"Come in." Shehnaaz said curtly, straightening up in her chair. Siddharth peeked inside, apprehensive.

"I needed to--"

Shehnaaz tapped on the table causing the papers to rattle softly. Siddharth walked in.

"I.."

Shehnaaz pulled a blue file out of a small stack of files kept in a corner on her table and forwarded it to him. Siddharth took the file and skimmed through its contents.

"You have already signed them." Siddharth said quietly. "I thought--"

Shehnaaz sighed, standing up from her seat and walked up to a bookshelf. Siddharth bit his tongue.

"I also need--"

Shehnaaz walked back with a leather binder. "It has everything, color coded and customized for the better understanding of your interns."

Siddharth nodded. "Thank you."

Shehnaaz walked back to her desk and opened her laptop. Siddharth followed her.

"Will you never talk to me?" He asked softly.

"I do talk to you." She responded, not looking away from her computer screen.

"Like I am a stranger."

Shehnaaz shrugged. "It happens, Siddharth. People grow apart."

Siddharth pursed his lips. "At what cost?"

Shehnaaz didn't respond.

"You're behaving like this is my fault." Siddharth said firmly. "Like you had nothing to do with it."

"I never said that."

Siddharth rolled his eyes. "The whole office thinks you've gone crazy. You're like a fire breathing dragon, a badly made coffee is setting you off."

Shehnaaz smiled. "I like my coffee made perfectly."

"That's not the point, Shehnaaz." Siddharth snapped.

"What is? What is the point then, Siddharth?" Shehnaaz asked curiously. "Am I behaving like a baby? Do I disappoint you Siddharth?"

Siddharth looked at her dejected. "Naaz."

"Don't. You. Dare."

"Shehnaaz you're--"

"Not dealing with this the right way?" Shehnaaz asked, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

Siddharth sighed. "No. Not really."

Shehnaaz chuckled sarcastically. "Fortunately, I don't need your approval to live."

"Do you need something else Siddharth?" She asked. Siddharth shook his head.

"Then, please leave." Shehnaaz said firmly. "I'm a little occupied right now."

"Sheh--"

"Leave!" Shehnaaz said sternly.

Siddharth nodded. "It's not easy for me either, you know. We had been together for over a year and I.. loved you every second of every day."

Shehnaaz looked back at him and smiled sadly. "You're the one who left, Siddharth."

Siddharth walked back to her. "We weren't happy, Shehnaaz. You were never completely there."

Shehnaaz pressed her lips together, "Who the hell do you think you are, to decide that?" She asked. "Did I ever say that?"

"I saw it happen. Every single day. You never-- never made efforts for us." Siddharth said quietly.

Shehnaaz blinked. "I.. didn't?"

For a few seconds, Shehnaaz felt molten anger, bubbling in the pit of her stomach. How dare this man!! She thought almost in disgust.

Then, something struck.

Suddenly, She understood what he wanted to say.

Siddharth thought she wasn't completely there. He believed that she never made any efforts for them.

Siddharth saw the look of pure horror cloud her face, slowly, almost completely. It was like seeing all of her life sucking out of her and Siddharth's heart broke on witnessing the look on her face.

Maybe, he had gone a step too far.

For Shehnaaz, however, it was far worse.

Because she finally got the answers that she seeked. The reason for Siddharth walking out on them was.. her. The man that she had been blaming for the past week, for breaking up with her, for no reason at all and walking away from her, without giving her closure had finally given her what she asked for.

His reason.

Her closure.

In that moment, Shehnaaz wished he hadn't because now that she knew, she could never ever forget.

The reason was her.

He gulped, ready for a shouting match, a livid, angry Shehnaaz bursting on him, shooting literal daggers at him, by her eyes.

What he wasn't ready for, however, was what he got. A small, almost imperceptible agreement. A nod that barely even registered as a nod.

"Maybe you're right." She spoke, her voice sounded completely void of life.

"Shehnaaz.."

Shehnaaz shook her head. "No. No.. no-- you're.. you're right." Her voice began to crack as she stumbled backwards, almost as if running from something-- someone.

Siddharth's eyes grew wide. "Shehnaaz.. I didn't mean-- Naaz baby.."

Shehnaaz continued to shake her head, almost hysterically. "No. You're right. I was a fool."

Siddharth felt his heart breaking, all over again. He absolutely hated to see her that way. It was not what he had wanted, not what he had hoped the outcome would be, of their break-up.

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't—

Siddharth walked up to her and pulled her into his arms. "Shh.. shh.. baby. It's ok."

"You deserve better. You don't deserve this. You're right.. you—"

Siddharth rubbed her back. "Hey.. don't say that. I'm sorry— I'm very sorry I went too far! I went— I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry baby."

Shehnaaz shook her head. "No.. it's my-- my fault. I didn't try. I made no efforts. It's my.. fault."

