Part Two

This was officially the worst thing that Shehnaaz could ever be faced with. No, actually that was a lie. Maybe, just maybe she was selling her life short.

This was not the worst day of her existence. This was just the day that she was being asked to revisit the worst day(s) of her existence.

Sounds easy enough. Doesn't it? It wasn't.

Shehnaaz sat in her cabin. Silence, horrifying, complete silence surrounded her. It was almost reminiscent of the days that she was about to re-visit. The days that made her want to throw herself into the void and never crawl back out.

No one would miss her.

Or would they?

Shehnaaz glanced down at her lap, where her hands lay intertwined together. Siddharth, covered her tiny hands in only one of his, staring up at her, expectant and patient.

Siddharth was sitting on his knees, right in front of her, every single cell of his body begging of her.

Talk.

That's all he asked of her.

To talk.

So they could fix themselves.

So he could fix her.

He looked determined today. Shehnaaz knew he'd rather die, than walk away again.

She wondered if it was even worth it. Sticking around, for her! A broken, battle struck girl. Wounded beyond the scope of healing.

She wondered, if the truth, her truth will cause him to back off?

Her heart broke, almost as if, into powdered pieces. What would she do, if Siddharth left then? After knowing everything? After taking a peek at her very soul, in all of it's weak, vulnerable and wounded glory?

"I can't." She whispered, almost pleading with him to let it go. "Please, I just can't."

Siddharth breathed in, a deep, shuddering, troubled gasp of air. Slowly, he removed his hands from above Shehnaaz's joined fingers and looked up. The sheer helplessness in his eyes made Shehnaaz want to break something, and like always. She chose herself.

"Siddharth, please--"

Siddharth shook his head. "I might not know what the problem is, but I know you. You're not running from this. You're not-- not today!"

Shehnaaz closed her eyes, "You'll hate me."

Siddharth sighed. "Let me be the one to decide that." He said. "I deserve that much."

To be completely fair, he wasn't wrong. Shehnaaz nodded, steeling herself.

This could only end, one of two ways. Either, it could break them more permanently and cause him to walk away, or it could bring them together, so firmly, it'd be like they were never apart.

"I was almost nine. Dad was in Germany, struggling with work and finances. Mom was single-handedly taking care of a family of almost twenty people."

"It was a different time. Dad used to call a few times a month, he'd mostly talk to mom and his parents and siblings who stayed with us. I used to get a small five second endearment, like-- rare few occasions. My parents were good people. They loved me dearly but they had lives, problems, responsibilities. I wasn't as high in their priority lists as I would have liked. I never really saw my father, too many times. I--" Shehnaaz sighed.

"That's when it started. My.. father's youngest brother.. started to show too much interest in my life.. in--" Her voice began to crack.

Shehnaaz curled her fists, nails digging painfully in her soft palms. "He'd talk to me about everything. My school, my friends, my.. my interests-- He'd.. bring me gifts.. cassette tapes of music-- chocolates, candies, He'd.. and then.. in return-- he'd ask me to be.. be quiet."

Siddharth heard her with his eyes wide, aware of exactly where this story was going and yet, hoping against his best instinct that it didn't end up where it was so obviously headed.

Alas, for his prayers were left unheard.

"He'd lock the door.. He'd.. lock the.. and ask me-- to be perfectly quiet. He'd ask me.. not to make a noise.. not to--" Shehnaaz's breathing was labored but that didn't stop her. It was as if someone had pushed the play button too late. Too damn late!

Siddharth stared at her, his heart in pieces, watching his perfect angel, with her face contorted in such horrible pain.

"I didn't know what was happening. I was too young to.. know. I had no idea- he-- he never.. he held a hand over my mouth.. I couldn't breathe-- Siddharth I couldn't--"

What was he supposed to do? Siddharth thought, almost horrified of even moving.

Shehnaaz didn't stop though. She couldn't. Not now, the pain had been inside her for too long, just simmering away, and now it was scathing hot.

