Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I committed suicide. Whoa whoa whoa. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal and I definitely don't condone it. It's definitely not the solution to problems.

I'm just curious. . . What would people say? What would they think? How many people would show up? Pretend to care? Actually care? How many girls would sob, losing the guy they had a crush on? How many guys would weep, having lost a brother? Any? A lot? None?

How will I be remembered? How many people, when they talk about me, will describe the real me?

And, if I saw the future, what would I think? If I saw my future wife, greeting me with a kiss when I get home, would every challenge now feel worth it? What would I feel if I could see the little girl running into my arms screaming, "Daddy!" Would I give up now if I could see every challenge I'll face in my life? Or would I steel myself and prepare for battle?

I just know that, one day, I'll cuddle my wife and have that baby snuggled between us. And I'll know why I cried all those times before.