The trek up to the hill is familiar to Mikasa. The first time she was still in her battle gear, tired and weary from war and the emotional weight of the head cradled against her chest. She thought the second time would be different; that the sadness would have dissipated some, but her cheeks had grown wet and her legs had trembled enough for her to take a break before she had even managed to reach the hill's peak. Today was the third time.

Grief is no stranger to Mikasa, and yet, she finds that each time she traverses this path, her sorrow dissipates slightly, perhaps by only a small fraction, but enough for her to notice. In her hand she gently clutches a few flowers she found growing in the meadow. She had not found the time to stop by the market to purchase a large bouquet, but she thinks Eren would have preferred these anyway.

Mikasa shields her eyes slightly from the bright sun. She sees the tree's leaves swaying slightly in the wind and thinks that at least the shade of the tree will be cooling and make a nice place to rest. As she climbs the hill's peak, she sees the small rounded grave sitting at tree's base.

Here forever

Rest peacefully

My most beloved

My dear

854

Mikasa gently sets the flowers in front of the grave and slowly takes a seat in the soft grass. Her back rests slightly against the tree's trunk and the wind tugs slightly at her hair. It is quiet, and yet Mikasa finds the meadow to be livelier and preferable to town. She stares into the distance at the buildings and houses. It's strange, she thinks, seeing no walls encapsulating them, but she grins slightly, thinking Eren would have always wanted to have seen Shiganshina this way.

"Eren," Mikasa says aloud. "Everyone will be here coming to visit you soon." She says it like he is sitting near her, but when she turns, she is only greeted with the stone face of his grave. Her smile lessens some, and her throat goes chalky as she asks, "Aren't you happy?"

When silence meets her in response, she stares back out at the town, and her mind drifts back to that day, when she found Eren asleep against the tree's trunk. The was smaller then, and the branches weren't nearly as grown as now. She and Eren were so small then, she thinks, and so naïve to the future that was ahead. Even in her memories, they always exist together, to the point that Mikasa sometimes forgets that for nearly the first decade of her life, Eren was not beside her. When she does the math, she realizes has now lived more years without Eren than with him in it.

Tears well up in Mikasa's eyes. She lets the tears stream down silently and leans more fully against the tree's trunk. A few choked sobs leave her mouth as she stares down at the soft green grass in front of her.

"I want...to meet you again..." she manages to murmur through her tears.

While the crying eventually begins to subside, Mikasa finds her eyes starting to grow droopy as her body slowly begins to relax. It will still be a while before the others arrive, she thinks, and as her body sinks lower against the trunk and her legs sprawl out more across the soft grass, she smiles slightly, realizing that the comforting nature of this place must have made it easy for Eren to fall asleep here all the time. The wind swaying through the tree's leaves and the soft screech of a bird in the distance are enough to make anyone's eyes grow droopy.

As her tears dry, Mikasa's head falls to the side, and her breathing begins to slow before sleep eventually finds its way to her.

...

Mikasa's eyes shoot open. She freezes for a moment, wondering how long she was asleep. She blinks, realizing that the scene before her is altered some. The sprawling meadow and town in the distance are blurred slightly, and the sun is much brighter than she remembers it being on her trek up here. When she turns to her right to look at Eren's grave, she finds that the petals have already shriveled and fallen off the flowers. She reaches for one of the dying stems and inspects it.

"Your hair's grown longer," someone says from behind her.

A chill runs down Mikasa's spine. She could recognize that voice anywhere. It haunts her constantly. Every time there is silence in her day, she frequently stops to listen for it, even though she knows deep down that the owner of such a voice will never speak again.

Mikasa turns her body slightly. The sun is bright, and she shields her eyes from it. Someone thankfully blocks the heavy stream of sunlight. For a moment, all Mikasa can see is the shape of the figure until it grows closer, and the rays of light reveal long, brown hair, light eyes, and a warm smile.

"Eren," Mikasa breathes. She is frozen in place, no longer in control of her limbs. The ghost of Eren approaches her slowly and kneels down in front of her, blocking the grave from her sight. He looks young and lively, but mostly, at peace.

"Eren," Mikasa says again, no longer able to hide the chalkiness of her throat as tears gather in the corner of her eyes again.

Eren's thumb gently traces her cheek. She gasps, feeling him wipe a stray tear rolling down her cheek.

"Why are you crying?" he asks. "You said you wanted to see me, didn't you?"

Mikasa nods, but she's crying so heavily that nothing manages to come out of her mouth save for occasional sobs.