"I had no right to make a solo decision. It affected both of us. I was supposed to talk to you. I was supposed to get your side of the argument." Siddharth said softly.

"It won't work." Shehnaaz said quietly. "You were right to walk away."

Siddharth struggled to hold back a sob of his own, in that moment. Yes, they were broken up. Yes. It was his decision. Yes, he had convinced himself that it was the only thing that he could do, to do right by her, because if she needed him to walk away. He would. For her, for her happiness.

But no. He could never not love her. She was like stars, in a moonless night. When all else failed him, she came, like his saving grace.

His beautiful, little star, his pretty little moon. His whole damned world.

He couldn't even find the will to laugh at himself. His calculation, his assumption had brought them here. It was him, his impulsiveness that had caused the one person who he loved to death, break so thoroughly into pieces while he tried desperately to hold her together.

Where had they gone wrong? He wondered to himself.

It was weird.
They were both hurting.
They were both breaking
They were both blaming themselves for their situation, while none was at fault.

To be fair, they didn't know any better.

The one who had walked out, at first wanted to stay and hold themselves together. Mend what was broken in them, for it was he who had broken them in the first place.

And the one who had never wanted to leave, was the one pushing her solace away, beating herself up for something she couldn't control.

Too broken, she thought she was for the man who saw nothing but perfection in her. Nothing but light.

"It was my job, to get things right. I should've tried harder, I should've--"

"I can't--" Shehnaaz spoke through a clogged throat. "I can never.. give you what you need."

Siddharth's breath hitched for a tiny second.

"I need you. That's all. I only ever need you Shehnaaz." Siddharth said sincerely.

It was true, but Shehnaaz didn't want to believe him now. Not after this.

"I can't. I can't."

Siddharth pulled away, searching her face desperately.

"You deserve better."

"You're the best. You're everything."

"Don't say that. Please don't say that. Don't make it hurt so bad. Please don't--" Shehnaaz sobbed, clutching on to him for dear life. "Please walk away.. please-- you deserve so much better."

Siddharth gathered her back into his arms, mumbling sweet nothings to her. "I don't need better. I need you."

"I can't.."

"Just tell me what I need to do, Shehnaaz. I'd do it. I would, without question." Siddharth said softly. "We're both in pain, we're both hurting and we don't deserve this, not one of us."

"You can't do anything. You-- can't change anything. I was a fool to think my life can be any different. I was a fool to think that I could-- be loved. It was all wishful thinking. It was all.." Shehnaaz sobbed. "I'm sorry Siddharth.. I'm so sorry-- you.. deserve better."

Siddharth sighed. "We do have a problem, you know. I interpreted it differently than it was meant to be interpreted."

Shehnaaz frowned. What was he talking about?

"Siddharth what--"

Siddharth shook his head. "No. You're not talking. You're not talking unless you're asked to. Shut up and sit down."

Shehnaaz looked up at him, struggling to understand what he wanted. Siddharth steered her back to her seat and made her sit. Next, he picked up the receiver of her intercom and patched to her personal assistant.

"Shehnaaz is in a meeting. Right after, I'll be taking her home. I need you to ensure that no one disturbs us for the next two hours & cancel any and all of her appointments for the day. Capiche?" Siddharth spoke with a tone of professional indifference, while Shehnaaz stared at him, utterly confused.

After getting the confirmation he needed, from Shehnaaz's personal assistant he replaced the intercom receiver and turned to face the keeper of his heart.

"We need to talk, Shehnaaz. We've been together for so long, and yet.. I feel like a complete stranger in your life. We both know that we love each-other, far too much to be happy apart. I tried to walk away from us once and this is where it got us. We're both in pain, we're both clueless and we can't continue like this." Siddharth said softly.

"I'm not going to walk away from you, not again. I don't have the strength for that. After what I saw today, I don't have a reason either." He continued.

"At first I thought I was doing this for your betterment but.. I was wrong. We're both far worse than we were, before everything happened and I can't bear to go through that, one more time. I can't and neither can you."

"It's my fault." Shehnaaz whispered softly.

"Maybe it is. Maybe it's not. We'll get through this, either way. I promise you. We just have to talk." Siddharth said patiently.

"Just leave. It's easier." Shehnaaz said, sniffing quietly. Siddharth wrapped his hand around both of hers and chuckled softly.

"I can't. Not twice. I love you and leaving you, again-- it's not something I'm capable of. I'd rather die." Siddharth said firmly.

Shehnaaz shook her head frantically. "No! Don't say that."

Siddharth pecked the tips of her fingers delicately. "Let's fix this. Please. Talk to me and I promise to listen. I need to fix us, baby, for both of our sakes."

Something daring, I hope. This one has a painful, dark undertone and I have waited for so long to post this one, really. It's been sitting in the vault for more than a year.

Let me know what you think?

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