A/N: I was in French class today, and I had to sign into my Google account to type out a paragraph. While I was there, I found this short story that I had worked on a while back - about half a year ago or so - but I never finished it, or posted it. So, having some spare time at the end of the class, I quickly finished the story, and now I am giving it to you wonderful humans. (In case you couldn't tell, it's a story about Monstercat, and no, the title is not a typo. It'll make sense. Eventually.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is why we don't put you five in charge of things," the cat-like creature hissed. Its four sharp teeth glinted in its mouth as it turned around and yelled, "YOU REALLY MESSED UP THIS TIME."

The five other guys, all of them pretty human looking, avoided the creature's angry glare. Or at least, they were pretty sure it was an angry glare. They couldn't really tell for sure, the creature had no eyes.

"What's going on in here?" a voice asked. The door to the room opened, and another guy walked in. Taller than the rest, he carried an air of authority. The cat-like creature motioned to the other five guys and said,

"These fine men epically messed up everything. Do you want me to explain?"
"Please do," the tall guy said. He took a seat next to two guys in tuxedos. For some reason, the both of them had robotic hands instead of regular hands. The cat-like creature took a seat too, and, taking a very deep breath, began to speak.

"It all started when the wars started. You know, the record label wars... to claim the moon for themselves... ourselves... whatever. I don't know why we chose the moon to fight over, but that's how it is. Now, because everyone else was doing it, I decided to put some of our artists in the game. I chose Stephen, Eminence, and Astronaut!"

At that, the other two people in the room, shifted uncomfortably. They were red-skinned and had space suits on (minus the helmet). The cat-like creature gave them a piercing glare... or maybe he didn't, but it just felt like it, and continued,

"So the wars started out great. We took all of our spacemen up there..."

"You left out Nigel," the tall guy quickly said, "And I'm pretty sure you could have gone up there and done some of the fighting yourself..."

"Nigel doesn't matter, and I don't want to fight," the cat-thing calmly said, "Anyways, they went up there, and chaos ensued. The two from Eminence was smart, and wore helmets. But the tuxedos... they ruined everything, and they had to get their hands removed and replaced with robotic ones."

"Ah..." the tall guy softly said. He glanced over at the two tuxedo-wearing men with robotic hands, then back at the cat. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him, and he asked,

"What happened?"

The cat-monster smiled furiously, and sweetly said,

"The tuxedos left their hands exposed to the vacuum of space. Their hands froze, and they were no help in any form, WHATSOEVER."

He shouted the last part, and if he had been a human, or something that turns different colours based on emotions, his face would probably have been a lovely shade of red. The tall guy sighed, slowly shaking his head.

"Please continue," he softly said. The cat-monster... Monstercat, nodded, and continued, in a somewhat less menacing tone,

"Stephen brought his 'one-man-moon-band' machine. It was large enough that it carried its own atmosphere, but other than that, it was virtually useless. No, not virtually, literally useless. The instruments all got in the way. At least he made some cool music, though. Astronaut... the two of them, they carried us through the battle. They fought bravely, staring down evil with a happy, loveable smile. Then disaster struck. We won the fight."

The tall guy said nothing, but the smile on his face slowly grew larger and larger. Then, without any warning, he burst into laughter.

"We won the war?" He asked, "That was the disaster? We won! We should be proud!"

"I didn't tell you the whole thing," the Monstercat simply said. The tall guy stopped laughing, and calmly sat straighter, looking slightly embarrassed at the fact that he had burst into laughter. The Monstercat smiled and continued,

"As I was saying, we won the fight. Everything was over. It was all good."

As the Monstercat spoke, the two guys from Astronaut, Danny and Ross, slowly shifted in their seats. Danny's face was getting extremely pale, and Ross looked as uncomfortable as a person could be.

"...And then Daniel and Ross decided to blast the company's logo into the surface of the moon. Danny decided to do that."

At that moment, Danny buried his face in his hands and let out a long, drawn-out moaning sound.

"...Ross piloted the spacecraft, and Danny dropped the nukes to form the letters. Suddenly, he 'accidentally' dropped two nukes to make the 'O's. Now we're stuck with this..."

The Monstercat strode over to the other side of the room and tore apart the curtains. The city of Vancouver glittered, under the moon. The tall guy looked out. After a long period of silence, he asked,

"We're stuck with what? A nice view of the city?"

"No, you idiot," the Monstercat crossly replied, "THE MOON. LOOK AT. THE MOON."

The tall guy slowly put on his glasses, and stared out at the moon. He was silent for a very long time, then he asked,

"Moonstercat? The family is going to love this."

The Monstercat simply sighed. Then, lowering his voice, he frantically whispered,

"But 'Moonstercat'. Just think about it! This is what people are going to see for the next... few thousand years or so, maybe more! Unless a moon colony is built there, that is going to be our impact on history - that of the biggest pun ever made."

The tall guy snorted, then said,

"Relax. It's fine."

"I, personally, would not mind blowing up those mistakes," the Monstercat softly said. Suddenly, the door to the room was flung open, and a blue-skinned creature with a red beard, a baseball cap with a pixellated heart on it, and quite a lot of grenades, burst through it.

"Did I hear 'blow up'?" the guy, named Michael, excitedly asked, "Because I heard 'blow up'! I like blowing things up! Can I blow something up? Wait, I can! Is it the moon? I've always wanted to blow up the moon! Ta-ta!"

As the guy left, a collective shudder went through the group. Either that guy was going to make an even worse pun, or there would be no moon. Both ways were highly undesirable outcomes.

Thankfully, neither of those things would ever happen. Michael was stopped by his fairly more sensible friend, Alex. Although, to this day, nobody was quite sure which 'Alex' it was, since the Monstercat record label has about 20 people named 'Alex' on it. It was either 'Alex', as in, Protostar, or 'Alex', as in Seven Minutes Dead, who came back to visit, or 'Alex', as in Aero Chord, or 'Alex', as in Slips and Slurs or, the most likely, 'Alex', as in the other half of the Pegboard Nerds. Whoever it was prevented our moon from being destroyed, and we are eternally in their debt. However, nobody ever fixed the problem with the pun, and, permanently engraved in the moon, forever a reminder of our past, there is a looming, eyeless, cat-like face, and the phrase... 'Moonstercat'.

[End.]