When we arrived home, it was around 6:30 in the morning. I hadn't seen Noah in months and I just wanted my husband to tell me how it had been and tell  me how he was. After we brought the luggage to our room, I gently grasped his hand.

"Hey, Noah, are you alright?" He signed and his stare bore into my eyes. He faked a smile and said,

"Yeah, I'm fine honey." I frowned.

"What happened over there?" His eyes suddenly fell to the floor and he looked ticked off. 

"Nothing special, just war you know, death and bombs."  He said, as if it wasn't obvious to me. I knew he wasn't telling me what had really happened. I knew there was more. He had been in a war before and yes it had been terrible, but he hadn't changed. He hadn't been as affected as now. I knew he had changed because In 5 years of marriage, he had never EVER called me "honey" before. It was not the usual tender name he used with me, he was more of the "baby" kind of guy. 

"I'm going to go to bed, if you don't mind." He murmured and kissed my head. I let him go, and did my own things for the rest of the day. He needed to be alone and sleep and I was going to respect that. Because that's what a good wife does for her husband. 

A couple of days later, it was the funeral. The funeral where all veterans who died out there fighting, were acknowledged for their courage. I walked up to Noah and asked, 

"Are you sure you want to go?" I kept wondering if this was going to be good for him or not. I couldn't help but worry. 

"Yes, now stop asking!" He snapped while tying his shoelace.  I stared at him for a second and finally confronted him. 

"What's wrong with you Noah? I know things have been tough for you out there, but you're back now, and I miss my loving husband." He suddenly got up and started pacing back and forth. He yelled, 

"Why are you on my case all of a sudden? You don't trust me? You think I changed?" 

"I just don't know what's happening to you! You're so cold and distant!"He then got close to me and grabbed my arm and continued. 

"You don't understand anything! You think you could just change things? Make everything better and normal again?"

"Maybe, if you would simply TALK to me, we could at least face whatever you're going through together. But for that to work, you have to tell me what happened in Iraq!" His anger faded from his eyes, and he took a deep breath before sitting down on the bed. 

About 12 hours after war had started, right before the helicopter came to get us, my friend Mickey was getting beat up by the enemy and I was too far to shoot the guy. Then the guy ran, so I threw a grenade." I frowned and took a deep breath. He continued,

"But Mikey was running towards it too. It killed him instantly." Noah whispered the last part, as he started crying. I too him in my arms and hushed him. It lasted for about 10 minutes.

Afterwards, we went to the funeral. Many soldiers were there in their uniforms. I wondered why Noah hadn't put on his. After everyone said their words and had almost all left, Noah stayed in front of Mikey's grave. He whispered some words. 

I came up behind him and told him we should leave, since it was getting late and we had been standing and mourning for hours. He refused immediately and when I tried to convince him once more, he became aggressive and pushed me away. 

"Noah, stop! You can't keep being this way, he's gone! There is nothing you can do to bring him back!" He stared at me with disgust in his eyes. He took deep breaths to calm himself down and said, 

"I'll stay here a bit longer."

"Noah please! It's 9pm and we have to get home now." I touched his arm and he suddenly took me and slapped me hard across the face. I fell to the ground with tears in my eyes. I heard a man in the distance yell at us. He came up to us and faced Noah. 

"Excuse me, Noah? " We're going to ask you to come with us, please." Other man were behind him now, and they were all military. They were here to take him. To help him get well. He looked back at me and then at them. 

"Uh, sure no problem." He replied.