"Your scarf came undone slightly," Eren says. He reaches to trace the red fabric. The scarf is still worn, but Mikasa has refused to stop wearing it since his death. It will never look new. She has accepted that fact. But she always manages to stitch it back in place when some of the threads start to come undone. During her nap, the scarf seems to have fallen slightly from its usual place around her neck down to her lap and onto the grass.

Mikasa watches quietly as Eren slowly gathers the fabric in his hands. He places a hand on her shoulder, pushing her closer to him as he wraps it slowly around her neck until it no longer dangles down her body.

"That's better, isn't it?" he asks.

Mikasa grasps onto his shirt and pulls her closer to him until he is flush against her body. She sobs into his shoulder and sighs slightly as his arms come to rest around her. Mikasa savors this moment. Eren says nothing as she cries, only rubs her back occasionally and traces his fingers through her hair. Mikasa takes the time to breathe in his scent and tries to memorize the way his arms feel around her.

"Your hair really is long," Eren murmurs when his fingers run through her hair again.

Mikasa pulls apart from him slightly to stare up at him. "Is this real?" she asks. "Are you real?"

"That's up for debate," Eren replies. But Mikasa doesn't care. Real or not, Eren is in front of her, and she will not waste this moment that she has been gifted.

"I'm sorry," she says. "For having to take your life from you. It was the only way—"

"I know," Eren cuts her off. He keeps a firm grip on her shoulders. "You did what you had to do. You saved everyone, Mikasa. You should be proud."

Mikasa smiles weakly. That is what she has been told. She knows her friends are grateful for her sacrifice, and yet she is filled with guilt when she thinks she would have preferred a life with Eren still in it.

"I didn't answer honestly," Mikasa says.

Eren removes his hands from her shoulders and sits in front of her, staring at her confusedly.

"That night you asked me what I am to you. I said you were family. I didn't answer honestly," Mikasa explains. "But I think you know that already. That vision you showed me. Thank you."

The only thing to prevent her from crying is the growing redness in Eren's face. She smiles, thinking that as stoic as he likes to appear, his emotions have never been successfully kept from her.

Eren places his arms behind him and leans back slightly to stare up at the sky. "You know, I, uh, said some pretty embarrassing things to Armin when I met him in the paths."

Mikasa hides slightly behind her scarf. "He may have mentioned it to me slightly."

Eren's eyes widen. "I told him not to!"

Mikasa giggles slightly, watching Eren cover his face in embarrassment. It is enough to break her out of her grief for a moment. Eren moves his hands away and smiles at her.

"I never heard you laugh enough..when I was still alive," Eren says to her.

"You heard it in the vision you showed me," Mikasa notes.

"It still wasn't enough," Eren says wistfully. "None of it was enough."

Mikasa nods and frowns. A silence settles between them as they sit across from each other. The breeze picks up, and she flinches slightly as it tousles the dark bangs framing her face.

"What would you have said?" Eren asks.

"Huh?" Mikasa asks.

"That night. What would you have said to me? What would you have said when I asked you, 'What am I to you?'"

"It doesn't matter much now," Mikasa murmurs.

"I still think it does," Eren says. Mikasa is acutely aware of him scooting closer to her. She glances away slightly, suddenly embarrassed as the distance between them lessens. She looks up, seeing he is only a few inches from her face now. "I want to ask again. What am I to you?"

Mikasa stares up at him. For as long as she has regretted her response that evening, she has never found the right way to verbalize her alternative response. As she looks into Eren eyes, she realizes the answer has always been quite easy. She had even etched in onto his grave the day she buried him. And yet she had never had the courage to say it out loud before.

"My most beloved...my dear," she whispers.

She finds Eren's face gravitating closer to hers. His breath is warm against her face as he admits, "I didn't know if you'd have the courage to say it." Mikasa wants to protest him for teasing her, but both of them don't seem preoccupied by her answer anymore. Instead, Eren's lips gently trace hers, almost like a whisper, before she grasps his shirt and pulls him closer to her, satisfied in the feeling of having their lips mold together. Eren's lips, his body, is warm against her as they kiss. His hand reaches up to trace her face before cupping behind her neck to bring her closer to him. When they have to part to catch their breath, Mikasa leans her forehead against his and smiles.

The kiss she gave to Eren three years ago was sorrowful in nature and nothing more than a mark of farewell. Though he had not been gone long, she could already feel the warmth leaving him when her lips had gently pressed against his that day. The Eren in front of her is warm and lively, however, and when he leans his head down to kiss her again, she excitedly meets him, finding a much warmer kiss this time around that makes her body melt against him and her skin feel like it has caught on fire.