"He.. did it almost everyday.. he did-- sometimes twice.. thrice. I couldn't breathe. I was supposed to stay perfectly quiet and I was-- couldn't breathe." Shehnaaz cried bitterly, almost uncontrollably.

No.

Siddharth was numb. He had done this, he had triggered this. This was his fault.

Was it?

Siddharth moved closer to her, half prepared for a push as he tentatively wrapped his arms around his angel. His war-battered, brave little angel. He didn't know any better. He didn't know what he'd do if she rejected him. He'd understand of course. He'd know why! But what now, what next?

Shehnaaz didn't push him away. Siddharth sighed, slightly relieved that at least she didn't find his touch, his physical contact repulsive but then he realized something else. She was mumbling something over and over, and it was turning more intelligible by the second.

"I couldn't breathe." Then, because of a monster's hand, pressing against her nose and mouth and now, because of the trauma weighing against her.

She couldn't breathe.

Siddharth gasped, running his hand urgently against her back, asking her to breathe.

"No.. sh.. Shehnaaz.. breathe.. please my love. Breathe.. baby. Please." He mumbled to her, urgently.

"I couldn't.."

"He's gone.. it's over. Please baby.. breathe my love. Please-- breathe my love. You're safe, sweetheart."

Shehnaaz shook her head, Siddharth felt her tugging at the front of his shirt, crumbling the fabric between her fingers.

"You're safe. You're okay. You're.. okay my sweet angel. Please breathe.. with me."

Only he knew what it took for him to not sob like a child, in this situation. Shehnaaz needed him.

She had been through hell.

She's still going through hell.

She needed Siddharth.

His warrior. His..

Siddharth pulled her closer. "Shh.. baby. It's okay. You're safe. Shehnaaz.. Naaz.. you're safe."

Shehnaaz sobbed, inconsolable.

"I never told my mom. I could never-- I told dad, but he never believed me. He came home for two years when I was twelve. He stayed for three, because I wouldn't let him go."

"I left home at fifteen. Dad was going back to Germany. It was all going to start all over again. I ran away. I ran.. I never stopped running. I never.."

Her breathing was still labored, but Siddharth knew it was because of the sobbing now, more than anything else but he still held on to her and continued to rub her back. "You're okay. You're so strong, sweetheart. You're so incredibly brave my love." He kept mumbling to her.

A few minutes later, the sobs stopped, causing Siddharth to look at the girl nestled in his arms, concerned. He smiled on finding her sound asleep against his chest.

It had been a long day, more for her than him. He scooped her up, careful not to disturb her sleep. He took the executive staff's private elevator and carried her to her car, driving towards home.

He still didn't know how he'd handle her. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to act like? What would she do when she finally woke up?

What would the aftermath of their confrontation with her past look like?

Siddharth didn't know and he was almost too scared to find out. Only thing he was sure of, was that he was going to fight.

Till his last breath.

For himself, for her.

For them!

He was not going to give up on them. He was not going to lose her. Not to this. Not to her past!.

***

























A few hours later, Shehnaaz woke up to see Siddharth staring at her lovingly. She smiled, sitting up in bed. "Hey there, warrior."

Shehnaaz chuckled. Siddharth scooted closer to her and pressed his lips gently on her forehead. "Are you okay?"

Shehnaaz nodded. No one spoke for the next few minutes. They looked at each-other, lost for words. "I see, you didn't leave."

"I can't."

Shehnaaz sighed. "Siddharth, this is not something you can fix with a snap of your fingers. I can probably never be the kind of partner that you want, one that you deserve. I can't fault you for expecting from me. I can't blame you for wanting at least some amount of intimacy. I can't ask you.. to-- to just stick around. It's not fair to you." She said quietly. "I was being selfish."

