I always thought that I was fine.

Everything that I had been through was horrible, yet I was okay. I was just stopping myself. It could easily be changed, I just went with my gut feeling and didn't change it.

But it's not normal to be scared of your parents when they're nice.

It's not normal to be scared of people when if you become hated by everyone you are going to be doing the exact same thing you are doing now.

It's not normal to be scared of hearing certain people's voices and looking a certain real people.

It's not normal to hate yourself to the point of where you don't have the energy to get out of bed every day.

It's not normal for you to not care about things worth being stressed over.

It's not normal to think if you have no visual proof that you're good at something it's not worth it.

It's not normal to only draw because you feel you can't do anything else.

It's not normal to not have the will power to stop listening to your stupid emotions.

It's not normal.

Yet you think it is.

And you're wrong.

Numbers and good reputation isn't everything.

Yet no matter how many times I tell you this, deep down you don't change.

You're afraid of change.

You're afraid of reality.

And the fact that you're not scared of being afraid of reality is a scary thought in itself.

And you're still not scared, just angry at yourself for not being scared.