"Mikasa," Eren murmurs when they part again. His knuckles gently brush against her warm cheeks, and his finger traces the scar on her cheek that he left there so long ago. She knows that it used to guilt him, but she sees it now as just another mark he left on her before his demise.

"Yes?" she asks.

"I love you," he says.

Mikasa stares up at him in disbelief. Eren freezes suddenly, then moves away from her slightly. He places a hand on his neck and stares away from her.

"Ah, that was kind of embarrassing. Sorry," he says.

She smiles, wishing she had seen more of this side of Eren. Maybe if things had been normal...maybe if they had run away that evening...It doesn't matter much now.

"I love you, too," Mikasa replies easily. She sees Eren's face light up in response. "I would also love it if you would kiss me again," she says shyly.

Eren only gives her a short kiss this time. She keeps her neck outstretched and eyes half-lidded, expecting more, but Eren pulls away.

"Mikasa, I want you to be happy," Eren says sorrowfully.

"I know," Mikasa responds quietly. "And I know what you'll say. 'Forget about me.' I'm sorry. I don't plan to. I don't want to."

"It's true that I'll probably be bothered when you do meet someone else. I can't stand it just even thinking about it. But if you're truly happy...then that would make me happiest. So promise me that, okay? That you won't give up everything for me," Eren says.

Mikasa is quiet for a moment. It has been three years since Eren's death. It seems impossible to be able to move away from him, but she knows that time is healing and that though Eren continually sits in her thoughts each day, the pain has lessened slightly over the years.

"Okay. I promise," she says at last.

The wind picks up again, rustling Eren's hair. His gaze turns to look away from her into the clouded distance. Mikasa frowns and reaches upward to trace his cheek.

"How much time left, do you think?" Mikasa asks.

"Probably not much longer," Eren admits. He reaches for her hand tracing his cheek and interlaces his fingers with hers.

"I wish I could see you like this all the time," Mikasa says sadly. She can feel the tears gathering in her throat again. She wishes she would stop crying in front of Eren. When she glances up, however, she can see that Eren's eyes are glistening with tears as well.

"I'm not far away," he promises.

"How will I know that?" Mikasa asks sadly.

"You'll just know," he says and presses a kiss to her forehead.

"Eren, I'm getting sleepy," Mikasa says as she lets out a big yawn. "But I don't want this to be over so soon."

"I'll stay with you. We can nap together," Eren says. He lets go of her hand, only briefly, to find a spot next to her against the tree trunk. Mikasa feels content when she feels his palm against hers again. She looks up at him, happy when his lips meet hers again. When they part, however, she feels immense sorrow, like she knows this will be the last kiss they share. But her eyelids are starting to droop, and she finds her thoughts beginning to fade.

"You can rest your head right here," Eren says, patting his shoulder.

Mikasa does as he tells her and leans her head against him. His hands slinks around her back to lightly grasp her waist. The wind is cold, but she feels warm against him. She can feel herself slipping out of consciousness, even though every fiber of her being is telling her to hold on. She tries to ground herself in what she is feeling. The wind blowing through her hair, Eren's hand around her waist, the solidness of his shoulder, the warmth of his body. It is not enough. She can still feel herself slipping. She is awake just long enough to feel his lips trace her forehead one last time.

"See you later, Mikasa," he murmurs.

...

Mikasa awakes with a jolt. She looks to her side, to where Eren was sitting, to where her head had been resting against him, but there is nothing beside her but the grave, cruelly reminding her of reality. Her cheeks are crusty with tears, and though she tries to shut her eyes and lose herself back in the dream, the screech of a bird above her keeps distracting her.

Tears gather in her eyes. Mikasa grasps at the grass beneath her and rips it from its roots, wishing what she had dreamt had been real. The scarf that Eren had so delicately wrapped around her in her dream still dangles across her body, half unwoven.

Tears start to roll down Mikasa's cheeks again, and she wishes that the bird above her would stop screeching and go bother someone else with its annoying caws. Suddenly, she hears a flapping of wings, and feathers fly up in front of her. Mikasa lets out a tiny shriek, frightened for a moment as she is greeted unexpectedly by a large bird. It lunges for her scarf, and for a moment, she is fearful that it is going to pull away one of the last ways she can remember Eren by, but it simply lifts the scarf up to rest on her shoulder and flies up into the sky.

Mikasa suddenly understands.

I'm not far away.

She slowly rises and clings onto her scarf, watching in awe as the bird disappear into the distance. Her mouth opens, wanting to beg it to stay, but she shuts it again, knowing it can't be far. Tears well in the corner of her eyes, but from happiness this time.

"Thank you...for wrapping this scarf around me, Eren," she says quietly.