*Note: My sister would rather her identity remain unknown. I'll be referring to her as TJ, her nickname.*

Like most of my current problems, this all started with anime. More specifically Attack on Titan.

My sister recently got two guinea pigs.. And as is necessary to own guinea pigs, a cage. The cage consists of two levels, a ramp, and a few little plastic rodent houses. TJ and I would joke about how the houses could make a little guinea pig town with them, inside the cage.

That gave me an idea.

My Mom was gone, picking up my sister from school, leaving me, the rodents, and our cats alone at home together. (Fun Fact: When my Mom leaves me home alone, she tells one of the cats to "Make sure Lauryn stays out of trouble, and doesn't burn the house down!" before she goes.)

My cats, Izzie and Callie, are MASSIVE. Izzie weighs 26lbs and Callie weighs about 18lbs. They are abnormally large. Like, colossal. The guinea pigs are only about 1/15 the size of Izzie. That's why I was going to use my cats and the pigs to make an Attack on Titan parody video.

I mean, why not? Set up a camera and my iPod, hold Izzie, slowly rise her up over the walls of the cage, play the intro to AoT, and ta-da! Oscar winning movie right there!

In theory anyway.

To save you from reading another 20 paragraphs of that failure, here's the short version:

I hadn't accounted for Izzie's hatred for being picked up. She's a squirmer. Callie was even worse. She's a biter. I had four holes in my right eyebrow after trying to make it work with Callie. (Cheap way to get an eyebrow piercing, I guess... Heh heh..*winces*)

I came to the conclusion that my cats weren't meant for the role.

It was time for me to step into the spotlight. To become a star! To play giant naked monsters that devour humans for sport!

I hit record on the cameras, aaaaaannnnd.. Action!

I rose up slowly, draping my hand over the cage wall. I hissed slightly before standing to reveal my face. Then I reached out and grabbed Winnie Pig. I picked her up and held her near my face, opening my mouth as if I was going to eat her.

And then the door opened.

I froze, hoping TJ would be in a bad mood and go strait up to her room, so she didn't see me pretending like I was going to eat one of her beloved rodents.

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!"

'Shite.'

My sister was standing behind me, completely dumbfounded as to why I was standing clutching a guinea pig, with my mouth gaping open, with Winnie Pig's head two inches from my teeth.

Now I have to have my sister's permission to touch -or even look at-her pets from now on.