My story is me being in love with two guys. I know some think it's wrong. And I've been called a whore for being with two guys. Called a cheater. This is my story.

I'll start with the first guy, Zayn. We met in highschool my sophomore year and his freshman year.

When I seen him, I was attracted to him. Zayn is tall, skinny and has beautiful curly brown hair,he looks so fragile. He's shy and sweet and caring.

I seen him and wanted to get to know him. Be his friend, get him to talk. He didn't say much and I try talking to him about things he liked. I got simple responses but I still kept trying. I talked to him whenever I could in the only class we had together, once that semester ended I told him I won't have a class with him anymore because the next class I already got credit for. I didn't think we would get to talk again.

Next school year, his sophomore year, my junior year. We got a class together. We didn't sit together. Thought he didn't remember me anymore. But I still liked him.

I was engaged to another guy at the time that I was with for 4-5 years. I was young, and didn't think much of myself. That I wouldn't find anyone to love me. We weren't good for each other. I was always depressed, and had health issues so I would miss school a lot.

I was out of school for a couple of days since I was sick, when I had came back the class I had with Zayn. I was paired with him and another girl for a group project. I took my chance to get to talk to him again. Get to know him. Found out he likes games and would talk to him about it. Eventually I asked if he knew how to massage on this one game we played so we can massage after school. Was difficult. He would take a while to respond because he would think really hard about what he should say and delete his massage and type something else. I ask later on if he had a number so that we can text when not playing the game. Gave my number and we talked, got to know each other a bit more and talk on the phone at times.

I was out of school again from being sick. And he had massage me if I was okay, not even my own fiance had ask me that. He was busy flirting with other girls that he didn't care to check on me. I know you're probably thinking why didn't I break it off with the fiance. I was stupid, didn't care about myself. He would also keep telling me he would kill himself or harm himself everytime I brought up ending things.  I also just wanted someone. Because I didn't think I would find someone until I met Zayn.
And told the guy that I like someone else. He later cheated and tried to tell me the girl was pregnant but he doesn't think she's fit to take care the kid and rather me help him. I told him no, and that it's over. My chance of being free was now without hearing him say he'll hurt himself.

I didn't date Zayn until a few months later. In April.

I'm an asshole.

Zayn was sweet, and I was free but still hurting. That I wasn't caring about him. I didn't remember his birthday. I didn't know if I should be with him. I know why did I try to get to know him if I was just going to be this way? I realized what I was doing and hurting him when I didn't remember his birthday. But I also told my friend that I didn't think me and him would work because he still wouldn't say much to me.

I gave him more time. He opened up. We talked so much. We had the same interest. We became close.

Things were going good. We got engaged after being together for 4 years.

Until I wanted more.