This is just a small filler of what I believe goes on in alot of people's head. I not saying all just alot. So I felt like being a depressing fuck and made this. Now trigger warning. This contains self harm aka touchy subject so don't read if  you don't like to talk about this subject.
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I can't help but hurt. I guess this is my personal journal for now. I can't help if I hurt my self in order to feel human. I know you can't stop cus I won't let myself. I'm not healthy and I won't ever be right in the head like I used to be. I'm in constant pain and I can't save myself from a dark pool that is and will swallow me whole. What should I do. These cuts won't help. I know I'm human. I bleed, I cry, and make mistakes. So why do I need so much reassure? I think I have 30 something maybe 36 on my thigh. It would kill me if anyone found out. So why do I do it? I ask myself so many questions. The reason I do it is cus I know they won't leave me alone till I do another one. I am loosing sleep because of it. Why can't I be normal? Why does it hurt to know they care but once they find out even the toughest outside can have the weakest inside? They'll stop caring and leave me all alone. I don't want that again.