Two weeks later...

Mr Dee just came into class with a stack of papers. He was holding the test that they just had a few days ago. Great, Hana thought. Why does he always mark so fast? Hana really dreaded getting the test papers back. She knew she wouldn't score very well. She just couldn't catch up with the speed that the lessons were going. And she was too scared to ask Mr Dee for consultation. But she tried her best anyways. Still, she knew she'll end up at the bottom ranks. 

The ultimate thing that she dreaded when Mr Dee gave out the test papers was the way he returned it. It couldn't get more irritating than that. He'd always returned tests and exam papers starting with the top scorers for the test, all the way until those who scored badly. Hana really hated that. It made her even more stupid than ever. She would feel sad every time she got her papers after almost three-quarters of the class had gotten theirs back. To make it worse, Sasha was always constant one of the top scorers, flaunting her excellent grades in front of her without considering how Hana was feeling. Sometimes, Hana really think that Sasha is a very self-centered person.

It was now the moment that Hana dreaded. 

Mr Dee began by saying strictly, "The results this time is slightly better than the last time but it's still not up to the standard that your class should have."

He then ruffled through the papers and said, "This time the highest score is 23 out of 25. And our top scorers are Ryan and Sasha."

He paused as Ryan and Sasha went up to get their papers while everyone applauded. Hana pretended to clap while her heart was sinking at the dread of Sasha telling her how happy she was for scoring so well when she thought she would fail. Like she would even fail anything, Hana thought. 

Mr Dee continued giving out the papers. "Next are those that scored between 20-23. Han, Keane, Teng, Shaun, Michelle, and Andrea."

The usual smart people, Hana thought.

"Next. 15-19. Not bad but those with 16 and below need to buck up. Jun, Tan, Yujin, Yuwen, Xue..."

"Now, those who just passed. 13-14 marks. Dani, Steph, Hana..."

Hana got up to take her papers. Does he have to say it like just barely passing a test was such a bad thing? She thought. 

She took back her paper and glanced at the score,14 out of 25. Better than failing. She didn't like the way Mr Dee seems to always praise those that did better. Why was he so obsessed with their grades? So what if her class was considered the best class? So what if everyone in this class was supposed to be smart? Hana didn't care. 

Why? Why is this world ruled by grades? It's just so unfair!

***

It was the dreaded day. The day of the fitness test. Gosh, Hana really didn't like it. She was just bad at it. She's just going to be so embarrassed today. Of all things, the first test had to be the one that she can't pass. The 2.4km run. She just can't seem to pass that. She was always one of the last to finish. Either that or she'll be too slow to finish. Last year, she had Krystal to run together with her. At least she had company then because, Krystal, like her, can't pass the test too. Now, she was all alone. She's going to be so embarrassed when she comes in last. Great.

Hana followed the rest of the class as they walked to the park where they will be running. Hana sighed. She really didn't want to do this. She knew she wouldn't pass. What's the point of doing the test?

"All right, everyone. Line up along the route. If there's anyone not feeling well, you can tell me right now." Miss Lee said. 

Hana almost wanted to raise her hand and say she was having a headache or something. Anything to get her to skip this test but she knew she would still have to take this stupid test no matter what. Anyways she really wasn't feeling well. She was seriously nervous. Like damn nervous. She could hear her heart pounding nervously as she waited for the run to start.

Since no one had raised their hand to say that they were unwell, Miss Lee said while preparing her stopwatch, "Ready...Go!"

Miss Lee blew the whistle and off everyone went. Hana was right in the middle of her class of girls. She was doing quite alright now, able to keep up with the pace of everyone else, though the faster ones were already getting ahead of everyone else. But that would soon change.

Half a lap later, Hana was already drifting towards the end of the line of girls from her class. She watched her classmates slowly overtake her one by one. To make it worse, the other classes were also starting their run. More people ran past her. Hana felt depressed already. She was going to fail this again. 

Three laps later, Hana was really sure now that she was going to finish last. There were already people were on their last lap or had finished their run. It made her feel worse. She was already losing all the willpower she had to continue running. Her legs were burning. She couldn't breathe. Hana stopped running and started walking. Again. She had started to walk since the first half of her second lap. And now she was walking again. She didn't really care anymore. Let's just fail. 

Bernice ran past and said, "Come on, Hana! You can do it! Keep going!"

Hana gave a slight smile and continued walking. It didn't matter how many times her classmates passed by her and tried to encourage her. She had lost all the will to continue. Just by seeing them run past was already disheartening. She was just waiting for time to run out. And running whenever she passed by a teacher because she didn't want to hear them encouraging her too. It made her feel like some idiot who was fat and unfit.

Last lap. Everyone had finished their run. It was just her left. Gosh, this is really embarrassing. Hana thought. It made her looked like someone who can't do anything except study. Like a nerd. A few of her classmates had ran up to her encouraging her. Hana smiled at them and motioned that she'll run later. She wanted to walk a bit more. As if. She just wanted the teacher to come up here and tell to stop because she was too slow. 

A few more meters left. Hana gave a last spurt of speed and ran. She made it. So what? She still failed. As usual. See? There was really no point in running again. She would failed. Just as she expected. She felt so embarrassed. Everyone waiting for her to finish. They must be judging her. The idiot who couldn't run. The fat idiot.

***

Re-test. It meant running again. Hana had to take the damn test again. Seriously, it wasn't going to make any difference. She was going to be slower than before. She didn't know why it went like this but it just always has. She always ran slower in the re-test. This time was going to be no different.

Hana stood at the start line with the few other people who had either failed, like her, or were unwell or absent on the day of their run. This really wasn't going to change anything, she thought. 

The whistle was blown. Off she went. Hana didn't really bother to try at all this time round. She knew the result anyways. She should just take her own sweet time and wait for the teacher to come to stop her, telling her she was way too slow. 

And true enough, it happened in the end. She was the last. The last of those that failed. Hahaha. Hana didn't care, as long as she didn't need to do this anymore. She really hated running. She just couldn't run, ok. She wished she could just tell her teacher that she was going to fail and there was no point in doing this. But Hana didn't dare to do that, of course. She was too cowardly. As usual.

***

Hey guys, it's me, Kara. I'm back... I'm kind of feeling sad because of the reads in the previous chapter. I only had one new read!! I was really sad about that. Plus, my reads for the book didn't even increase at all. It makes me wonder whether it's worth it to continue or not... But since I started this book, I've decided that I must finish writing this book. So I'm still going to continue even though I feel so sad... :(

I don't know whether I should even set any goals this time round. But i shall just try anyways. So...

 Goals of this chapter: 9 reads, 1 vote, 1 comment

And just something that I wanted to add, you may notice that Hana's really a pessimist. And yes, I was like that once in a while in 2012. But the Hana here seems too pessimistic compared to the me in 2012. I don't know why I made Hana like this, probably because I've become like this now  so i guess it kind of rubs off onto Hana. But just to note, really, Hana wasn't supposed to be so pessimistic. It's just me, whose personality has changed since then, making Hana so sad every day...( I don't know whether u guys will understand what I'm writing in this paragraph because I also don't coz it's just so hard to explain this)

My dear readers, please keep reading, voting and commenting. It helps to know that someone's reading my book and that it's not just me trying to rant my stupid life out for the whole world to know. Please follow me too! ;)

Aaaaannnnddd, next update's on 31 May! See u guys next time! :)