So, I am on top of my house looking over at *name of town*. I look at nearly 47.68° angle from my house and notice Cassie with a sniper on her roof. I jump off the roof as shots fire at me. Suddenly, a helicopter with Ronnie at the helm flies over my head and she activates the PA and yells, "You gonna go through HELL before you get what you want!" and she shows me a picture of the back of her heli to reveal Emma Watson, tied up and screaming for help. I continue running while the bullets rain down, and I jump into a golf shed with a metal roof. There isn't any light. I look around. In the corner, I see Tamsin with a machete and Maggie with an SMG.
I burst out running, the girls right on my tail. When I reach the fence,  I see Gabby with an RPG perched on a fencepost. I jump as the explosion rings through my ears.
I wake up on a cot. I try to look around, but I'm tied down. I hear a door open, and for a while there is no sound.
"I've been waiting," says the soothing voice of the one and only Emma Watson. "You seemed very brave down there."
"Thanks..." I stammer, dazed. "W-w-why were you tied up-p-p?"
"They used me as a hostage to draw you out. It was all just a ploy to get you out."
"But why draw me out?"
    She answers by gently untying my bonds and leaving the room. As she walks out, Ronnie rushes by and socks me right in the jaw.
    "Yo, what was that for? Come on, man!"
    "That was for not helping your... ummm... lady friends!"
    "Ok, I get it. But why?! Why did you bring me here? And, where is here?"
    "Here is the secret basement of my torture operations. And I brought you here to make sure I could get what I wanted before you got what you wanted."
    "What did you want?"
    Ronnie pulls out an iPad and leaves. I pick up the iPad and swipe to unlock. The wallpaper says, "GO INTO PHOTOS!" I politely oblige, looking at the pictures.
    They are all memes that include some picture of me running from the helicopter, or tied up, or looking googly-eyed at Emma Watson, or something. One says, "WHEN CASEY NEEDS TO ACTUALLY WORK" and it shows me running. Another says, "WHEN YOU GOT 40 TESTS ON ONE DAY" and I'm tied up on a table. I look through these until there's none left.
    I put the iPad down and Emma Watson appears to my left. I jump and am about to say something about leaving when I remember, Oh. It's Emma frickin' Watson. She sits down on the side of my cot. "Why are you here again?" I ask.
    "I was just watching you a little bit. You know, a person is most beautiful in the state of observing, when they aren't trying to put an expression on their face."
    "Oh, I didn't know that."
Emma inches closer to me on the cot. "Why don't we go back to my room? It's much more comfortable." 
"Sure," I say without even thinking about it. We get up and head to her room. It is lavishly furnished, with a king sized bed at the head. She invites me to sit down.
"I've been talking with Ronnie, and from what she's told me, you seem to be a horrible person. But then I talked to you, and you didn't really have any of that edge Ronnie seemed to think you had." She inches closer.
"Yeah, Ronnie always exaggerates. You could ask her if... say... hmm... you were beautiful, and she'd write a huge long poem about it. But even then I'm not sure she'd really capture the true beauty I see."
"Aww, that's so sweet of you!" Emma says, as she inches ever closer.
And that imperceivable magnet, pulling our heads together, and we're kissing, and it's so beautiful, and we're on the bed now, and she's running her hands everywhere, down my back, on my arms, and it's all so great, and she's pulling off —
I wake up, iPad over my face. It was all a dream. Ronnie comes in and bursts out laughing.
"I knew it! Haha!" She punctuated this cry of victory with a brisk slap to my face with her iPad. "Come on, we're taking you to your dea— lady friend. Hehe. Come with me."
I walk slowly, planning my escape route the entire time. The side hallways always helped, but she probably had guards at the end of each one. I didn't find a solution until it was too late, and I was alone in a dark room. The other end had a gaping hole on it, and I went over to it. I could hear faint screaming, but he screams like when you're on a ride, not screams of horror. They got louder and louder, and before I knew it, I had been wrecked, the wind knocked out of me, and I was flat on my back. The person on top of me laughed, and that' when I noticed who it was.
Cassie was on that slide. I just got absolutely RKO'd by Cassie. She gets up, still laughing.
"Why the hell? Why would Ronnie do that? I don't deserve this."
"Yes, you do deserve this. But I don't. Ronnie says we have to talk."
"Yeah, and I'm sure you hate that."
Cassie responds with that half-glare that she uses when I make a joke and she's slightly mad but really is swooning* inside.
"But about what? She's not exactly the sentimental type."
"Well, there is something I needed to say." I tell her.
She leans forward in her chair. "Tell me."
I've had this speech in my mind for a while, but I've never really put it into words.
"I've been thinking of you as my better half. The part of me who sees reason, logic, and still incorporates that freedom that I always thought I had. But then I noticed other things. You seemed to like being around me as much as I did with you. I never thought that, I just thought you were OK without me, but I see differently. Am I right?"
"Could you please translate that into human non-movie-style-cliche speech?"
"What I was trying to say was I like you. And I like being around you. And I thought it was the same both ways. Better?"
"Much. RONNIE, LET US OUT NOW!!! I think that's why we were in here...
As she said this, there was a click from the door and it opened. Ronnie stood there with her iPod in hand. She flashed the screen at us and smiled. "Cameras," she said.
I demurred, "I think you should TURN OFF THE DAMN CAMERAS and allow us to finish the conversation."
"Fine then," Ronnie said, "but make it fast, 'cause I have pizza..."
"Ooh," Cassie added. "Fast, then."
I continued my speech (minus the cliches) by saying, "If I'm not mistaken, you just said you liked me just as I do you. Am I right?"
She rose an eyebrow.
"OK. So I was just wondering if you would, hmmm......how can I say this......OK. Will you go out with me?"

*he wrote that part idk

I wrote the parts with my dialogue and prevented him from basically writing a sex scene with Emma Watson, but the rest was 100% written by him. Bro take a freaking chill pill.
His dialogue in here is accurate like his speech. Slang and weird crap and the occasional scientific nerdy romantic shit.

So there ya go.