A/n before you read this I must warn you its sappy love crap that makes me ashamed of being a human.. But then again most of my stories are sappy love crap

    I don't usually have crushes on guys close to my age. Some of my most recent crushes are George Harrison, Syd Barrett, Mike Nesmith, and Micky Dolenz so obviously I'm not used to having hope with my crushes. But a year or two ago I caught feelings for my section leader in Drumline, Jon. He's gonna be a senior and I'm going into my sophomore year and that's probably the closest my crush has ever been to my age.

     Now the problem with this is I actually have a bunch of false hope that something might happen between us. He has a girlfriend and he acts like I'm his little sister and not anyone he's interested in so its probably not gonna happen. But 5 people have hinted towards Jon and I eventually becoming a couple. They even came up with a ship name for us and no one knows I like him.

      I really love and care about Jon and now my feelings are getting stronger because I'm worried sick about him. I don't know if I want to see him because of my crush or because I want to make sure he's okay. He's been in and out of mental health programs because he's recently been diagnosed with depression and I haven't seen him since the beginning of summer.

     So basically I'm laying in my bed right now stalking Facebook and hoping he comes to band so I can hug him forever because I don't know if I will ever be able to let go of him. ((Yeah he hugs me everytime he sees me now and I get butterflies in my stomach every time))

     Have you ever seen your crush with another person and just died a little inside? Yeah that's me all the time because I'm too shy to say anything to him that hints at a relationship with him and I don't know if it's my fault that we aren't together....

Anyway this is getting long and sappy and pathetic so in gonna stop here.

Thanks for making it through this chapter if you did. I'm sorry I just needed to rant a little about this and I thought why not update this at the same time.