Fortunately, I had not told them about all the abuse of my ex-boyfriend. I do not know if I'll make it. But I will not make it really clean, because I'm afraid that they will not see me with the same eyes as before. It's hard for me to bear the way they look at me so full of pity, regret, fear, anger and others, and I do not really realize that I want them to look at me like before, so full of happiness, love There was also fear that they could lose me right away but it was only a small glimmer and now it is much larger which I do not like at all. I hope that will not last forever and that they will see me soon again as a few days ago. I do not want to lose them but if I could protect them by going I then do that of course, too. But I can not and will not think about it until it is ready. Oh, how I missed my 10 chaos. "Guys when does Dad come here?" I know it's my new home but I still can not call it yet. But first I have this pressure because I inwardly have got rid of. Now I got it, I know how I have to make it, "Guys can I still go?" I asked dearly and kindly. "Sure you can come with someone, and what about the food, do not you want to eat or do not you have any hunger?" Phil asked, and Chris asked, "Shall I bring you up to my room, or do you want to sleep with one of the others?" Ok now enough more questions and I turn through. Yes I know they mean it just well but still I have the pressure to be released quickly, otherwise I really turn through or suffer a nervous breakdown or worse. I quickly shook my head and ran upstairs, Lizzy and Ricky close behind me. At the door I stopped and said, "Get off to the boys!" And they ran down the stairs as far as I could see. I then ran into Chris's room and went to his desks, looking for scissors.

Hah There is one!! Yes, but before I get crack I get my mobile phone out, I'm my favorite song at the time. (Above👆) I make the volume quite loud, and start moving to the music. I made the song on the loop. This is how it works all the time. I have put my Handy Timer on 60 min, so I can complete myself for one hour completely from powern. After the one hour is around. I take a shower and get a boxershorts from Steven. A sweater by Chris and a jogging trousers by him. Then I went slowly down into the entrance hall and looked around the corner slightly. The scissors I had after I shower was again placed where I had found them. I see how my brother and their mates all stare at the TV, while 2 of them always grade need before Speed ​​Most wanted to gamble. They have so much fun together because I do not want to disturb why I went down with Ricky to the beach, barefoot, and went with Ricky a bit into the water. Well, he jumped wildly around her and swam in the water. I, on the other hand, went only to bobble into the water. Suddenly I hear something .....