Siddharth cupped her face, "What if I want to stick around, Naaz? I know everything now, I know the problem and I might not have a solution for this at the moment but I want to find one. I want to wait for you to get comfortable with me.."

"I am comfortable with you Siddharth. I have never felt safer with anyone else. I-- It's not enough, Siddharth." Shehnaaz responded, softly.

Siddharth nodded. "Maybe not. But I'll make it work baby. Together we can make us work, trust me. Give me just one chance. Give us a chance and I promise I won't let you down."

Shehnaaz pressed her lips together, "You'll.. get tired and it won't even be your fault."

"Don't say that. Not of you. You're my life. I can't get tired of you." Siddharth said sincerely.

Shehnaaz looked down at her lap, still unsure, making Siddharth sigh softly and place his fingers below her chin. "You know, how the night sky is only beautiful because of the moon and it's stars. Together. When the stars are hidden behind the clouds, not visible to us the night sky loses its charm. You're like that." He whispered softly.

"You're the brightest star of the night sky of my life, you're the reason my life is worth living. I know you think I can't fix this and honestly I don't know if I can, but I still want to try. I just want to try. Please, Shehnaaz give me this. Just one chance. Please, my love!" Siddharth said softly.

A tear slipped down her cheek. Siddharth wiped her tears, shaking his head at her. "You don't hate me?" She asked innocently. "Not even a little, for what happened?"

Siddharth pressed his forehead against hers and smiled softly, rubbing on her face tenderly.

"I can't hate you for something you didn't choose. What happened was not your fault and you don't deserve to be punished for that." He spoke sincerely.

Shehnaaz sniffed, almost too cutely. "You'll love me forever?"

Siddharth nodded. "I will try my best."

"How can you, after knowing everything?" She asked, looking up at him with genuine confusion.

Siddharth smiled. "I fell in love with your heart, Shehnaaz, with your soul. Intimacy is just one expression of love. It's not the only thing a relationship stands on. If I have to, I will spend a lifetime waiting for you. It matters to me that you're comfortable, Shehnaaz. It will always be the most important thing for me. Your soul, your spirit is too wounded and right now, I just need you to let me heal that. I need you to allow me closer, so that I can dress those invisible wounds, baby. Can you do that?" Siddharth asked softly.

Shehnaaz nodded.

Siddharth pulled her into a hug. "I just need your help, I just need you to trust me, my love and we'll brave this thing. I will, if needed, spend my life tending to every single one of your wounds. I promise. I will never leave you." He said firmly.

Shehnaaz snuggled into him. "I thought it was foolish to believe that my life will ever be normal. Wishful thinking-- but you're here. You know everything and you're still here. My miracle is here."

"I'm your miracle?" Siddharth asked, surprised.

Shehnaaz nodded. "You're the touch of peace, you're my miracle. I promise I will try harder. I will get over this. I will become the woman that you deserve." She said.

"You already are. You are the woman I love. You are the woman I will love till I know how to love. I don't care about anything else. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out, to realize how absolutely incomplete I am without you" Siddharth said softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too. I love you more."

Shehnaaz looked up at him and very tentatively, cupped his right cheek, pulling him slightly.

Sidharth's eyes widened as he realized what she was trying to do. "Shehnaaz.."

She needed this. He needed this. He needed to know she was willing to fight alongside him. No matter what it took.

She placed her lips on Siddharth's, making him gasp softly. Tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"I don't know.. how do I--"

Siddharth closed his eyes, bringing his hands upwards to cup her cheek. "You're doing perfect."

They both knew it was not a kiss, but it was perfect. It was a small, very small step, but it was one nonetheless.

Siddharth knew what it must've took, to push aside years of trauma even for a few seconds and he was blessed, because she did it for him. She did it because she needed him to know.

This is why he wanted to fight for them. Because they deserved it. Their love deserved it. She deserved it.



I was not sure how loved this will be, but you guys certainly took me by surprise.

I hope you like this final chapter of the story as well.

Let me know

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