want able to control. Steve told me that I couldn't control it, and it's true, I can't. Steve trusts me and he's their leader, so why don't they.

"She has a HYDRA background," I stood up. "So does she," I nodded towards Wanda and Natasha. "And from what I know, what I've had to read coming into missions, they were both commissioned into the Avengers when Clint intercepted them because they were villains." The room went silent. "Am I wrong?"

Bruce spoke up. "I mean, cmon guys. We've all had second chances. Why don't we give Bucky one?"

"Thank you," Steve nodded towards the man.

"Because Bucky just threatened Sam and almost killed him," Tony stated.

"And I didn't?" Came the accented voice of Wanda. "I'm grateful for what you've done for me, for all your help. He deserves your help too."

Tony looked at Sam. "Am I getting any backup here, Wilson?"

Sam sighed. "He's attacked me multiple times, but Cap trusts him so I trust him." I stared at the bird. He's ridiculous.

Thor and Natasha remained silent, with Thor tossing his hammer once and a while. I wondered what they were thinking. Steve's weight shifted, and I turned to look at him.

"Look, we can research a way to help Bucky. He's a victim of HYDRA, just like Wanda and Nat are."

Rhodey looked at Steve. "And what if he goes rogue again?"

"We fix it. We make sure we stop it before it happens."

"And we do that by how?" Thor finally spoke.

"Take it out of his brain," Natasha said.